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 Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 12:28 am
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Edited: Things in red have been added in since I first posted this.
End of Edit.
So -Insertegohere- Liger brought something back to my attention that I'm all to familiar with. There is a distinct lack of RP ability among some of the members of the guild. Nothing against them personally, but this lack of skill is something that can lower the quality of RP for everyone.
So I've been tossing the idea back and forth with Liger (who mentioned Pummmel and few others were throwing the same idea around for a little while too) and this is what we've got so far:
First and foremost the RP college can be used to assess a tamer's competence for RolePlaying. I would be more than happy to role play a bit with the tamer in question and give them a grade based on a set of criteria (creativity, character development, grammar/spelling, effort, and Overall Effectiveness and Ease of Reader Comprehension. -we can change these if they sound... "lacking"). Guild members looking to create an RP event could choose to require a basic minimum "grade" for participants, or it could be used in some other way....
From there we expanded on the idea, and added these areas:
1 Creating "courses" where a Tamer could learn some additional RP skills or areas of specialty
>Fitting the role (villain/hero/victim/etc.)
>Making the perfect profile
>How to act out multiple characters
>Basics of Roleplaying
>etc. and open to additions and suggestions....
We could have veteran and active members act as instructors for these courses.
2 We could give out tamer card awards or other types of rewards (like digivolution items, common digimon, other/etc.) for graduates or particularly skilled pupils
3 There could be an art component, where an artist would draw up and fill out a "RP College Report Card" after a tamer complete's a course.... Then the tamer could put it in their sig, or tamer profile depending on what they wanted to do.
The main focus would be to assess and help improve the RP skills of those in the guild to create a better RP experience for everyone...
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Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 2:57 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:00 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:03 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:06 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 6:52 pm
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Okay guys I'd like opinions on my Rp skills. Here is an rp from an online wrestling gaming league I have made
Key:
Omnicide=Me
Cody Cameron=My Partner
Celt and Crysis= Team supporting alcohol
Mod, Sajid, Jari, Andy= Unimportant at this point XD
Rp based on: World Wrestling Entertainment
Andy and Jari's music hits, and they make their way to the ring. Moments after they finish, Welcome to the Masquerade surrounds the arena, and kids hold up posters that say 'I took the Straight Edge pledge' and 'I want to live in the Dark Cide', accompanied by loud cheers for the Straight Edge Soldiers. However, no one comes out. And instead, the Titantron turns into a stream of Omnicide and Cody Cameron lying in a pool of blood and shattered glass. The cameraman turns the camera towards himself and is revealed to be none other than Celt, with Crisis behind him. Celt: Just making sure my match tonight has no company.He and Crisis laugh as they turn the camera off. Meanwhile Andy and Jari run backstage to try and get Down to Nothing some help. TIME SKIPMod, with Sajid, makes his way to the ring for his match with Celt. Afterwords, Celt and Crisis start their entrance, however something strange happens. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7oqmikZDQThis music and movie show on the Titantron instead of the normal CCS theme song. Celt and Crisis try their best to ignore it as they enter the ring. At the end of the video, a message saying 'Traffic crashes are the No.1 killer of teens and nearly one-third of teen traffic deaths are alcohol-related.' shows on the Titantron. Max Alfonso: Now I wonder who could've done that.TIME SKIPCelt successfully pins Mod, and after a few moments Sajid picks him up and helps him out of the ring. Celt celebrates with his CCS brother, but unknown to them, Omnicide and Cody come out from behind the barricades and sneak into the ring with something in their hands. They poke Celt and Crisis on their shoulders, and when the drunken ones turn around they are greeted by an RKO and a Mic Check, leaving them near unconsciousness. Omnicide and Cody hold up their hands to reveal nicotine patches. They then proceed to sit on top of the defenseless CCS, pick up their heads, and choke them out with the patches. The show closes with CCS struggling to get air.
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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:41 am
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You know what I'll go ahead and grade you like I would, if the school get's approved. Probably best to show that I my self am competent, kind of a way of showing my own qualifications XP
So I'll grade what you've shown on the 5 potential areas (added a new area while grading) I mention... though those may not be the exact areas that you will be assessed on when the and if the school does open...
