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| Should I ask her out? |
| Yes |
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58% |
[ 10 ] |
| Not at the moment |
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23% |
[ 4 ] |
| No |
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5% |
[ 1 ] |
| Idk/other/just here for the poll/etc.. |
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11% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 17 |
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 Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:26 am
Ok so there's this girl I REALLY like.. like I'm crazy over her. We do talk quite a bit at school, but never see each other outside school. We're not really good friends, but when we do talk, we get on really well, and sometimes she acts flirty towards me. But she hasn't been in school for ages so I thought she'd left. And I regretted never telling her how I feel. It turns out she was just off sick for a while, and I saw her today and we spoke for a bit.
I realised how much I'd regret it though if I never told her how I feel, but on the other hand, I really don't want her to stop speaking to me. This year's my last chance since I'm leaving school next year and I know we won't see each other out of school. I don't even know if she likes girls or guys!(I tried to bring it up once, but it made it weird between us and we didn't talk for a while because of the awkwardness). I dunno.. This whole situation's crazy. I need some opinions - should I tell her I like her or not?
Oh yeah.. add that to the fact that I've never been out with/kissed/etc anyone before and I've got no clue about dating. AND this is one of those mad crushes that go on for years.. Seriously.
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 12:00 pm
hmmm... this is how it was with my first crush. sadly, mine was slightly easier cuz she already knew i was gay and started acting bi for attention so she would've said yes. ok, the first thing you have to do WHICH IS INSANELY IMPORTANT is find out if she's bi/gay. in fact, it doesn't matter how you find out, but you need to be positive if she is or isn't, otherwise it'll get way more awkward when you do get around to asking her out.
after finding out, it should be really easy. you ask if she'd like to give the relationship a shot. once again, you need to know if she likes girls, because if she thinks you mean give being gay a shot, the reaction will be totally different and may result in a worse outcome for both of you, trust me. anyways, the asking out isn't that hard. in fact, sometimes girls love the shy ask. they think it's cute, so don't worry about that.
don't ask her out right now. you gotta find out if she likes girls in general before asking anything else, mkay.
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the_forgotten_thought Captain
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:12 pm
god, i know exactly what you're talking about. i'm in your shoes, dude. but i think if you guys are kinda close, maybe you can try getting closer? what class do you have together? maybe you can do a study thing or something? it sounds cheesy, but it could be cool. or maybe ask her to go to a movie? friends go to movies together all the time, and it'd be a cool way of getting to know eachother better without it getting too awkward. you can slip it in to a convo, say that a few friends are going or something. you can't always rely on the flirting, cos i've had some girls pull that and the next thing you know, they're all "oh, i'm straight" and then they go right on flirting wit hyou and then walk away with that guy that's totally not even... my bad, going off on a rant. but yea, you should try it out i guess? and if things go bad, at least you won't regret never telling her. only if you feel comfortable though, cos i don't have the courage to tell girls that i like them... did i help at all? i hope i did. sorry. =]
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:26 pm
Lost_Forever_Soul god, i know exactly what you're talking about. i'm in your shoes, dude. but i think if you guys are kinda close, maybe you can try getting closer? what class do you have together? maybe you can do a study thing or something? it sounds cheesy, but it could be cool. or maybe ask her to go to a movie? friends go to movies together all the time, and it'd be a cool way of getting to know eachother better without it getting too awkward. you can slip it in to a convo, say that a few friends are going or something. you can't always rely on the flirting, cos i've had some girls pull that and the next thing you know, they're all "oh, i'm straight" and then they go right on flirting wit hyou and then walk away with that guy that's totally not even... my bad, going off on a rant. but yea, you should try it out i guess? and if things go bad, at least you won't regret never telling her. only if you feel comfortable though, cos i don't have the courage to tell girls that i like them... did i help at all? i hope i did. sorry. =] Yeah, we actually never had a class together though, we just used to hang out in the art room working on our projects, so the whole study group thing.. we already did I guess. lol. I WOULD ask her to go somewhere as friends, but idk how to. As weird as that sounds, I've never even asked anyone to go out as friends. =/ But we are pretty close really. I mean we don't talk loads, but when we do, we never seem to disagree and the conversation just flows.. Idk about the flirting though. As far as I know she's never had a boyfriend. I'm pretty sure I'll tell her before I graduate or I'll always regret it.. About this time last year we stopped talking for ages after I tried to find out if she was gay/straight/whatever cos I just never knew how to ask her without sounding weird.
