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What I know of Lolita is fairly limited, but the origins of it seem to be fairly deeply rooted within its practitioners as not just another frillly dress, but to extend that beauty and grace to refined ethics and behavior, as well, emphasizing the feminine as it once was. Anything less seems jarring and inconguous against the overall aesthetic and philosophy.

But, with every unique look and sub-culture, there is an eventual and perhaps inevitable fashion-world bleed-over, and I think this is no less true of Lolita than it has been for other sub-cultures. People see there's money to be made somewhere, and thus things go commercial, making it somehow more accessible for the coarser types. For those who like the fashion, the commercialized look may appeal more than the lifestyle it was adopted from, because the process divorces the look from the philosophy it was meant to represent. Fashion becomes merely fashion, and often does not come with the rules that were formerly attached. Still, the lifestyle is there, and still has its followers. What results is this precise sort of conflict.

Personally, I'm not terribly fond of corruption of higher ideals, and to my mind, if one chooses to dress a certain way, one's behavior should reflect it as well. Ordinary clothing does not create the impression that extraordinary behavior should follow, but extraordinary dress does create that impression and that expectation in others, or the wearer runs the risk of being considered superficial and not to be taken any too seriously as a person. People are judged by how they look as well as how they conduct themselves, and if rude, brash people stump about dressed as Lolitas, it casts the Lolitas who do follow the ethos in a very bad light, and others will unfairly judge them harshly for it, based on the thus corrupted reputation of the style. Society in general has rules that must be followed, even in this post-modern world, and the polite are yet more acceptable company than the boors. Personally, I think people's efforts are always more suitably placed trying to find reasons to better themselves, not reasons to act inappropriately and harmfully. If they want to dress Lolita, they really should learn how to act it, too - or find something more superficial to amuse themselves with. Lolita may well be a sub-culture that others do not readily accept or appreciate, and the desire to ridicule and harass them in insidous ways is sadly extant in the crueler types, but it shouldn't be ruined for the innocents, either, by clueless and selfish people. Won't stand for that, and neither should anyone else. Social condemnation for bad behavior used to be the standard, and I think we're getting too lax these days. It should be revived.

I don't do Lolita, myself, as it has certain aspects that do not quite suit me or my preferences, but I really do admire how strong the Lolitas must be within themselves to buck the trends in this judgmental society and strive to regain the elegance of a lost world. What it says is that there's something gravely missing in the world these days, for such things to be pursued with such relentless determination. Maybe, one day, the rest of society will heed them and realize we're throwing off too much for civilation to stand if we continue in this vein for long. We either reclaim it, or we fall.

There is no cursing allowed in this guild. One warning point has been given.

To Mactabilis Lupus: Thanks! Like the fella whose name I've borrowed here, I can be something of an essayist when I get going on something, and life in general has turned me into something of a social philosopher. mrgreen

To gailn: I think I see where you're going with that - that some people do set the higher ideals, but don't always meet them in their daily behavior. I get that. Also, the pressure to conform with mainstream society can be very overwhelming, so it does take rather a lot to set aside the more mainstream behaviors. But the effort in the end to meet them can be sufficiently rewarding to make the journey a worthwhile one.

I think that if you choose to wear something such as Lolita than you should, at least to some extent, conduct yourself in a way the style begs for. I don't mean to say that the clothes "make the man", as it were, but that some clothes impose an openion on people. If you wear Lolita, for instance, then you should act as one did in the time from which the style was taken. Not to say one counld not act themselfs while wearing the style but one should not act as if they had no manners; but if it is from ignorance than they should not be wearing the style at all. That's what I belive however, I am a lifestyle Lolita and the conduct of the lifestyle is how I chose to act even before the style was thought.

Hee. Partly that. It's also partly trying to figure people out.

I think sometimes it is were you some from in Lolita, I like to do the maid dress up thing on a semi regular basis, but I don't act totally Lolie, when I do it. Some I know say I should act Lolie when I do it others say I should act in maid type, but I just act polite like me.

I personally say that it is a personal choice , thats it ,no more to it. I wouldn't go acting like a different person just because , but wearing loli dose reminde me to act like the person I want to be.