Also best to say it before hand, but I have very little knowledge on the subject of style wrestling. I was a high school wrestler (we use collegiate wrestling style rules and scoring...) for a good four years, of which I wrestled varsity matches in all 4 years... (ego boost sorry for the pointless addition to the end of that sentence)
READ THIS:
The text in red below are just my thoughts and reactions that I have while I'm reading your sampler. The actual Grades will all be in bold and can be found at the bottom of the page more or less...))
Any way enough blather here's what I think about the little sampler you've shown me:
-First off, I don't know enough about this "Welcome to the Masquerade" that you mention. I know of a song by that title, which it could be a song, considering how you were just talking about music (I assume that music was theme music intro type stuff), but looking further at the context it's also possible it's some kind of group of people... I'm not sure...
Moving on.
-I love the inclusion of the sign slogans, that's a wonderfully creative touch!
-You have two sentences, "However, no one comes out. And instead, the..." that can either be a compound sentence, "...comes out, and the Titantron..." or two sentences, "...comes. Instead the Titantron....). Starting a sentence with "and" is a big "no no" when it comes to grammar.
-I think you mean to say, "the Titantron turns to a...." rather than "into". Unless of course it's a transformer XP
-Good use of imagery (imagery referring to details that allow the reader to better fully imagine a scene, including all five senses, and not just "what you see") in the first paragraph.
-The line Celt says is a bit vague, enough so, that I'm not sure if he means that he just beat his competition to a bloody mess, or he's saying that no one is going to come see a match where his opponents are heavily injured... or what exactly... Though from context I'm rather sure it's the first one....
-From the sample you gave me, I'm not entirely sure what "Down to Nothing" is. I'm guessing it's the team name for the pair of wrestlers who were shown lying around in a bloody mess...
-"Time Skip" is a bit tacky... maybe try "Later" or "Fast forward a few hours..." or even say what happened in the interim. An example of the last suggestion in the previous sentence would be, "After Andy and Jari arrived and..." etc. etc. (you'd know better what they did than I would).
-The video was a nice little touch... but I do wonder, who is RPing with you? Are you controlling the Pro-Alcohol team too?
-Is this "Max Alfonso" character an announcer, just a fan of the anti-alcohol team, good personal friend with said team, what? I realize that this is only a small sample, but I'm just sharing my thoughts with you as I analyze it. So you might understand what goes through the mind of 3rd parties who read your RP. ^^
-Time skip again... Though it is nice that you color coded it and and the words people speak.
-The whole centered, black (text color, I notice the rest of it is grey... or maybe it's bolded? I dunno...) Speaker followed by a colon" for words directly spoken aloud is fine and a stylistic and grammatically appropriate choice. Though you may want to actually just use the tried and true method of, "(Character Name) *insert phrase of verb here, something like said, did such and such as he/she declared, etc.*, and then parenthesis, with the spoken statement/question/whatever, punctuation and ending parenthesis." I only say that because you've already got most of what you need (new paragraph like what you have, indented (accomplished with centering is fine XP), and spoken quotation by a character. XP), so it wouldn't be too had to make it "perfect" in terms of grammatical conventions... However it's also not a big deal and there are plenty of personal styles that work just fine, yours being a good one.
-I have no idea what CCS, stands for, but I assume it's the initials for the pro-alcohol team name, and might even have something to do with the names of the wrestlers, "Celt" and "Crysis" but I have no clue what the "S" stands for... Though again I realize this is just a sampler and I wouldn't want to have to read something much longer in order to know everything about this RP's details. You know, because I'm lazy. razz
-I'm not familiar with the terms "RKO" and "Mic Check".
-It seems like you rush this last paragraph, and it also feels like the Pro-Alcohol fighters seem to:
A. get drunk, not only within moments of winning, but it feels like within moments of consuming alcohol. I'm anything but an expert on the subject, but I'm fairly certain of a few things. Those being that people who drink chronically, like I'm sure the Pro-Alcohol guys would, tend to be able to consume larger quantities or alcohol before experiencing the effects to their full extent. Also it takes at least a little bit for alcohol to metabolize and start affecting you. (It doesn't just magically make you magically drunk just by touching the inside of your mouth. XP It takes a little bit of time.)