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:40 pm
Thorndrop Lost_Forever_Soul god, i know exactly what you're talking about. i'm in your shoes, dude. but i think if you guys are kinda close, maybe you can try getting closer? what class do you have together? maybe you can do a study thing or something? it sounds cheesy, but it could be cool. or maybe ask her to go to a movie? friends go to movies together all the time, and it'd be a cool way of getting to know eachother better without it getting too awkward. you can slip it in to a convo, say that a few friends are going or something. you can't always rely on the flirting, cos i've had some girls pull that and the next thing you know, they're all "oh, i'm straight" and then they go right on flirting wit hyou and then walk away with that guy that's totally not even... my bad, going off on a rant. but yea, you should try it out i guess? and if things go bad, at least you won't regret never telling her. only if you feel comfortable though, cos i don't have the courage to tell girls that i like them... did i help at all? i hope i did. sorry. =] Yeah, we actually never had a class together though, we just used to hang out in the art room working on our projects, so the whole study group thing.. we already did I guess. lol. I WOULD ask her to go somewhere as friends, but idk how to. As weird as that sounds, I've never even asked anyone to go out as friends. =/ But we are pretty close really. I mean we don't talk loads, but when we do, we never seem to disagree and the conversation just flows.. Idk about the flirting though. As far as I know she's never had a boyfriend. I'm pretty sure I'll tell her before I graduate or I'll always regret it.. About this time last year we stopped talking for ages after I tried to find out if she was gay/straight/whatever cos I just never knew how to ask her without sounding weird.
ah, okay. well, you can be like "hey, i heard ______ was coming out. it looks like a cool movie" or something like that? if she wants to go see it, you can suggest seeing it. i've never really asked anyone i liked to go anywhere, cos i think i'd freak out.
yea, it's not an easy thing to bring up. i mean, i can never tell if a girl likes guys or what, so it makes things uber complicated.
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 8:30 pm
Hm, you could always say something like.. "A bunch of friends are bringing different people to go out and see a movie, wanna come?" if you want to do a group thing to maybe make it easier for you??? If not, then yeah go with what Lost_Forever_Soul said and notify her of a good movie coming out.
Hopefully you get some sort of answer of whether or not she's into girls by the time you graduate! And try not to be too shy.. I know, easier said than done.. but if you just relax and not over worry.. things should just flow!
Gluck! =)
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 10:44 am
Megeegan Hm, you could always say something like.. "A bunch of friends are bringing different people to go out and see a movie, wanna come?" if you want to do a group thing to maybe make it easier for you??? If not, then yeah go with what Lost_Forever_Soul said and notify her of a good movie coming out. Hopefully you get some sort of answer of whether or not she's into girls by the time you graduate! And try not to be too shy.. I know, easier said than done.. but if you just relax and not over worry.. things should just flow! Gluck! =)
yea, that's what i was saying. it can never be too easy, but the more comfortable you feel, it should help. i have no experience in this, but i'm just speaking from what i think. nervousness can wreck things though. i have a tendency of blushing and mumbling like an idiot when i'm nervous. but hey, maybe she'll think that's cute? hehe, either way, have fun. you wanna make it so you can still be friends if things don't work out =]
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:06 am
Lost_Forever_Soul Megeegan Hm, you could always say something like.. "A bunch of friends are bringing different people to go out and see a movie, wanna come?" if you want to do a group thing to maybe make it easier for you??? If not, then yeah go with what Lost_Forever_Soul said and notify her of a good movie coming out. Hopefully you get some sort of answer of whether or not she's into girls by the time you graduate! And try not to be too shy.. I know, easier said than done.. but if you just relax and not over worry.. things should just flow! Gluck! =)
yea, that's what i was saying. it can never be too easy, but the more comfortable you feel, it should help. i have no experience in this, but i'm just speaking from what i think. nervousness can wreck things though. i have a tendency of blushing and mumbling like an idiot when i'm nervous. but hey, maybe she'll think that's cute? hehe, either way, have fun. you wanna make it so you can still be friends if things don't work out =]Thanks! I was thinking of asking her to go see a film or just hang out as friends anyway. But if I DO ask her out.. how do I do it so it won't ruin the friendship if she says no?
