A/N: Posted it on a writing site, fictionpress.com Would be marvelous to get some more critique. smile

The sickness. The ache. The agony. It made Louisa throw up every night without fail, from precisely 4.17am and would continue until just before half five. Her belly was round; a far cry from her usual slim figure, and how she hated the world for it. Her husband was the most gentle of souls. Caring and loving and strong. So strong. Always there, always protecting; no matter what. He loved Louisa with a passion, he was blinded to her psychotic personality. He saw only the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on. Louisa, on the other hand; while she loved Geoff with all her heart; gave into temptations. The devils on her shoulders ruled her head and her heart; but the baby was his and how she hated him for it. Her childhood had been rough; most people in they city had a similar upbringing, so Geoff; from the suburbs; found it disturbing, and yet amazing that she’d come through unscathed. Perhaps physically. But mentally, she was not right. The way she thought, her logic. It wasn’t natural, and completely consumed by paranoia. He sat by her every night, rubbing her back as she retched up her insides into the toilet. The marble was ruined after a few weeks of this, but it was nothing that couldn’t be bought again. Though both had different careers, both earned enough by themselves to live quite comfortably in their six-bedroomed villa. The money hadn’t gone to their heads, Geoff too grounded and Louisa losing interest in it too quickly, they had been together for years. The baby was unexpected, and she was six months along. Louisa was going mad. She grew angrier at the way she looked by the day, and her mood swings; escalated by the pregnancy; were turning more violent. “Look what you’ve done to me! How DARE you! I thought you loved me! How could you do that to me? I hate myself! LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE! What did I ever need a ******** husband for?” Louisa would scream at the top of her voice as she would stare at her naked body in the mirror in their bedroom. Though on occasion, she thought her pregnant form was lovely, and she would lovingly caress her belly; sometimes allowing Geoff to do the same. But her mood would switch in less than a heartbeat, perhaps the light would shift or Geoff would breathe at the wrong time. Windows and mirrors would be smashed, and she would sit down and weep and sob and wail for hours upon hours at how she’d never have her beautiful body back again.


~


Crying replaced the sickness in the early hours of the morning. Louisa wanted to kill the baby. If Geoff wasn’t there, she would. She’d go into the kitchen, find one of the butcher knives and end her creation’s noises for all eternity. Wouldn’t bat an eyelid. The baby was almost six months old now; still barely sleeping through the night, and Louisa knew she was a terrible mother. A horrible, wicked, unloving person undeserving of a child. She’d forbidden anyone to see the baby. Including her parents and Geoff’s family. She’d gone to the doctors for a few checkups and Geoff had allowed his parents a quick sneak; explaining of Louisa’s post-natal depression, and that it would pass in a few weeks. They thought nothing of it, so calm was Geoff. Louisa would come home, crying how everything inside her ached. Food made her nauseas and though she was starving; still unwilling to eat. Starving herself for days on end was her coping method. Water would be drunk, occasionally juice; but not food. Never food. Food was bad. She would sleep most of the day, plagued by nightmarish visions of her past and present colliding with each other. “Why are you with me?” Louisa snarled at Geoff one night. He looked at her with a confused face, but said nothing. “Why did you marry me?” she tried again, earning a shrug from her partner. “I love you…” It earned him a slap and a snarl.

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying… I love you,” he replied quietly.

“There’s so many things wrong with me!” Louisa said, her voice raising. “My moods. You can’t put up with them… it’s not fair,” her voice was shaking with clarity, eyes welling up. It was 2am.

Geoff reached over and wrapped his arms around her, only to be beaten off as she shied away from him, “no don’t. Get off. Don’t touch me! Don’t! Get away from me, I’m horrible!”

“No,” he whispered, though he made no move to follow her. “You’re not. I wouldn’t be with you if you were…”

“NO! That’s wrong!” Louisa yelled, causing the crying to start in the other room. Geoff made to leave, but was held back by her now trembling hand. “No, don’t leave me… You’re going to leave, aren’t you? You’re not going to come back…”

Geoff smiled and removed her hand, “I’ll come back I promise. I’ll just be in the next room. I love you.”

Louisa held on a little longer, “I’m a horrible person.”

“Sshh, you’re not. You’re the best. I’ll be back in a minute,” he replied soothingly, exiting the room to deal with his baby.


~


The police taped off Geoff and Louisa’s home. Geoff stood, emotionless, holding his baby, while news reporters and officials in suits went about their business. Photographs were taken and words documented. Everything was recorded, every small detail. The blood spatter in the kitchen was minuscule, though the knife which caused it was great. Almost three inches at it’s widest, a great serrated blade that could cut through anything. Louisa’s body lay against the wall; throat slit and that great, ******** knife still held in her hand. Her expression was dead and lifeless; mouth slightly open and hair splayed about her body. Suicide.