B. The Pro-alcohol team really decided it was a good idea to just get roaring drunk in the ring... right after winning a match? They didn't want to shower or sit down or anything first?
C. Outside of official sports like situations, violence (which I'm sure that's what the anti-alcohol team did, when you mention them doing things that leave the now drunken fighters "nearly unconscious"...) is not exactly legal. I assume this ring is in a highly public arena, potentially still filled to the brim with fans and spectators... So this could be grounds for an assault/battery charge. Though in hindsight, the implied beating to a bloody pulp that was aired on the Titantron earlier, isn't much better...
-The entire last sentence is something makes no sense to me, and seams like something some of the potentially thousands of spectators (especially the pro-alcohol team's fans....) might be flooding the ring to stop... Not to mention might get said fighters disqualified by any sort of Official (like a referee...) who witnesses said action. Also Nicotine patches? What on earth is up with that? Not to mention the question of how on earth do you choke someone with a patch that is typically measured in size by inches or centimeters...
Okay those were my thoughts, now a grade:
creativity: I give you an A- for some interesting plot twists and reveals, as well as those awesome signs. This sample is definitely creative, but it's probably not a full "A".
character development: You earned a B- here. Character development could be about having the characters grow and develop, but since this is only a small sample, it refers to how much personality the character displays. While they seam like interesting characters and they display more personality than what is strictly the minimum for adequate (a "C"), they don't really seem very deep or complex per se.
grammar/spelling: Definitely an A. It doesn't shock and wow me, and I didn't actually look for spelling errors (I only mention them when I see them. So if they aren't obvious, I don't care.), and the grammar seemed to be nearly flawless. Though there are a few things here and there that I like to nit pick, so not an A+.
effort: Another A. This sample is a great length, and you Clearly put some extra effort into it. (Linking the youtube vid, and making up sign slogans. XD) Though I'm going to be tough to get an A+ from in this category. I might expect to see a song you wrote or something equally epic to earn an A+...
And I decided I needed a final category, so I'm also going to grade based on, "Overall Effectiveness, and Ease of Reader Under Standing"
Overall effectiveness and Ease of Comprehension: I'm giving you an A- here as well. Even though I clearly don't understand everything, because it was only a sample. I'm able to piece most of it together, and make some, (what I hope are) educated guesses to the things that I didn't know. I can only assume that those that are participating in this RP with you will easily and fully understand everything. The sample is very effective and not confusing in the the slightest, with one exception. That exception being only the very last sentence. If you worked on that last paragraph to be a little less rushed, and reworded or thought about and edited that last sentence, then I think you'd definitely be deserving of an A+ in this area.
So in short:
creativity:A-
character development:B-
grammar/spelling:A
effort:A
Effectiveness/Comprehension: A-
Overall in terms of Role Playing Capability (like a GPA of all your grade above), I'd say you're an B+ (GPA of 3.6, I used this site to determine GPA and average grade, as based on the grades I assessed above). You definitely bring a lot to the RP, and you post continuations and contributions to the overall story of the RP that make you a wonderful addition to the entire experience. There still a few things that you could improve on, but you already display wonderful ability.
(based on the sample as I read it at 5:34 AM central time)
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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:57 am
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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 4:09 am
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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:28 pm
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endinglight Okay! Now that the first grade card is written up, I WANT CRITIQUE! How did I do? do you agree with my grading? Any questions? Anyone else want me to assess a sampling of your RolePlaying ability? Also I think if people want to be "reassessed" then I'm going to charge a 1000 Gaia Gold Fee. The first assessment will be free, but after that, I want to be paid for my services, because as you can see above; I spent a good amount of time on this, and I'm fairly in depth in my assessment.
