[FIN] A Matter of Duty (Nawiri'chiwa x Kiwi'lan)

[Uta]

It was getting late. The sun was beginning to set and the moon was already peaking high in the sky. A few stars were dotting the landscape, and Nawiri'chiwa was pacing within her den. She knew what she had to do . . . she had already made her decision, for it was hers alone to make. Let the viziers say what they wanted, let them continue to hound her and throw out names of possible choices. . . Ultimately, at this age, it came down to whomever she deemed worthy.

He wasn't a terribly aggressive lion, which was good, which was wise. And while she was unsure how he would be when it came to travelling the borders or at least making commands, well . . . he would learn. They could learn together, at any rate. It would be an adjustment not just for him, if he accepted, but for herself as well. She'd been rather accustomed to making decisions on her own, though it would be good to go back to the traditions of yore.

Even if she wasn't entirely sure of her feelings, even if she was frightened of his rejection, frightened of the thought of ruining the tender friendship they had built . . . well. . . it was time. It was time for her to choose a mate and entrust the safety of the pride within his paws. The Kitwana'antara would be happy at the news, would be glad for her, and life coul resume.

But . . . what if he said no? Or worse, what if he said yes out of duty, but secretly despised his position? It wasn't just choosing a king, it was also picking a future father for her children. And children would have to follow, as a future heiress would have to be chosen. Cubs weren't optional, they were mandatory! But love, feelings, genuine care. . .no, such things were second and third on the list. She wasn't allowed to fall in love. Kiwi'lan and her own feelings were pushed aside by duty. . . .

What did he think of her? Did he feel anything? Oh. . . She'd go around in circles all day wondering. It didn't matter. What mattered was that he was chosen, and it was time now to see if he'd accept. For a brief moment, as she walked slowly out of her den, she yearned for the young escort she'd been betrothed to. It had been so much simpler then . . . They had known they were meant to be together. If he hadn't passed away, she wouldn't be in a bind wondering about feelings and emotions and having to face Kiwi'lan with such a choice. But . . . those days were long gone.

Maybe none of this was meant to be easy.

"Kiwi'lan?" Nawiri had decided to check his den first. With luck he was feeling up for a spot of conversation. She hadn't summoned him officially, because this wasn't just duty for Nawiri. This was something a little more personal.

 

[Nuxaz]

It seemed as though the disease had decided to halt it's relentless attack upon the pink colored male and he found himself with the strength to do more than curl up in a ball deep within the shadows of his den. Today he sat staring blankly at the sky at the opening of his den. His raven bond had taken this day of good health to scout the lands around the pride in search of new blood who would be willing to sacrifice themselves to helping the dwindling pride.

The disease had taken it's toll on the once strong male's body, his frame was rather thin and his ribcage was barely visible beneath his fur. He had hardly been eating lately because it was hard for him while he had been wracked with pain.

He saw Nawiri long before she had even called his name. A large grin had spread across his maw, as it always did whenever he saw his queen. "My lady," he replied dipping his head in a small bow. "What brings you here?"  

[Uta]

The grey lioness was pleased to see him out. He had lost a lot of weight from when she had known him before the disease showed signs, but . . . he was looking healthier. There was no doubt he was in the first stages of the disease, though for awhile she feared he would merely slip in to the intermediate and advanced stages of the pride. But his progression had slowed and he looked well enough . . .

And for this, Nawiri was ever so grateful. Hopefully, Pestilence would have mercy on his soul, and allow him some time to enjoy his life. The grey lionesses biggest fear would be that she would watch yet another beloved waste away to nothing long before it was her time.

But that was neither here nor there. Allowing herself to smile, trying to forget the uncertainty of her future that lay before her, the dual eye-colored lioness dipped her own head in greeting. "Kiwi'lan . . . It is good to see you again. You're looking well today. How have you been feeling?" Part of Nawiri wanted to merely slip in to pleasant conversation, to give him a check up, and walk away.

