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| do you like it? |
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66% |
[ 2 ] |
| no |
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| hi |
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33% |
[ 1 ] |
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| Total Votes : 3 |
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 Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:18 pm
this is the intro to my book. it has no name yet. i would enjoy to have some help with that.give advice and help me with this please.
INTRO....
The forest is a danerous place. expecially a forest like this one. The forest location is unknown to mortals , they don't even know it exists. there are rumors of people going in and never coming out. It's all true, any moral who goes in meets the most terrifing creature in exsistence. This creature has no name so it is called the nothing, the nothing is a terrifing creature with it's three heads and a lizard tail. This nothing can eat 20 mortals for breakfast and not think anything of it, however this forest has good creaures also, such the Elfin tribe , the centeur herd , the wizards and witches and so much more. Not all are good the owner of the nothing is a man so dangoous so powerful , his name damion. many are afraid to even speek such a name, the forest it self is magical let no one in until that day when.....
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:34 am
You need a title? Can't help you there, my main story's title is still sorta in the works... and I've been working with it for a couple years now... -sigh-
However, onto the actual intro.
This kind of an opener could be used by anybody, quite honestly. So write now, I'm not extremely interested in what you're writing. BUT, continue and go on further with your story, and that changes. Because as you get further with your ideas, you start to develop a story that's different from any other.
So basically all I'm saying is: Keep going.
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 2:49 pm
Scipio243 You need a title? Can't help you there, my main story's title is still sorta in the works... and I've been working with it for a couple years now... -sigh- However, onto the actual intro. This kind of an opener could be used by anybody, quite honestly. So write now, I'm not extremely interested in what you're writing. BUT, continue and go on further with your story, and that changes. Because as you get further with your ideas, you start to develop a story that's different from any other. So basically all I'm saying is: Keep going. thank you biggrin
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Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 9:57 pm
I'm sorry.. I had to.. thomlina INTRO.... The forest is a dangerous place. Especially a forest like this one. The forest location is unknown to mortals, they don't even know it exists. There are rumors of people going in and never coming out. It's all true, any mor tal who goes in meets the most terrifying creature in existence. This creature has no name so it is called the nothing, the nothing is a terrifying creature with it's three heads and a lizard s tail. This nothing can eat 20 mortals for breakfast and not think anything of it, however this forest has good creatures also, such the Elfin tribe , the centaur herd , the wizards and witches and so much more. Not all are good . The owner of the nothing is a man so dangerous and so powerful . His name Damion. Many are afraid to even speak such a name, the forest itself is magical and will let no one in until that day when..... Red is all the spelling mistakes, and we all make those. Purple is grammar related. Capitalization of words at the beginning of the sentence mainly. The other purple bits were me thinking it would sound better with the additional words, but given that English is not my first language, you want to get one of our grammar experts to help you out with that. Keep writing though, you'll improve with each bit of writing you do and I'd love to see where this is going.
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Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 6:48 am
Nefas Fatum I'm sorry.. I had to.. thomlina INTRO.... The forest is a dangerous place. Especially a forest like this one. The forest location is unknown to mortals, they don't even know it exists. There are rumors of people going in and never coming out. It's all true, any mor tal who goes in meets the most terrifying creature in existence. This creature has no name so it is called the nothing, the nothing is a terrifying creature with it's three heads and a lizard s tail. This nothing can eat 20 mortals for breakfast and not think anything of it, however this forest has good creatures also, such the Elfin tribe , the centaur herd , the wizards and witches and so much more. Not all are good . The owner of the nothing is a man so dangerous and so powerful . His name Damion. Many are afraid to even speak such a name, the forest itself is magical and will let no one in until that day when..... Red is all the spelling mistakes, and we all make those. Purple is grammar related. Capitalization of words at the beginning of the sentence mainly. The other purple bits were me thinking it would sound better with the additional words, but given that English is not my first language, you want to get one of our grammar experts to help you out with that. Keep writing though, you'll improve with each bit of writing you do and I'd love to see where this is going. thank you for correcting this. i am horrible with my enlish spelling. thank you again. biggrin
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