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For some time now, I've been writing letters grounded on two key principles:

Wood Winds Section chooses to ignore the fact that we must tear down its fortress of hooliganism if we are to report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding its addlepated newsgroup postings, and
its admirers lie about their sound bites, and then, when we're all convinced that no harm will be done, they leave helpless citizens afraid in the streets, in their jobs, and even in their homes.
Let's start with my claim that I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for its subterfuge. I'm thoroughly stunned. Wood Winds Section would have us believe that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem. Yeah, right. And I also suppose that the moon is made of green cheese? The fact of the matter is that when I hear it say that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point, I have to wonder about it. Is it entirely nutty? Is it simply being uneducated? Or is it merely embracing a delusion in which it must believe in order to continue believing in itself? To help answer that question I will offer a single anecdote. A few weeks ago, I overheard some grungy kleptomaniac tell everyone who passed by that Wood Winds Section is a spokesman for God. Astounded, I asked this person if he realized that Wood Winds Section is a scion of childish bludgers. Not only was his answer "no" but it was also news to him that the time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must make some changes here. The first step in that process is to realize that it insists that it has the trappings of deity. Sorry, Wood Winds Section, but, with apologies to Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so."

It seems to me that Wood Winds Section is both maladroit and mephitic. Now there's a dangerous combination if I've ever seen one. I once had a nightmare in which Wood Winds Section was free to impede the free flow of information. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, it is the case both in my nightmare and in reality that the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, if I had my druthers, Wood Winds Section would never have had the opportunity to use both overt and covert deceptions to cultivate the purest breed of irresponsibility. As it stands, whenever Wood Winds Section announces that we should avoid personal responsibility, its lieutenants applaud on cue and the accolades are long and ostentatious. What's funny is that they don't provide similar feedback whenever I tell them that I do not have the time, in one sitting, to go into the long answer as to why Wood Winds Section is not only woefully despicable, but terribly covinous. But the short answer is that when it tells us that it's the best thing to come along since the invention of sliced bread, it somehow fails to mention that I am highly critical of those who tolerate or apologize for people who work with Wood Winds Section. It fails to mention that shooting one's mouth off in a public forum on the basis of flimsy facts is neither prudent nor smart. And it fails to mention that it is always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me because Wood Winds Section's previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that its new changes will be even more dotty because there is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil organizations like Wood Winds Section.

In point of fact, I feel no more personal hatred for Wood Winds Section than I might feel for a herd of wild animals or a cluster of poisonous reptiles. One does not hate those whose souls can exude no spiritual warmth; one pities them. I feel funny having to tell readers whom I presume are adults that Wood Winds Section's ability to use paid informants and provocateurs to promote a herd mentality over principled, individual thought is astounding. I bring that up solely to emphasize that we must learn to celebrate our diversity, not because it is the politically correct thing to do but because its loyalists have tried repeatedly to assure me that it will eventually tire of its plan to don the mantel of corporatism and support international crime while purporting to oppose it and will then step aside and let us reinforce what is best in people. When that will happen is unclear -- probably sometime between "don't hold your breath" and "beware of flying pigs". What that means, simply put, is that it's our responsibility to convince the government to clamp down hard on Wood Winds Section's writings. That's the first step in trying to restore the world back to its original balance, and it's the only way to build a coalition of stouthearted people devoted to stopping it.

Show me where it says Wood Winds Section has the right to block streets and traffic to the extent that ambulances can't get through. I have reason to believe that Wood Winds Section is about to silence any criticism of the brainwashing and double standards that it has increasingly been practicing. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that I have a New Year's resolution for Wood Winds Section: It should pick up a book before it jumps to the clumsy conclusion that if it kicks us in the teeth we'll then lick its toes and beg for another kick. Is Wood Winds Section's head really buried too deep in the sand to know that it is a figment of its runaway imagination that everyone and everything discriminates against it -- including the writing on the bathroom stalls? I'll tell you the answer in a moment. But first, let me just say that if I didn't sincerely believe that its agitprop machine is running at full throttle, then I wouldn't be writing this letter. Wood Winds Section once tried convincing me that its contrivances prevent smallpox. Does it think I was born yesterday? I mean, it seems pretty obvious that there are some basic biological realities of the world in which we live. These realities are doubtless regrettable, but they are unalterable. If Wood Winds Section finds them intolerable and unthinkable, the only thing that I can suggest is that it try to flag down a flying saucer and take passage for some other solar system, possibly one in which the residents are oblivious to the fact that Wood Winds Section intends to create a new social class. Impolitic, cynical pests, foul lecherous-types, and the worst classes of jackbooted gits there are will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their yes-men.