But this wasn't about her. This wasn't even about him. This was about bringing the pride together and finally accepting her duty. Unable to sit, pacing a bit in front of him in an uncharacteristic moment of nervousness, she decided to be more direct. "Actually, if you have a moment, I . . . I have something to discuss with you. A matter of business." She wasn't trying to sound trite or uncordial. She just wasn't entirely sure how to go about bringing up a potential change to his future!

And what if he was seeing someone? After what happened with Sliabh and Eva'raja, Nawiri wasn't entirely sure about anyone's relationship status. . . oi. It would just be her luck that her chosen king would be head over heels for another.

 

[Nuxaz]

While his body had weakened, his mind was as strong and sharp as ever if not just the slightest bit weary. He nodded at her words and looked down at himself. "I must say that I have been feeling better, it seems like the gods are favoring me this week," he commented with a half smile. "They have blessed me with a time of recovery and for that I thank them," he told her shaking his mane out slightly.

When she began to pace back and forth a frown formed on his lips and his brows knitted together in worry. "My lady," he began sliding into a standing position so he could take a few steps toward her. "Is something troubling you?"

Kiwilan had known his queen since they had been cubs and he had done his best to get to know her and through that they had a formed a friendship however fragile it may be. He knew her because he spent his entire life watching her, worrying about her and hoping that she would make it through without being trapped by the disease that took his entire family from him.

Then she had exhibited signs of the disease and was chosen as the next queen and everything he had feared had become true. Now here she was, one of the more healthy remaining members of the pride, looking after him as he finally showed the disease that had been manifesting inside.

"Business? I am always all ears for you."  

[Uta]

Oh dear. . . . She was losing it. Perhaps if she didn't care for her friend, it would truly be a call of duty. But it had occurred to the silver lioness that she was starting to think more and more about Kiwi'lan. He was a friend, certainly, and one she had known all her life. But it was only recently that she began allowing her thoughts to stray more towards the vibrantly coated male. She cared about all within her pride and yet . . . . she secretly worried about Kiwi'lan the most.

It was disconcerting, for she didn't like to have favorites. And yet here she was, her heart and emotions going haywire. This wasn't easy to discuss because it meant a possible contamination of their friendship. If he accepted but felt nothing for her, than they would both be in awkward situations. If he denied her, which was his right to do, than . . .well. . . .it would mean she would have to find a replacement. And her feelings would go unrequitted. But what if he accepted and did . . . or learned. . . to feel for her?

Well. That was as close to love as she figured she'd get. And if there was one male whom she wished to cherish it would be Kiwi'lan. But . . . . there was no guarantee. This wasn't about feelings anyway. This was about duty to the Kitwana'antara. She needed a mate so the pride would have a king. She needed a mate so the next generation could continue. That was it.

Realizing she was pacing, and likely worrying the lion before her, she gave a shake of her head. "No, I'm . . . I apologize for my frazzled nature. It's been a long night, a long day, and the subject that concerns me most also concerns you." Sitting down before him, Nawiri looked away for a moment, gathering her thoughts and pushing feeling to the wayside.

Well, time to just spit it out.

"We've been friends and have known each other for awhile now. As you know, the pride has been short a rather important member of the pride, a king, and it has been heavily encouraged by my viziers that I remedy this situation as soon as possible." Part of Nawiri scolded herself for sounding lie a blubbering idiot, but she kept her tone neutral and her voice firm. "After studying and contemplating the options before me, I've decided that you are the most ideal lion to take up such a position. So I am here to . . . to see if you might honor me by accepting the position as my king." She didn't dare bring up the fact that he would have to be her mate, because that much was obvious, and it just felt . . . odd. Strange.

She didn't want the idea of him being her mate to frighten him off. The romantic in her was apalled that she was taking such a business and duty-bound approach to her feelings. In fact, she hadn't even admitted any feelings to Kiwi'lan . . .she kept herself as neutral as possible.

That way, if he declined, she wouldn't look a fool. And if he accepted, until she understood how he felt about her, once again, she could avoid getting caught up in emotional drama or ties. The Gerda, Jozo, and Eppie situation was bad enough. . . Unlike them though, Kiwi'lan and she would have to get along cordially, even if he learned to loathe her or his position.