Well, allow me to go into detail of my rp.
endinglight -I have no idea what CCS, stands for, but I assume it's the initials for the pro-alcohol team name, and might even have something to do with the names of the wrestlers, "Celt" and "Crysis" but I have no clue what the "S" stands for... Though again I realize this is just a sampler and I wouldn't want to have to read something much longer in order to know everything about this RP's details. You know, because I'm lazy.
CCS stands for Completely Crooked Society.
endinglight -Is this "Max Alfonso" character an announcer, just a fan of the anti-alcohol team, good personal friend with said team, what? I realize that this is only a small sample, but I'm just sharing my thoughts with you as I analyze it. So you might understand what goes through the mind of 3rd parties who read your RP. ^^
Max Alfonso is the ring announcer for Xtreme Online Wrestling, along with someone else who's name escapes me.
endinglight -I'm not familiar with the terms "RKO" and "Mic Check".
They are wrestling move names. The RKO is when someone jumps in the air, grabbing the standing opponent's head and bringing him down. The Mic Check is a move which involves the person standing next to the opponent, facing the opposite direction as the opponent,one arm on the far shoulder, one leg interlocked with the close leg of the opponent. The person falls backward, the opponent landing on his face.
endinglight Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:41 am You know what I'll go ahead and grade you like I would, if the school get's approved. Probably best to show that I my self am competent, kind of a way of showing my own qualifications XP So I'll grade what you've shown on the 5 potential areas (added a new area while grading) I mention... though those may not be the exact areas that you will be assessed on when the and if the school does open... Also best to say it before hand, but I have very little knowledge on the subject of style wrestling. I was a high school wrestler (we use collegiate wrestling style rules and scoring...) for a good four years, of which I wrestled varsity matches in all 4 years... (ego boost sorry for the pointless addition to the end of that sentence) READ THIS: The text in red below are just my thoughts and reactions that I have while I'm reading your sampler. The actual Grades will all be in bold and can be found at the bottom of the page more or less...)) Any way enough blather here's what I think about the little sampler you've shown me: -First off, I don't know enough about this "Welcome to the Masquerade" that you mention. I know of a song by that title, which it could be a song, considering how you were just talking about music (I assume that music was theme music intro type stuff), but looking further at the context it's also possible it's some kind of group of people... I'm not sure... Moving on. -I love the inclusion of the sign slogans, that's a wonderfully creative touch! -You have two sentences, "However, no one comes out. And instead, the..." that can either be a compound sentence, "...comes out, and the Titantron..." or two sentences, "...comes. Instead the Titantron....). Starting a sentence with "and" is a big "no no" when it comes to grammar. -I think you mean to say, "the Titantron turns to a...." rather than "into". Unless of course it's a transformer XP -Good use of imagery (imagery referring to details that allow the reader to better fully imagine a scene, including all five senses, and not just "what you see") in the first paragraph. -The line Celt says is a bit vague, enough so, that I'm not sure if he means that he just beat his competition to a bloody mess, or he's saying that no one is going to come see a match where his opponents are heavily injured... or what exactly... Though from context I'm rather sure it's the first one.... -From the sample you gave me, I'm not entirely sure what "Down to Nothing" is. I'm guessing it's the team name for the pair of wrestlers who were shown lying around in a bloody mess... -"Time Skip" is a bit tacky... maybe try "Later" or "Fast forward a few hours..." or even say what happened in the interim. An example of the last suggestion in the previous sentence would be, "After Andy and Jari arrived and..." etc. etc. (you'd know better what they did than I would). -The video was a nice little touch... but I do wonder, who is RPing with you? Are you controlling the Pro-Alcohol team too? -Is this "Max Alfonso" character an announcer, just a fan of the anti-alcohol team, good personal friend with said team, what? I realize that this is only a small sample, but I'm just sharing my thoughts with you as I analyze it. So you might understand what goes through the mind of 3rd parties who read your RP. ^^ -Time skip again... Though it is nice that you color coded it and and the words people speak. -The whole centered, black (text color, I notice the rest of it is grey... or maybe it's bolded? I dunno...) Speaker followed by a colon" for words directly spoken aloud is fine and a stylistic and grammatically appropriate choice. Though you may want to actually just use the tried and true method of, "(Character Name) *insert phrase of verb here, something like said, did such and such as he/she declared, etc.