This story was entered in a contest, and so was timed.
It ended up winning 1st place for my grade level in my county.
Critique or read as you like
She had known Lance for a while now; at least since the Shadow Guard had taken control of the city and their hope, but she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
Her name was Lydia, she was 17 years old, and she was an elf. She lived in the city of Balnoras, which had been the last hope against Durrahn, the wielder of Death’s Eyes. He had taken over Pharincx with little opposition until he came to the main city, but now that he had taken over, all hope seemed lost. Lydia was seeing proof otherwise.
“What?” she asked, wondering if she had heard correctly.
“I am not an elf. I am a dragon wolf, a race charged with guarding the world”, explained Lance. “I’ve been disguising myself in a mortal form to hide, but now the time has come to free the city.”
“The city is a hopeless cause, attempting to free it would be suicide!”
“We’re not out of hope yet, and I am much stronger than I have revealed. The release of the extra energy will lure the Shadow Guard. They’ll be here any minute to-” He paused. “Speak of the devil!”
The shadows on the walls of the room they were in took human shapes and molded into three dimensional forms. When the transformation was finished, they looked like silhouettes of soldiers, complete with swords, shields, and obviously plated armor. They started moving towards Lance and Lydia, but Lance had a surprise of his own.
Lance began to change shape, slowly leaning over as his fingers receded and his mouth stretched to a muzzle. His shoulder blades extended and, as the skin ripped through his shirt, turned blue and formed leathery dragon wings. His ears crawled up his head and triangulated, forming those of a wolf. A tail crawled out of the back of his pants like a snake, and his clothes became fur and spread as he became a quadruped. He ended as a blue wolf with dragon wings, scattered scales on his back, and an oddly intelligent face.
Before any of the Shadow Guard could react, he knocked Lydia onto his back and jumped out a window with her.
Outside, the city looked strangely peaceful for an enslaved area. None of the lanterns were lit, and so the moon created a perfect twilight. The buildings around were all stone with wooden roofs. Most of them were one story, but three or four of them had two. The path that Lance landed on was cobblestone, in desperate need of repair from the Guard’s marching.
The shadows caught up with them. Lance put Lydia down and told her to run. He then launched himself at a guard. Using one of his wings, he sliced the guard in two, causing him to dissipate.
One down, four to go thought Lance.
The shadow closest to him sliced, but he ducked and sent a jet of flame into the guard’s face. At the same time, he swatted another guard with a powerful lash from his tail. Both dissipated.
Only one left he thought.
Unfortunately, that one was smarter than the rest. Realizing he could not beat this adversary with brute force, he threw a heavily enchanted net at Lance. It fell on him like a boulder.
The shadow picked Lance up and started carrying him. Lance struggled for a solid minute but gave up seeing it was futile. Lance felt hopeless.
Then, he had to move before he was hit by the arrow- a real arrow, not a shadow arrow! The arrow hit the guard square in the chest, destroying him. Lydia jumped down from a building and freed Lance.
“We’re not out of hope yet,” she said.
“Not by a long shot!”
edit: fixed something Zahmen brought to my attention.
edit: fixed something voxxx brought to my attention
It ended up winning 1st place for my grade level in my county.
Critique or read as you like
She had known Lance for a while now; at least since the Shadow Guard had taken control of the city and their hope, but she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
Her name was Lydia, she was 17 years old, and she was an elf. She lived in the city of Balnoras, which had been the last hope against Durrahn, the wielder of Death’s Eyes. He had taken over Pharincx with little opposition until he came to the main city, but now that he had taken over, all hope seemed lost. Lydia was seeing proof otherwise.
“What?” she asked, wondering if she had heard correctly.
“I am not an elf. I am a dragon wolf, a race charged with guarding the world”, explained Lance. “I’ve been disguising myself in a mortal form to hide, but now the time has come to free the city.”
“The city is a hopeless cause, attempting to free it would be suicide!”
“We’re not out of hope yet, and I am much stronger than I have revealed. The release of the extra energy will lure the Shadow Guard. They’ll be here any minute to-” He paused. “Speak of the devil!”
The shadows on the walls of the room they were in took human shapes and molded into three dimensional forms. When the transformation was finished, they looked like silhouettes of soldiers, complete with swords, shields, and obviously plated armor. They started moving towards Lance and Lydia, but Lance had a surprise of his own.
Lance began to change shape, slowly leaning over as his fingers receded and his mouth stretched to a muzzle. His shoulder blades extended and, as the skin ripped through his shirt, turned blue and formed leathery dragon wings. His ears crawled up his head and triangulated, forming those of a wolf. A tail crawled out of the back of his pants like a snake, and his clothes became fur and spread as he became a quadruped. He ended as a blue wolf with dragon wings, scattered scales on his back, and an oddly intelligent face.
Before any of the Shadow Guard could react, he knocked Lydia onto his back and jumped out a window with her.
Outside, the city looked strangely peaceful for an enslaved area. None of the lanterns were lit, and so the moon created a perfect twilight. The buildings around were all stone with wooden roofs. Most of them were one story, but three or four of them had two. The path that Lance landed on was cobblestone, in desperate need of repair from the Guard’s marching.
The shadows caught up with them. Lance put Lydia down and told her to run. He then launched himself at a guard. Using one of his wings, he sliced the guard in two, causing him to dissipate.
One down, four to go thought Lance.
The shadow closest to him sliced, but he ducked and sent a jet of flame into the guard’s face. At the same time, he swatted another guard with a powerful lash from his tail. Both dissipated.
Only one left he thought.
Unfortunately, that one was smarter than the rest. Realizing he could not beat this adversary with brute force, he threw a heavily enchanted net at Lance. It fell on him like a boulder.
The shadow picked Lance up and started carrying him. Lance struggled for a solid minute but gave up seeing it was futile. Lance felt hopeless.
Then, he had to move before he was hit by the arrow- a real arrow, not a shadow arrow! The arrow hit the guard square in the chest, destroying him. Lydia jumped down from a building and freed Lance.
“We’re not out of hope yet,” she said.
“Not by a long shot!”
edit: fixed something Zahmen brought to my attention.
edit: fixed something voxxx brought to my attention