"I know this isn't necessarily an easy choice to make, as it disrupts your future or any plans and dreams you hoped to achieve. Feel no need to respond right away, if you wish to think upon it." There. That way the pressure was off.

 

[Nuxaz]

Kiwilan didn't like how she was acting or the fact that it felt as though she was lying to him. He understood that being the queen of the pride was a difficult position but he had always thought of himself as someone that Nawiri could come to for anything. Someone that his queen could confide in and one that she would have to hide nothing from. He opened his maw to speak, to try and convince her that he could help with whatever was troubling her but he words stopped him in his tracks.

He stood impassively listening as she explained herself and the situation she was in. His features remained emotionless as he tried to process all of the information that she was feeding him. As he tried to process what she was asking of him. Slowly he nodded stepping closer to her. "It is easier than you may think," he responded slowly reaching out to touch her paw softly.

"It would be my honor and my pleasure to be your king," he told her dropping his head.  

[Uta]

Nawiri had looked away, awaiting his answer with bated breath. Her stomach was churning, not from disease or nausea inflicted by the plague, but because . . .well. . . this was an important decision. Both for her and him. It wasn't just feelings or duty, but there would be pressure on Kiwi'lan to . . .well. . .act his role. There were responsibilities for both Queen and King . . . . he helped guard the outside of the pride, helped the warriors and guards, while she tended to those sick.

Would he be up to the challenge? Would he prefer not to get his paws involved at all? And if he said yes, would they remain friends or would they grow more distant? Would he--

Then Kiwi'lan spoke. Glancing up, ears pricked forward, she noticed he had moved closer. He didn't look surprised or torn, he didn't look put off or unsure, in fact he seemed rather calm, cool and collected about the whole thing. His paw touched her own, and she tore her gaze from his to look down at it. A softer pink against black . . . And he accepted!

Dutifully, he had agreed to . . .well. . . to take the post as King. Which meant that he would soon be her mate. Leave it to Kiwi'lan . . . he wouldn't let her own. He hadn't in the past, why should he now? A small smile crossed her features, and she pushed any and all feeling to the side. Of course he'd accept the position - he was loyal and had always put the pride first, had always done as she requested.

This was just one more role he could fulfill. And here she had worried about feelings. He . . .didn't feel any different for her at all, did he? Something akin to remorse and relief flooded Nawiri'chiwa. It was silly of her to actually think that anything would change or be different. It . . .was what it was.

"If you are certain. I know this isn't an easy responsibility, and it comes with expectations and duties attached. But I hope you know I am willing to accommodate as necessary." She gave a small chuckle, though it might have been a little forced. "I'd prefer you stay happy in your position as King, and you needn't worry about me getting in the way or upsetting any . . . current relationships you might be in." There. She said. In short, if Kiwi'lan had other prospects in mind, she would turn the other cheek. She wouldn't cause drama or chaos, she wouldn't make a war over things, she wouldn't make the other feel uncomfortable. "So long as you're discreet." She added with another little smile.

There.

He could rule by her side and they could be duty bound with one another. But he wouldn't have to feel as if he were tied to her in any way outside of fulfilling a few necessities.

 

[Nuxaz]

"I cannot think of anything I would rather do," Kiwilan replied smiling softly at her. This had been what he had wanted and while it had not been the way he wished for it to happen he was happy. He did not want this because of the position but because of who he would be with, Nawiri was his heart whether she knew it or not. He didn't care if she knew as long as he could spend his time with her.

"There is nothing for you to worry about my queen," he told her almost appalled by the fact that she would even suggest that. There was no female in the entire pride who had ever caught his eye and perhaps that was because he had always known who he had feelings for. When she mentioned that he could peruse other females if he wished, if he had them, he nearly blurted out that there was only one he cared for. Instead he chose his words carefully. "I will do anything for you my queen, I will always do anything for you and I will never, ever hurt you," he told her making it seem like it was all about duty rather than actual feelings.