*, and then parenthesis, with the spoken statement/question/whatever, punctuation and ending parenthesis." I only say that because you've already got most of what you need (new paragraph like what you have, indented (accomplished with centering is fine XP), and spoken quotation by a character. XP), so it wouldn't be too had to make it "perfect" in terms of grammatical conventions... However it's also not a big deal and there are plenty of personal styles that work just fine, yours being a good one. -I have no idea what CCS, stands for, but I assume it's the initials for the pro-alcohol team name, and might even have something to do with the names of the wrestlers, "Celt" and "Crysis" but I have no clue what the "S" stands for... Though again I realize this is just a sampler and I wouldn't want to have to read something much longer in order to know everything about this RP's details. You know, because I'm lazy. -I'm not familiar with the terms "RKO" and "Mic Check". -It seems like you rush this last paragraph, and it also feels like the Pro-Alcohol fighters seem to: A. get drunk, not only within moments of winning, but it feels like within moments of consuming alcohol. I'm anything but an expert on the subject, but I'm fairly certain of a few things. Those being that people who drink chronically, like I'm sure the Pro-Alcohol guys would, tend to be able to consume larger quantities or alcohol before experiencing the effects to their full extent. Also it takes at least a little bit for alcohol to metabolize and start affecting you. (It doesn't just magically make you magically drunk just by touching the inside of your mouth. XP It takes a little bit of time.) B. The Pro-alcohol team really decided it was a good idea to just get roaring drunk in the ring... right after winning a match? They didn't want to shower or sit down or anything first? C. Outside of official sports like situations, violence (which I'm sure that's what the anti-alcohol team did, when you mention them doing things that leave the now drunken fighters "nearly unconscious"...) is not exactly legal. I assume this ring is in a highly public arena, potentially still filled to the brim with fans and spectators... So this could be grounds for an assault/battery charge. Though in hindsight, the implied beating to a bloody pulp that was aired on the Titantron earlier, isn't much better... -The entire last sentence is something makes no sense to me, and seams like something some of the potentially thousands of spectators (especially the pro-alcohol team's fans....) might be flooding the ring to stop... Not to mention might get said fighters disqualified by any sort of Official (like a referee...) who witnesses said action. Also Nicotine patches? What on earth is up with that? Not to mention the question of how on earth do you choke someone with a patch that is typically measured in size by inches or centimeters...
XoW in general is a lot different in it's storylines than WWE. WWE are PG while XoW kind of let it go from 14-18. Therefore, chocking and beating people isn't all too bad, long as you don't kill them. I wasn't too sure of the sizxe of patches, but I thought it would be a fun idea to choke a drug/alcohol based group with them. CCS are, in fact, a Beer loving team. They drink, before, possibly during XD, and of course, after a nice victory. Therefore, I think they would be drunk just about all the time.
endinglight -From the sample you gave me, I'm not entirely sure what "Down to Nothing" is. I'm guessing it's the team name for the pair of wrestlers who were shown lying around in a bloody mess...
Down to Nothing is the Straight Edge team myself and Cody Cameron had formed (named after a straight edge band nonetheless) Welcome to the Masquerade is our theme song.
Basically, most of the points you made about my rp do involve you not knowing what exactly I'm talking about. The people at my E-Fed of course know what the finishing moves are, they know the teams, and they've heard the themes. It wasn't your fault or mine, just th fault of lack of info.
