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 Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 1:02 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:57 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 5:22 pm
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Allegro Sammirah Exxos I am not even sure what I am doing anymore. I feel out of place as I never seem to have anything to contribute to anything these days. welcome to adulthood. don't worry, very few people are actually as useless as they think they are. -hugs- I'm one of them! mrgreen
i know, dear. now why don't you go run along and reorganize the peanuts? |
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 5:23 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 5:35 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 6:57 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 7:01 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 7:54 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 7:59 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:04 pm
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Exxos Camwen Exxos I am not even sure what I am doing anymore. I feel out of place as I never seem to have anything to contribute to anything these days. Do you mean in the guild specifically or life in general? Does it help to know that I feel like that sometimes too and I don't even have the excuse of having to live in your type of situation at home. Every facet of my life. And no, it does not make me feel better as being this way in my situation would be just that, an excuse. I am a supplier away from falling off the wagon again.
Aww...Exxos...you just have to look at your life a little harder...everyone contributes to situations in their lives in their own way. You just have to step back and look at the great things you`ve done, then give yourself a little credit. Remember...life isn`t all about give or take...it`s a bit of both. Right now I`m kinda feeling how you`re feeling (I think) in regards to giving back to my girlfriend for all she`s done for me. |
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:15 pm
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Camwen humble_gypsy_traveller Again, I feel I should explain myself...I tend to back out of heated situations if I can help it in joyous or intimate situations. Though I just can't seem to stand it when a person feels they need to belittle other people to make themselves feel better...at times that's just too much for me. I haven't had the need to tell someone where to go in the AGA because we have a group of well meaning people. I have to say that you hold a good ship. With people that have mental deficiencies...there are those that just can't help what they're going through...then there are those that use their deficiency as an excuse to be a sorry jackass...those I weed out, can't stand and tell where to go. Funny thing...after they've been put in their place...they still want to be a friend. I know, I know, they may have not been aware of what just went on...but like I said (in carefully chosen situations), I feel that I need to tell them where to go. I'm not sure I understood that first part. Are you saying that even if a situation is a happy one, if it gets to a certain level of intimacy you feel uncomfortable? Like if someone close to you gets really emotional? Or did I interpret that wrong. As for reacting when someone belittles someone else - in most cases it seems reasonable to call them out on it. But maybe you see yourself as being more sensitive to that than the the average person? You probably did the people that used their mental deficiency as an excuse to be rude a favor by calling them on it. They most likely just learned they could get away with it because everyone else let them be that way. And it was harder for them play that card with you as opposed to someone with no health issues.
What I meant was I can`t stand it when someone has to go and ruin a happy and intimate gathering by being a jackass (i.e - they`ve drank too much and decide to either: make the occasion about them, attempt to embarrass someone else in the joyous occasion or otherwise). However I tend to step back if I don`t know the (dumbass) person or I don`t know the crowd well, etc. |
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:34 am
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humble_gypsy_traveller Exxos Allegro Nurse's outfits are not optimal for nut reorganization. Yes, the mini-skirts tend to allow one's nuts to get perpetually re-jumbled as they do not provide proper support and nut discipline. OMG! Exxos! Your look just gave me a GREAT idea for a new look (well a future look) for me!!! You`re soo good!
You're welcome. 3nodding The one problem with it is because it is the face version of the mask, you can't put much around the chin because it will appear on top of the mask. |
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:21 am
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humble_gypsy_traveller Aww...Exxos...you just have to look at your life a little harder...everyone contributes to situations in their lives in their own way. You just have to step back and look at the great things you`ve done, then give yourself a little credit. Remember...life isn`t all about give or take...it`s a bit of both. Right now I`m kinda feeling how you`re feeling (I think) in regards to giving back to my girlfriend for all she`s done for me.
My life is on the rocks. I feel lost and hopeless because it seems that life is passing me by and all I am left with is a bleak expanse without a discernible future. A lot of the strength I have had in the past, that I always tended to discount when people told me I had it, has started failing me and I am really feeling it. I used to be able to deal with a lot at once, now a single thing happens and I start breaking down – i.e.; I start losing it within 15 minutes of waking up instead of hours.
Then I try to escape into something, anything. I come here and I do not feel comfortable or that I have anything to contribute. I talk with my friends and I do not feel comfortable or that I have anything to contribute. I try to talk about what I am going through but do not want to be "emo" or "depressing" and don't get the support I need when I do break down and just let it out. I try to write or draw or paint and it all comes out garbage and frustrating, awful failures.
Plus my parents have seized upon a facet that has been in me for years, comparing me to my friends. How much better they are than me, how much more successful, healthy, accomplished... How they aren't failures... How they can have things I never will. I've always had that jealousy of my friends, that envy... But I always, secretly in my heart, tried to tell myself that, for whatever reason, they wanted me in their lives, no matter how huge a failure I was, so I poured even more into friendships, lost myself even more, and became the wretched thing I am today. I realize that I am a huge failure because I have completely failed myself.
As for falling off the wagon, my doctor won't even let me have access to pain killers in more than 10 pills per year, with stipulation that I can get more if I use them for a kidney stone, because I am an addiction and suicide by overdose risk. The chances of me finding my drug of choice is far, far less. But as I deal with the abuse and the depression, I know that no matter how long I stay clean, I'll always be an addict. My body is literally starving for it, demanding it, even though it has been years now.
Sorry for blathering on, I should not have said anything or, at the least, put it over in the whining sub-forum. |
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:08 am
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