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:35 pm
Thorndrop Lost_Forever_Soul Megeegan Hm, you could always say something like.. "A bunch of friends are bringing different people to go out and see a movie, wanna come?" if you want to do a group thing to maybe make it easier for you??? If not, then yeah go with what Lost_Forever_Soul said and notify her of a good movie coming out. Hopefully you get some sort of answer of whether or not she's into girls by the time you graduate! And try not to be too shy.. I know, easier said than done.. but if you just relax and not over worry.. things should just flow! Gluck! =)
yea, that's what i was saying. it can never be too easy, but the more comfortable you feel, it should help. i have no experience in this, but i'm just speaking from what i think. nervousness can wreck things though. i have a tendency of blushing and mumbling like an idiot when i'm nervous. but hey, maybe she'll think that's cute? hehe, either way, have fun. you wanna make it so you can still be friends if things don't work out =]Thanks! I was thinking of asking her to go see a film or just hang out as friends anyway. But if I DO ask her out.. how do I do it so it won't ruin the friendship if she says no? Well, maybe at some point in time before/after/i dunno, explain that her answer is totally fine and you understand if she says no and you still really wish for the friendship to continue?
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Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 4:51 pm
Wow, we're both in the same bo@. It's a sucky bo@ to be in for sure. I like this girl from school, we're good friends and I've wanted to ask her out for a really long time but I care about her too much both as a friend and "more than a friend" to do th@. If I do ask and it happens it'll be the gre@est thing th@'s ever happened to me. If she says, no I'm afraid th@ I'll never be able to talk to her the same way again. Then again if I DIDN'T ask her I'd regret it the rest of my life. She's too gre@ NOT to ask... but too amazing to risk asking..
I can't tell if she likes me back or not either because she's kind of oblivious about it (I find th@ really cute) and she's a LOT more friendly to me than to anyone else. (It's not like she's not super-friendly already, she's just even MORE friendly to me.)
Also, I'm not she if she knows I like her either. I try to make it kind of obvious but like I said, she's kind of oblivious. sweatdrop So I want to tell her somehow so it's even MORE obvious when I'm flirting but.. Meh, I dunno. Not trying to steal this topic away from Thorndrop, just thought I'd throw it out there th@'s more people in the same situ@ion as you.
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the_forgotten_thought Captain
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:26 pm
with people, sometimes we have to wonder if they are honestly oblivious to people liking them. i like acting like i dunno when people like me (i honestly don't want a relationship right now is why) but then again, they may have a lot of stuff on their mind and it may not occur to them. the thing is, the person who wants them is forced to suffer wondering how they are supposed to react to such a thing!!!
ok, i'm gonna tell you my experience, but i'm not gonna give flat out advice, because i dont wanna be responsible if it doesn't work out...
i liked this girl... let's call her kelly (ok, that's her real name. i don't feel like making one up, though.) so kelly was the type of chick that was awesome: hyper, happy, GORGEOUS (or however it's spelled), smart- god, the list went on. WENT. just a bit of foreshadowing. anyways, i told her one day, "ever wonder what it's like to have a gay relationship?" and after twisting my words, i think i got her to think that she was bi. i didn't do that on purpose. i was actually prying to see if she were gay or anything. but yeah, plan 1 failed. however, because she called herself gay, that gave me the perfect opportunity to jump in and tell her that i liked her. but everyday, she acted so oblivious to my special treatment, extra hugs, etc. then, the day i finally decided to suck it up and flat out ask her out, she was asked out by a disgusting guy. grossly enough, she said yes.
ok, so after their relationship, i was completely turned off, she started to treat me special, i acted oblivious, she started cutting, i'm a horrible person. but she's still my friend.
so, this is basically telling you 1)find if their gay or not and 2)decided how to act after finding out their orientations. that's really all that can be said. you have to choose, so good luck with love, guys. you'll find it soon enough. and don't be afraid to blow it or miss an opportunity. life always goes on.