About the grading process, I enjoy it. It's well put out and your critiques were not too mean, not too nice. |
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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:55 pm
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kingofjokers7 endinglight Okay! Now that the first grade card is written up, I WANT CRITIQUE! How did I do? do you agree with my grading? Any questions? Anyone else want me to assess a sampling of your RolePlaying ability? Also I think if people want to be "reassessed" then I'm going to charge a 1000 Gaia Gold Fee. The first assessment will be free, but after that, I want to be paid for my services, because as you can see above; I spent a good amount of time on this, and I'm fairly in depth in my assessment. Well, allow me to go into detail of my rp. endinglight -I have no idea what CCS, stands for, but I assume it's the initials for the pro-alcohol team name, and might even have something to do with the names of the wrestlers, "Celt" and "Crysis" but I have no clue what the "S" stands for... Though again I realize this is just a sampler and I wouldn't want to have to read something much longer in order to know everything about this RP's details. You know, because I'm lazy. CCS stands for Completely Crooked Society. endinglight -Is this "Max Alfonso" character an announcer, just a fan of the anti-alcohol team, good personal friend with said team, what? I realize that this is only a small sample, but I'm just sharing my thoughts with you as I analyze it. So you might understand what goes through the mind of 3rd parties who read your RP. ^^ Max Alfonso is the ring announcer for Xtreme Online Wrestling, along with someone else who's name escapes me. endinglight -I'm not familiar with the terms "RKO" and "Mic Check". They are wrestling move names. The RKO is when someone jumps in the air, grabbing the standing opponent's head and bringing him down. The Mic Check is a move which involves the person standing next to the opponent, facing the opposite direction as the opponent,one arm on the far shoulder, one leg interlocked with the close leg of the opponent. The person falls backward, the opponent landing on his face. endinglight Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:41 am You know what I'll go ahead and grade you like I would, if the school get's approved. Probably best to show that I my self am competent, kind of a way of showing my own qualifications XP So I'll grade what you've shown on the 5 potential areas (added a new area while grading) I mention... though those may not be the exact areas that you will be assessed on when the and if the school does open... Also best to say it before hand, but I have very little knowledge on the subject of style wrestling. I was a high school wrestler (we use collegiate wrestling style rules and scoring...) for a good four years, of which I wrestled varsity matches in all 4 years... (ego boost sorry for the pointless addition to the end of that sentence) READ THIS: The text in red below are just my thoughts and reactions that I have while I'm reading your sampler. The actual Grades will all be in bold and can be found at the bottom of the page more or less...)) Any way enough blather here's what I think about the little sampler you've shown me: -First off, I don't know enough about this "Welcome to the Masquerade" that you mention. I know of a song by that title, which it could be a song, considering how you were just talking about music (I assume that music was theme music intro type stuff), but looking further at the context it's also possible it's some kind of group of people... I'm not sure... Moving on. -I love the inclusion of the sign slogans, that's a wonderfully creative touch! -You have two sentences, "However, no one comes out. And instead, the..." that can either be a compound sentence, "...comes out, and the Titantron..." or two sentences, "...comes. Instead the Titantron....). Starting a sentence with "and" is a big "no no" when it comes to grammar. -I think you mean to say, "the Titantron turns to a...." rather than "into". Unless of course it's a transformer XP -Good use of imagery (imagery referring to details that allow the reader to better fully imagine a scene, including all five senses, and not just "what you see") in the first paragraph. -The line Celt says is a bit vague, enough so, that I'm not sure if he means that he just beat his competition to a bloody mess, or he's saying that no one is going to come see a match where his opponents are heavily injured... or what exactly... Though from context I'm rather sure it's the first one.... -From the sample you gave me, I'm not entirely sure what "Down to Nothing" is. I'm guessing it's the team name for the pair of wrestlers who were shown lying around in a bloody mess... -"Time Skip" is a bit tacky... maybe try "Later" or "Fast forward a few hours..." or even say what happened in the interim. An example of the last suggestion in the previous sentence would be, "After Andy and Jari arrived and..." etc. etc. (you'd know better what they did than I would). -The video was a nice little touch... but I do wonder, who is RPing with you? Are you controlling the Pro-Alcohol team too? -Is this "Max Alfonso" character an announcer, just a fan of the anti-alcohol team, good personal friend with said team, what? I realize that this is only a small sample, but I'm just sharing my thoughts with you as I analyze it. So you might understand what goes through the mind of 3rd parties who read your RP. ^^ -Time skip again... Though it is nice that you color coded it and and the words people speak. -The whole centered, black (text color, I notice the rest of it is grey... or maybe it's bolded? I dunno...) Speaker followed by a colon" for words directly spoken aloud is fine and a stylistic and grammatically appropriate choice. Though you may want to actually just use the tried and true method of, "(Character Name) *insert phrase of verb here, something like said, did such and such as he/she declared, etc.