Welcome to Gaia! ::

I met this guy at a club in March, was just chatting to him for a bit and ended up spending a bit of time scoring (making out with) him, he wanted my number and he text me later that morning when we got in, texted a bit, went on date, went on another date, realised we were friends, and now we've been friends for quite some time.

Here are the important bits to this:
1. He's now one of my really good friends
2. I recently decided I like him as more than a friend, quite a bit, but I know for my health and self esteem it would not be a good idea to date him, I just want him to want me and not other girls, and benefits, and date him.
3. He's in love with his ex girlfriend still, who he dumped and also did a range of really, really mean things to although he never cheated, he did send her in the direction of anorexia with his obsession with image perfection, commenting on her weight and perfecting her. He often comments on girls' appearances when we are out and highlights what he considers as flaws in their appearance.
4. He's shallow and deep, as in he's shallow in that I get texts about what I think of his eyebrows or what shape do I consider his face on random occasions, he gets with a lot of girls for "practice" and really, really is disgusted by fat girls, and his definition of fat begins at just over a UK size 10. He's deep in that he's emotional although he tries to hide it from people that aren't his close friends, he's very intellegent, I can have really interesting conversations with him and it's a very... intimate friendship, we share a lot.
5. After about a month of being his friend I became very conscious of my body, I've started eating a lot less and cutting sugary foods out of my diet. I've gone to the gym and ran two hours on a treadmill the day after going out on a binge eat. But then I've also started to put a lot more effort into clearing up my skin, improving my image and having a very healthy and nutritious diet. When he comments on my legs being skinny I feel very flattered and I like to think I reach his high standards, yet sometimes he makes comments about how this or that has improved a lot, but in a way that implies he considered it a noticable flaw before, such as things like "your foundation matches your neck now!" or " you're dressed a lot better".
6. As a result of my change in diet I think of food a lot, I calorie count almost everything I eat, I feel very guilty about eating sugary food, I don't have the happy energy I used to and it's affecting my friendships, recently when I've been with my friends around sugary foods I want to take my sister's advice (which in the past has majority of the time proved to be what's best) and just cut him out of my life, yet when I get a text from him I'm elated and I really enjoy his company.
7. I have zilch all else going on with other guys that aren't definitely just friends.
8. I tell him a lot more than anyone else about my diet, he also makes comments to me about making sure I drink lots of water, get enough protein and stuff like that, if I mention something like "I'm eating roughly 1200 calories a day" he won't tell me to let loose or relax, he'll encourage me to eat 1500 calories a day.

So from this, cut him out of my life (might seem like the obvious option) or keep him in my life (considering he's a really good friend of mine, I really enjoy his company, he's pretty much the only drama going on in my male social life at all and I also have started to think of him as more than a friend, also I can hardly say "You've made me really image obsessed and weight conscious and changed me" when he has never called me fat and has discouraged very unhealthy dieting)?

Has he changed you into someone you like, or someone you don't?

To be honest, parts of your post really worry me. It sounds almost co-dependent. Things like "I just want him to want me and not other girls" and "when I get a text from him I'm elated and I really enjoy his company." just worry me because it doesn't sound healthy to be so reliant on this one relationship.

The two options you presented don't really cover the whole spectrum. Yes, you could cut him out of your life if you want, but somehow I don't think that'll solve all the body image problems. It sounds like those stem from low self-esteem. If your opinion of yourself was higher in the first place, then you probably wouldn't be so affected by his comments. Still, cutting out bad influences is probably a good way to start resolving those deeper issues.

Yeah, he sounds kind of like a terrible person. It's nice that he's gotten you to improve some of your habits and hygiene, but he sounds like he's incredibly controlling and unpleasant. It seems to me that maybe if you start doing something that doesn't meet his "high standards", he would be a complete d**k to you until you changed yourself to exactly what he wants. That s**t just isn't healthy.

I seriously don't think he's good for you. All girls deserve to have someone who loves them for who they are, not what they think a woman should be. Right now, he's changing you in ways that seem positive (though with dark undertones), but if he gets away with that, who knows where he'll stop? People like that are terrible for a person's self-esteem, which imo it sounds like you don't have much of to begin with.

I'm going to say that this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. And honestly, even though this is all completely up to you, it sounds like you know that he's a bad influence but you're afraid to make that call by yourself.

dude, boy or girl, if someone made me feel self conscious and bad about myself and body i would not want to be their friend.

but he is a guy and he sounds like too much of a douche that I don't care much for his good qualities.