Welcome to Gaia! ::

So, there's been quite a bit of drama going around recently, eh? But where has Air been? Well, doing what Air does best; lurking in the shadows, gathering information that'll give her a clear understanding at how s**t hit the fan in the first place.

Now, I'll tell you. When I first saw the kickings and then bannings, I too thought, is Tary really abusing her powers? I mean, it was just the way things so secretive, and cold. But if I just took it as that, I wouldn't be solving the problem, because I was only seeing one side of the story.

I took in information, asking people what's been going on. After a bit of prying, I started to see the bigger picture. About how Tary's appearently been told to do such things. Whether true or not, at the time that was a lead in the right direction. Why? Well, because I had also seen the thread she had made about wanting to step down because of various issues. I also remembered how she was being hurt by others cause of earlier actions. It's the case with any leadership, sometimes you have to make decisions that aren't exactly friendly.

It was at this point I knew that I had to talk to Tary. Because I knew this wasn't some plot of hers to kill the guild. I mean, if she really wanted to destroy the guild, there are so many other things that she could do to destroy it. Hell, I could even cause a bit of that havoc if I wanted to.

No, what was wrong was exactly as it seems. Tary was under a lot of pressure, and, although she can be a great leader, there was a bit of distrust in her. And recently, her actions only dug her deeper. The bannings, her deleting threads, hiding and seemingly being rude. But why?

She was hurt. She's human, just like anyone of you. Nad saw this and I could see what would have happened from there. Nad could have seen this as being a larger issue than it was. As though these small dramas were tearing the guild apart. But were they? He was getting a lot of this picture from a distraught Tary. The best solution he saw was to remove what he saw as a large threat to the guild. However, where did that lead us? To a more serious drama, one that only caused a larger backlash towards Tary.

Could you imagine Tary going to Nad now. Nad would ask her, who's upsetting her now. She could very well answer, the entire guild! Would that lead Nad to nuking the entire guild over a misunderstanding?

That's what all of this is. A huge misunderstanding. No one's truly at fault. Is Tary a bad leader? No. Would someone else do a better job? At some points, yes, but there is no perfect leader. Where Tary is great, another will fail, and where that other will be great, Tary will fail. And those opinions will vary from person to person. Their are those out there who will look at Tary and think she's the perfect leader, while others will think she's the worst ever, and incapable of thought. You can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time.

Where does that put us now? Well, as I said, I spoke with Tary. She thanked me for talking to her in a civil and adult manner. She isn't trying to make enemies. She isn't trying to rule over this guild with an iron fist. She doesn't even want to lead this guild anymore because all it's bringing her is misery. But she doesn't really have that option right now. So I told her that I'm always here. And that I'll make a thread, this thread, to set things right.

How? Simple. We need to start over. On the right foot. It does seem that Tary started off on the wrong foot, and over time it has led to this. Can this be fixed? Only if you make it happen. This is a guild - a family. And although Tary isn't in the right state to lead at the moment, there are others in this guild who can help you with the same things. It isn't fair to hate her, and berate her.

I've asked her to invite Liz and King back to the guild - which she has. She wants to fix this, but the only way for things to be right again is with everyone's co-operation. "...ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country"

All I ask of you is to stop blaming eachother for problems in the guild. Be part of the solution, and remember we all have feelings. Even Air. Although Air's feelings are all about Shiraz, that's why she's so chill as many of you have pointed out to me lately while saying that I should lead. Air doesn't need power to lead. Neither do you. Lead by example.

So we act like we are all friends again? like nothing happened? and that she didnt all hurt us?

I know nobody is going to forgive me 100%, and Il accept that. I let my feelings overcome me and I got ugly, which isn't very leaderlike of me at all. I guess Im a bit too emotional >.>

I am very very sorry for what I have done though, I look back and think "Wow, thats not very Tary like." I snapped, I really did. When I tried just brushing off all the nagging, I got blaimed for "ignoring the situation". I just didn't want to cry or have a fit because of something on the internet, thats silly, but it all did get to me outside the monitor.

Runescape and this guild used to be my little escape from my real life, where I could go and cut trees while making perverted jokes with my friends, then it started to feel like work. I would take a deep sarcastic breath before entering the forum.

At this point, I am not sure if I am quitting or what. I think Ive tried quitting 3 times now? I even undressed my avi, hoping to switch accounts, blocked myself from the clan chat and so on. But the few friends I kept in here through all this, made me just want to come back, not really as a leader, but as a friend. But by the looks of it, I think Im at least stuck with the vice captian title. >.>. I do want to help the guild, but remember, Im not the only one who can do "moddly" changes. Sure Im the most active when it comes to the more higher up guys, but we also have a great crew if for some reason you cannot get through to me. Am I saying stress them out instead of me? No. But I do think together, we can make this guild great. Im not the only one who can make changes. We all can. And if Im sticking around, Im not going to let some invisible force control me and you guys, thats just silly. Nobody likes ghosts. They are spooky.

I am sorry Lizzy and the rest of the guild. I have really let you down. Im not really sure how I thought banning who was hurting me most would fix the problem, just made those who were somewhat there for me dissapear. Like Ive stated before, this was a d**k move on my part.

And Lizzy, I forgive you. I know you had good intentions.

Hmmm.

As promised

It's over!!!

I forgive you Taryn, I let my feelings get to me too, somewhat. I guess I exaggerated a little and forgot that you had feelings to be hurt too. It's just that this has been my home for nearly 2 years if not very close to, and I didn't want such a sudden change. Sorry from my part too, I hope we can start over. Plus, what good is fighting when you can love. heart

Another thing,

I love you guys like a fat kid loves cake

even if you don't forgive me or even acknowledge my existance anymore.

I want some cake.