*, and then parenthesis, with the spoken statement/question/whatever, punctuation and ending parenthesis." I only say that because you've already got most of what you need (new paragraph like what you have, indented (accomplished with centering is fine XP), and spoken quotation by a character. XP), so it wouldn't be too had to make it "perfect" in terms of grammatical conventions... However it's also not a big deal and there are plenty of personal styles that work just fine, yours being a good one. -I have no idea what CCS, stands for, but I assume it's the initials for the pro-alcohol team name, and might even have something to do with the names of the wrestlers, "Celt" and "Crysis" but I have no clue what the "S" stands for... Though again I realize this is just a sampler and I wouldn't want to have to read something much longer in order to know everything about this RP's details. You know, because I'm lazy. -I'm not familiar with the terms "RKO" and "Mic Check". -It seems like you rush this last paragraph, and it also feels like the Pro-Alcohol fighters seem to: A. get drunk, not only within moments of winning, but it feels like within moments of consuming alcohol. I'm anything but an expert on the subject, but I'm fairly certain of a few things. Those being that people who drink chronically, like I'm sure the Pro-Alcohol guys would, tend to be able to consume larger quantities or alcohol before experiencing the effects to their full extent. Also it takes at least a little bit for alcohol to metabolize and start affecting you. (It doesn't just magically make you magically drunk just by touching the inside of your mouth. XP It takes a little bit of time.) B. The Pro-alcohol team really decided it was a good idea to just get roaring drunk in the ring... right after winning a match? They didn't want to shower or sit down or anything first? C. Outside of official sports like situations, violence (which I'm sure that's what the anti-alcohol team did, when you mention them doing things that leave the now drunken fighters "nearly unconscious"...) is not exactly legal. I assume this ring is in a highly public arena, potentially still filled to the brim with fans and spectators... So this could be grounds for an assault/battery charge. Though in hindsight, the implied beating to a bloody pulp that was aired on the Titantron earlier, isn't much better... -The entire last sentence is something makes no sense to me, and seams like something some of the potentially thousands of spectators (especially the pro-alcohol team's fans....) might be flooding the ring to stop... Not to mention might get said fighters disqualified by any sort of Official (like a referee...) who witnesses said action. Also Nicotine patches? What on earth is up with that? Not to mention the question of how on earth do you choke someone with a patch that is typically measured in size by inches or centimeters... XoW in general is a lot different in it's storylines than WWE. WWE are PG while XoW kind of let it go from 14-18. Therefore, chocking and beating people isn't all too bad, long as you don't kill them. I wasn't too sure of the sizxe of patches, but I thought it would be a fun idea to choke a drug/alcohol based group with them. CCS are, in fact, a Beer loving team. They drink, before, possibly during XD, and of course, after a nice victory. Therefore, I think they would be drunk just about all the time. endinglight -From the sample you gave me, I'm not entirely sure what "Down to Nothing" is. I'm guessing it's the team name for the pair of wrestlers who were shown lying around in a bloody mess... Down to Nothing is the Straight Edge team myself and Cody Cameron had formed (named after a straight edge band nonetheless) Welcome to the Masquerade is our theme song. Basically, most of the points you made about my rp do involve you not knowing what exactly I'm talking about. The people at my E-Fed of course know what the finishing moves are, they know the teams, and they've heard the themes. It wasn't your fault or mine, just th fault of lack of info. About the grading process, I enjoy it. It's well put out and your critiques were not too mean, not too nice.
Most excellent, I'm glad you find my grades reasonable, and of course I knew that those you were RPing with would know those details I wasn't sure of. There were so many comments about things I didn't know, because I was typing what I was thinking. The fact that I didn't know those details didn't affect my grading, and the fact that most of my guesses seemed to be right, or at least close to right, means that you most certainly earned that "A" in effectiveness/comprehension. XD |
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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 8:07 pm
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Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:43 pm
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