Wood Winds Section's statements such as "Wood Winds Section is clean and bright and pure inside" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual. It's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to throw down the gauntlet and challenge Wood Winds Section's myrmidons to set the record straight. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader. Wood Winds Section is not just illaudable. It is unbelievably, astronomically illaudable.

I want nothing more -- or less -- than to invite all the people who have been harmed by Wood Winds Section to continue to express and assert their concerns in a constructive and productive fashion. To that task I have consecrated my life and I invite you to do likewise. The problem as I see it is not a question of who the franions of this society are but rather that Wood Winds Section claims that it is a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose. I avouch that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves although I should add that Wood Winds Section wants to sucker us into buying a lot of junk we don't need. It gets better: It believes that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. I guess no one's ever told it that if you were to ask it, it'd say that it doesn't remember increasing society's cycle of hostility and violence. Not only does Wood Winds Section unmistakably have a very selective memory, but it would have us believe that putrid sad sacks should be given absolute authority to promote the total destruction of individuality in favor of an all-powerful group. In reaching that conclusion I have made the usual assumption that Wood Winds Section's apostles tend to fall into the mistaken belief that Wood Winds Section's depraved coterie is a respected civil-rights organization, mainly because they live inside a Wood Winds Section-generated illusion-world and talk only with each other.

How on earth these nabobs of revisionism can think of themselves as anything but sinful spivs is beyond me. Wood Winds Section seems to assume that people prefer "cultural integrity" and "multicultural sensitivity" to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life. This is an assumption of the worst kind because it says that the few of us who complain regularly about its pronouncements are simply spoiling the party. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that it has achieved sainthood.

For the moment, I will concentrate on the fact that Wood Winds Section's spin doctors are once again out begging for signatures for some jaded petition that makes it legal for Wood Winds Section to trample over the very freedoms and rights that it claims to support. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to. Although Wood Winds Section is trying to portray itself as a great philosopher on par with Wittgenstein or some such personage, its thesis is that going through the motions of working is the same as working. That's completely crafty, you say? Good; that means you're finally catching on. The next step is to observe that I have to wonder where Wood Winds Section got the idea that it is my view that anyone who resists it deserves to be crushed. This sits hard with me because it is simply not true and I've never written anything to imply that it is.

What so many people find difficult to grasp is that Wood Winds Section's co-conspirators have an inadequate grasp of acceptable scientific method and data interpretation. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: It has graduated from occasionally exempting itself from the few principles it has to betraying them altogether. In spite of all Wood Winds Section has done, I must admit I really like the organization. No, just kidding. We don't need to demonize Wood Winds Section; it is already a demon, and furthermore, I've heard of cantankerous things like gangsterism and alarmism. But I've also heard of things like nonviolence, higher moralities, and treating all beings as ends in and of themselves -- ideas which its ignorant, unthinking, reprehensible brain is too small to understand. I wouldn't want to interfere with a person's work performance, bodily security, physical movement, and privacy rights. I would, on the other hand, love to disabuse Wood Winds Section of the notion that my bitterness at it is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. But, hey, I'm already doing that with this letter.

You may balk at this, but each rung on the ladder of communism is a crisis of some kind. Each crisis supplies an excuse for Wood Winds Section to impale us on the pike of careerism. That is the standard process by which sanctimonious, vapid smart alecks deflect attention from Wood Winds Section's unwillingness to support policies that benefit the average citizen. We can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we unequivocally have to take stock of what we know, identify areas for further research, and provide a useful starting point for debate on Wood Winds Section's presumptuous, featherbrained double standards. As sure as you're born, my goal is to help people break free of Wood Winds Section's cycle of oppression. I might not be successful at achieving that goal but I decidedly do have to try. With this letter, I hope I have made my views crystal-clear: Wood Winds Section's unedifying preoccupation with despotism will make us dependent on what I call slovenly, squalid geeks for political representation, economic support, social position, and psychological approval sooner or later.

haha, that's a pretty humorous post. kinda like a stretched out add lib comment. reminds me of a joke about harry potter, how you can replace "wand" with "rod,or pen_s", and the story turns completely perverted.

for some entertainment, try this: replacing "Wood Wind Section" with "Commander Hutson Rahl's bulbous nose"

The Automatic Complaint Generator

Well, I had a 10 paragragh complaint, then it was deleted, so i went to that site and got 10 more paragraphs, i read through 5 before choosing one.. pain in the neck...