I read a fan fic based on this idea calledThe Big No Nos at Hogwarts It's hilarious, so I should share. rofl 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms
2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.
3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Devination class
6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
8 Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuss-Slytherin quidditch matches
13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball
14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"
15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall ont take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor
17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
18 I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak
19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
20) I will ont dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.
21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions.
24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom
25) Its not necessary fro me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate.
26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.
27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.
28 "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"
30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife
32) "Draco Mafly, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.
33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
34) It is a mad idea to tell Proffesor Mcgonagal that she takes herself to seriously
35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell
36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.
38 I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time".
41) Bringing fortune cookies to Devinations class does not count as extra credit.
42)My name is not "Dark-Lord Happy Pants" and I shall not sign my papers as such.
43) I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmellow peeps
44) I will not lock Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room and make bets on who will come out alive.
45) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
46) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the residential ghosts
47) I will not use first year Slytherins and Gryffindors as Christmas lights
48 I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force"
49) There is not, nor was there ever, a fifth house at Hogwarts. Nor am I in that house or the founder of it.
50) I will not put books of muggle fairy-tales in the history section of the library
51) When fighting the Death Eater in the annual June battle of Good vs. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and yell "There can only be ONE!"
52) I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes teacher
53) I will not take a life insurance policy out of Harry Potter
54) I will not wear A DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt to school
55) I am not allowed to make light-saber sounds with my wand
56) I will not tell first years that they should build a tree-house in the whomping willow
57) I will not teach the house elves how to impersonate Jar Jar Binks
58 I am not authorized to neggotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort...Especially if Harry Potter's life is in the bargain...
59) I will not follow potions instuctions backwards just to see what will happen
60) I will not use silencing charms on my profesors.
61) tackeling the womping willoow head first is not a good idea.
62) throughing Mrs. noris at the womping willow is not nice.
63) I am not a wooky animagus.
64) I am not a tribble animagus.
65) dissapearus little brotherus is not a REAL spell.
66) I will not charm a bottel of shampoo to fallow snape around every where he goes.
67) I must not ask voldermort why he looks like michal jackson.
68 running down the grate hall and scereaming "voldermort is coming!" is only funny the first 100
times.
69) in the beginning of each year i will not run behind snape yelling "daddy i'm home!" and hug him. it will only get me detention.
70) I will not do my steve irwin australian accent during care of magical creatures.
71) if harry potter falls asleep during class i will not draw a dark mark on his arm(don't be so shure!)
72) starting a betting pool with the slytherins on when harry potter will die is not appropriate.
73) I wil not tell snape i know sirus black.
74) I will not tell snape i know where sirus black is. bad idea.
75) I will not tell snape i AM sirus black...fatel.
76) there is no such thing as a were-tribble.
77) I can't turn fifty cents into fifty cent. bummer
78 I will not ask peter pettigrew "what the sewers of NYC are like."
79) I will not ask snape "when was the last time you took a bath?"
80) sitting in a bathroom with the popular girl, the girl form the south and the punk talking about how i like eggs like on the amanda show will only get me punched out.
81) If I magic-marker Potter style glasses on voldemort while he sleeps it will get me killed.
82) if I try to give fluffy a belly rub, well... it won't be preaty.
83) I will not feed Mrs. Noris to lupin.
84) I will not help voldemort with evil plots in exchange for japan and canada.
85) "beam me up scooty,this school sux!"is offending to every pure-blood that went to hogwarts.but they might not know who scotty is.
86) I will not tell lucious malfoy that harry is in love with droco
87) I will not send a carriage clock to mad-eye moody
88 I will not give McMonagal cat n** for christmas.
89) I wil lnot wear 'snapes #1 fan' t-shirt to potions
90) I will dye snapes hair pink while he's sleeping
91) I will not send voldemort marshmallows for christmas.
Another fan fic I read, Padfoot Prohibited by Liveley, includes teenage Sirius' personal list of what isn't allowed. The plot is REALLY FUNNY too! blaugh There's plenty of James/Lily, which is always fun. I highly recommend reading and reviewing it! biggrin
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