"I will never dishonor you by being unfaithful, if you wish for me to be your king that is all I will be."  

[Uta]

The grey lioness was relieved that it would be Kiwi'lan who would rule beside her. She honestly didn't want anyone else, though she would have picked another had he declined her request. But Kiwi'lan hadn't disappointed her, and he had chosen his path as dutifully as ever.

Her smile never wavered, even if her heart did. More and more, she realized that this truly was all because of Kiwi's loyalty to her. It was because she was the queen, had always been the queen, and he had always been faithful to her. This was no different. In way, it felt as if it were just an order, a command. Something he could do to better the pride.

There was no feeling behind it. . no real care outside of their friendship. And that, she realized, was how things were going to be. He was her friend, and he was doing her a great favor. She was ever grateful, and she hoped she could make his life pleasant and comfortable. In a way, nothing would really change. . . She'd continue her duties, and he'd begin his new path under the role of King. And life . . .would go on.

Maybe it was better this way. Maybe, in time, her own feelings could cool and she could get him out of her head. Maybe. All in due time. Smiling gently, Nawiri nodded and gave a bow to him all her own. "You've always been generous, Kiwi'lan. I truly do appreciate all you sacrifice for the pride. There is no one I'd like more at my side, as King, than you, my friend. So thank you."

There. Cordial and reserved. She would accept that they were friends, and only friends. And such would be their lot. "I will make the announcement to the viziers tomorrow, and officially to the pride shortly thereafter." his life was about to get turned upside down. . . but such was his choice. For now, they could keep things quiet, and after the official announcement he could move from his spot to her den.

It was expected. . . but she wouldn't pressure or rush him. It was mostly a formality, anyway. Just to prove they were cohesive and keep peace within the pride. Together, no matter what, they would help keep the peace of the Kitwana'antara. Surely, there was no better lion.
 

[Nuxaz]

"I hardly consider it a sacrifice my queen," he replied quirking a brow at her surprised that she would see it as such. Then he realized just how formal he was making the whole situation. But he couldn't change the tone of the conversation now, this was what was expected of him and she certainly couldn't care for him as anything more than a friend.

She had come to him because he was the best candidate for the job and because it was her duty to find a suitable king. There was nothing more to it. Right?

"I am yours Nawiri," he told her, his tone soft and nearly inaudible.  

[Uta]

Nawiri had to strain to haer his words, but a part of her heart fluttered upon hearing them. If only he really meant it though, if only . . . if only, if only, if only! Enough with if only's! What more could she ask of her friend? How ungrateful she was to the spirits! Guilt started to eat at her, realizing that she was being selfish in wanting more than what Kiwi'lan was offering.

Just because their relationship wasn't something grandiose or romantic, just because their future partnership would be laid on a foundation of duty and friendship, not love, didn't make it any less important. He would be her future mate, and likely the father of her children. Hopefully, they could continue to be friends while they attended to their duties and made adjustments to their new roles.

"And I am ever grateful for that, Kiwi'lan. Truly." Giving her head a shake, she patted his paw softly with her own before heaving a controlled sigh. "Well, it is growing late. I should make my last rounds, and give thanks to the goddess for my good fortune. I . . I will see you soon, then." A small smile graced her features before she turned and headed back to her den.

She had a lot to think about. . . and a lot to prepare for in the upcoming days.
 

[Nuxaz]

Kiwilan nodded at her words when she told him that she had to leave. "Of course m'lady, I would never want to keep you from your duties," he stated with a soft smile. Inwardly his heart was thudding from the simply fact that she had chose him, him of all the males in the pride, but outwardly he was nothing more than the respectful lion that she had come to appreciate. He was the lion who was more than worthy to take her place beside her as king.

If only that were really true.

He stepped backward, towards the darkness of his den as he watched her go. "Always yours," he mumbled to himself letting his yellow eyes linger upon her form until he could no longer see her. "There is no reason to be thankful for me," he sighed turning around and slipping into the darkness.

He had to speak to Ajani, there was much for the two to discuss.