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okay so i work in walmart which means i work among the public. and something I have noticed is how so many words and actions have lost thier meaning in society.

things like "excuse me" , "sorry", "how are you doing?"...... they loose their meaning. we say them because we "it is polite to do".

im sorry, but if you slam right into me to grab something off the shelf that i am working on stocking, then NO, i wil NOT excuse you! and NO, you are NOT sorry and you know it!!!

as for "how you doing today?", do you really CARE how I am doing? do you REALLY want to hear how I am doing? I think not.........

and wghile I am on the subject, how about all these polite gestures, such as "ladies first", "holding the door open for a woman", or "guys ask girls out". in our modern age, when we are supposed to be so very equal, why are we still conforming to these gestures?

If someone is close behind me, I will hold it open anyway, despite gender.

and you know what? some guys are too shy to ask a girl out. if she likes him, she should do more than give hints (not all guys get them), she should actually take action and ask.......

yeah, sometimes I feel words have lost their meaning. especially when I'm feeling particularly cynical. I work on the phone all day, and when I'm in a bad mood and someone asks me "how ya doin today?" I think...man, if I truthfully answered that question you'd regret ever asking! but I suck it up, beause realistically I know it's just another way of greeting, showing friendliness, and I'm just in a bad mood.

as far as gestures like holding doors open, I'm like you... I'll hold it open for anyone close enough behind me (and I am a woman, so obviously gender makes no difference). I think people who treat the female gender in a special way are usually older and reflect something of an old fashioned 'chivilric' attitude. not that this is bad in and of itself, but if women are seeking "equality" then they cant expect these little gestures (including having to be the one to be asked out) just because they're women. most women I know however, dont expect these things anymore. those men who behave that way are a dying breed. it just goes along with the changing of the times.

however, when I'm in walmart or anywhere else, if I bump into someone and say I'm sorry, I *DO* mean it. especially when the place is more crowded than manhattan at rush hour. and I think the majority of those are like me. even tho their preoccupied with getting whatever it is they want, they didnt mean to push me out of the way, and saying 'sorry' is *at least* some kind of acknowledgment. I would be more pissed off at someone who bumped into me and didnt say a word. I'd find that person as a totally unobservant and selfish individual.

I know exactly what you mean by this post. Things today mean NOTHING compared to what they used to mean. =

I'm one of the nice people that hold open doors for people to be friendly, but it's rare that I get a real thanks. It's only from people that need me to hold it open that I get a thanks from. Most others don't even glance in my direction.

Saying sorry is just like staring blanky into their eyes now. You can do something, and honestly say sorry, but they won't care. I'll bet that they would still hold it against you no matter what.

This subject has just hit home for me, thanks for bringing this to attention.

It is true that some gestures and words do loose thier meanings, but I think it's just a part of the way things work. I work at Toys-r-us and I know there are days when someone asks how I am and I want to punch them in reply just to show by way of example how I'm doing that day. And I know as a woman I've never been walking behind a guy and thought "oh my god, what an a**, he didn't hold the door open", in fact I'm usually shocked when someone does hold a door open. I don't really expect it of anyone, I figure I'm pretty capable of opening a door (or tying my shoelaces, or buying my lunch, or any of the things normal people are capable of doing for themselves). I do hold the door open for someone if they're right behind me, just because I feel as though I'm an a** if I let it slam in thier faces. What really amazes me from my time working with the public is that once you're just the person behind the counter they can be as rude and nasty to you as they please. After all, you're just a person in a uniform and you couldn't possible have real emotions or feellings. And I've had some really nasty people (lucky for them my more homicidal urges are just within my control). I've worked retail for years now at a number of different places and it's the same everywhere. What truly amazes me, however, is the offensivly high numbers of openly religious people who will rake you over the coals. At the book store it was the people looking for Bibles who would spend 15 minutes kussing me out, threatening me with bodily harm, calling me the most disgusting names you can think of, all because we were out of stock on the exact Bible they were looking for. And at Toys-r-us it the lady who handed me a pamplet about being saved with her payment yesterday who is back the very naext day and screaming at me because she doesn't like the return policy (as though I could actually do anything about it). It just blows my mind how cruel people can be to a complete stranger just because they're the person behind the counter. In fact, it's rare that I ever help someone that is even close to some simblance of nice. The majority of the people that come through my line or that I help at the service desk are mean, rude, and often down right nasty to me. It's gotten to the point that I'm really shocked when someone nice comes through the line.

I have begun to notice these losses as well. I've been trying to really mean it when I ask someone how (s)he is, to be ready to listen to ranting or whatever comes afterwards with compassion. I've also found, however, that my days are often so busy that I have to run away without really listening. That's probably one reason for this loss of common courtesy and human contact. I know that that's one of my biggest problems. The expectation that each new generation must go farther and be better than the preceding one contributes greatly to abuse of both other people and the environment. Sorry if I sound too Daoist, but maybe the world would be better if humans would stop all this competition and "progress" for long enough to re-evaluate what progress should really be. (Or maybe the world would fall into stagnation. That could happen, too.)

i musty agree with thestepH, i think that the world is a decent place, and i think it's great when men hold doors open for women and when people say sorry, or ask me about my day, even if they don't care. i'm a guy who believers int toal and complete equality, but as ar as chivalry goews, if someone is close enough i'll get the door. if i like the person on a personal level, i may even wait a minute or two just so i can open the door. but it doesn't matter who they are, or what they've done, common courtesy should be respected, not frowned upon. i don't mean to sound rude or mean or anything like that, but it seems a little pessimistic to focus on how much someone doesn't care, or how insincere something was. if i open the door for someone, its not because i think they're weaker or less, its because i respect people enough to try to relieve a little work or stress when i can. chivalry towards women is more like a way of respecting women because men like women. not all men like women to the same extent, and thats okay, its just a traditional, sweet way to say " i like and respect you" and maybe even more. i think the problems come when people start demanding special treatment, as opposed to gracefully receiving it when it comes. as a genreal rule i bleieve that when we all respect each other, then we will have greater equality, and then we can all be happy campers. but until we learn to respect a stranger despite what we may think or guess about them we will never be equal. r-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out what it means to me, hahaha

and thats me

nk(c-v)

okay, i have to apologise for not reading all of everyone's posts, because i have to go out soon. so, i realise that i will probably say things that have already been said, and again, i apologise for that.
for most people, these things have lost their meaning. but for me, and most of the people i socialise with, when we ask someone how they're doing, we want to hear that their relative is ill, or that they've had a hard day and will be glad to get home. because i know that when people ask me that, and mean it, it feels good to talk about it with someone, even if it's someone i don't know. and that's why i ask it, so that other people can feel that way. when i tell people that i hope their afternoon/morning/day will be enjoyable, i really do mean it.
i don't believe, however, that true equality can exist unless women start asking men that they are interested in out on a date, holding the door open for them, and all that sort of thing. when i'm out on a date, i expect whoever reaches the table first to pull out a seat for the other. if that is me, then i do it. if i reach the door first, i hold it for whoever else is going through it. it's basic polite behaviour that should not only apply to men, but also women.

i'm sorry, but i have to go, so i'll come back and read the rest of your posts later.

There's nothing more to say, I agree.