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To be or not to be, to write the right?

Pained Eyes - P -

Good?

Yes

100%

[ 3 ]

[ 0 ]

Total Votes : 3

ExileDeath
Captain

2,450 Points

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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:53 pm

Pained Eyes
Don’t try and see,
Through these pained eyes.
Close your own,
Blind to the lies.

Why do you continue to try and look,
Through this mist of falsities.
Your hope they took,
The Governments prophecies.

Don’t try and see,
Through these pained eyes.
Blood filled sea,
The oceans rise.

Hold close to me.
I did wrong,
For my country.
A reapers song.

Writers note-
I wrote this after 9/11

Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:02 pm

this is very good. the only thing i have to say is that the second verse seems a little big compared to the others. but that is not a huge problem so yea, nice job. ^_^

x Solo Lobo x

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ExileDeath
Captain

2,450 Points

Offline

Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:09 pm

x Solo Lobo x

this is very good. the only thing i have to say is that the second verse seems a little big compared to the others. but that is not a huge problem so yea, nice job. ^_^

Thank you so much ^_^