|
|
| Be gentle with this poem... it's one of my favorites from a few years ago... |
|
|
| Total Votes : 5 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:53 pm
To like you is a sin...
But to love you is human.
Your hair is the color of enflamed passion
Your skin is like the sensual lily,
And you are just as beautiful.
Lips like a tantalizing peach draw me in,
And leave me wishing for their soft caress.
Your voice is the morning,
Gentle and full of life.
Your song draws me in,
And soothes away my woes.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 6:13 pm
I really like the descriptive language you use in this poem. It flows, and I find myself going back to read it over again. I find myself agreeing with your beginning: to love is human. I think that your body and conclusion are melodical. I would love to read more!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 6:45 pm
Awww thanks! This piece actually wasn't supposed to be done like this. I had some lines in my head for a larger poem to write so I wrote them down in my creative writing journal to come back to later. Low and behold, my creative writing teacher liked it as is and told me that I better not dare change it! LOL I may write a larger and more elaborate poem based off of this one at some point though. ^_^
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 7:02 pm
Hmm.... Well, if you do make it longer, I 'd love to read it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