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:31 am
the_forgotten_thought with people, sometimes we have to wonder if they are honestly oblivious to people liking them. i like acting like i dunno when people like me (i honestly don't want a relationship right now is why) but then again, they may have a lot of stuff on their mind and it may not occur to them. the thing is, the person who wants them is forced to suffer wondering how they are supposed to react to such a thing!!! Oh god I totally agree. Especially when you are blantenly flirting with them and they still have no idea what's going on. I've done something SLIGHTLY similar to you acting like you don't know when people like you.. but not to slightly similar lol. I've ignored people and pretended they aren't near me/walking past me when I've gone out with people in the past. Had no idea why I did that.. but it kinda made them sad so I was like hmm... maybe not.
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the_forgotten_thought Captain
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 8:08 pm
Megeegan the_forgotten_thought with people, sometimes we have to wonder if they are honestly oblivious to people liking them. i like acting like i dunno when people like me (i honestly don't want a relationship right now is why) but then again, they may have a lot of stuff on their mind and it may not occur to them. the thing is, the person who wants them is forced to suffer wondering how they are supposed to react to such a thing!!! Oh god I totally agree. Especially when you are blantenly flirting with them and they still have no idea what's going on. I've done something SLIGHTLY similar to you acting like you don't know when people like you.. but not to slightly similar lol. I've ignored people and pretended they aren't near me/walking past me when I've gone out with people in the past. Had no idea why I did that.. but it kinda made them sad so I was like hmm... maybe not. i dunno. i think i did it so as to not lead them on. like, i wouldn't ignore them, but once they said anything having to do with "Loving me" like THAT and not just as a friend, i just kinda brushed them off. like, i'd say "i love ya too." but then start a conversation with someone else around. damn, for a while, i had to go without telling any of my friends i loved them just so that they wouldn't fall for me!!!! what i hated was that people liked me, or so i thought, as their experiment. like, once they thought they were bi/gay, they immediatly looked at me to like, because i'm the only definate lesbian of my friends... now, if they actually had deep feelings for me, maybe i'd'a been different. but i didn't think they did, and i was not about to make things awkward.
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 11:00 pm
i don't like ignoring people, and it's not like anyone likes me anyway xD but if i see a guy staring or if he's flirty with me, i try not to acknowledge it. i hate when my mum's all "that boy was staring at Carla, and she doesn't even know he exists. poor thing... bla bla bla" and i'm all, mum, i doubt it, and dude, he's not my type. x]
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 8:48 pm
the_forgotten_thought Megeegan the_forgotten_thought with people, sometimes we have to wonder if they are honestly oblivious to people liking them. i like acting like i dunno when people like me (i honestly don't want a relationship right now is why) but then again, they may have a lot of stuff on their mind and it may not occur to them. the thing is, the person who wants them is forced to suffer wondering how they are supposed to react to such a thing!!! Oh god I totally agree. Especially when you are blantenly flirting with them and they still have no idea what's going on. I've done something SLIGHTLY similar to you acting like you don't know when people like you.. but not to slightly similar lol. I've ignored people and pretended they aren't near me/walking past me when I've gone out with people in the past. Had no idea why I did that.. but it kinda made them sad so I was like hmm... maybe not. i dunno. i think i did it so as to not lead them on. like, i wouldn't ignore them, but once they said anything having to do with "Loving me" like THAT and not just as a friend, i just kinda brushed them off. like, i'd say "i love ya too." but then start a conversation with someone else around. damn, for a while, i had to go without telling any of my friends i loved them just so that they wouldn't fall for me!!!! what i hated was that people liked me, or so i thought, as their experiment. like, once they thought they were bi/gay, they immediatly looked at me to like, because i'm the only definate lesbian of my friends... now, if they actually had deep feelings for me, maybe i'd'a been different. but i didn't think they did, and i was not about to make things awkward. Hmm yeah, it's weird whenever someone is thinking of experimenting or has recently 'come out' and they immediately go to the only person they know who is out in hope to get with them. Especially if they aren't serious about it! One of the girls in my year at school felt like experimenting a while back, so she all of a sudden started talking to me and I was like ....uhhhhh kay bye lol
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