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I need help on 2 things: First, my super ******** up dream. Second, I need help on the Secret Santa thing that four of us were going to do. Christmas is less than a month away and I want to start a posty-thready-thing so everyone can put their names on the list of people who want the be apart of the Secret Santa event.

First, my ******** up dream:

Last night I had this dream that I was working part-time at an assisted suicide clinic. Two of the people I helped kill themselves were my dad and my currently (and recently) deceased grandma. In this clinic I worked at had two options: Mass assisted suicide or alone suicide..

My grandma wanted to die in a mass suicide. The way we killed off people was that we sat them in a chair, and then we made them drink this clear liquid, and then strapped them in that chair, and we stuck a small tube in their mouths, and then a salmon colored liquid came from the tube and into their mouths. They would then moments later foam from their mouths briefly then die. My grandma died this way. My dad, however, wanted to die alone, but he got jumpy and drank some poison early and died on the spot.

Then an 11-year old kid asked me to kill him, but by rules it said he wasn't oold enough. But he paid me about 200 bucks, and I somehow agreed to it, but by all my moral standings I should've said no. So I followed protocol with the tube and chair strapping things, and as the pinkish liquid was going into the boy's mouth, he had second thoughts and screamed to stop, but he died moments later before I could stop it...

He wanted to die 'cuz he was an orphan and felt nobody loved him. But the real ******** up part was how we disposed of the bodies. When a certain a mount of people died, we'd cremate them, but not like normal cremate.. More like the Holocaust kind of "cremating", with gigantic ovens, and stuff...

And that was my ******** up dream T___T

Can you tell me what it means? ;-;

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And as for the Secret Santa thing..

I had saved up about 60K so far, but my sister Suu (short for Susana) got hacked last Wednesday so I put all of the Christmas fundings that I had saved (and about half my items) to her gonk

I'm gonna sell a bunch of stuff off my muley to make up for what I lost so I can stay back on track. :]

If Chibi and the others have started this without me, I apologize for not replying sooner gonk

I think, though, if it hasn't been started already, we should make a thread for this specifically sweatdrop I'm a little scatter-brained today (when am I not, though x-o; ).

Okay, let's get the conversations rolling? :3

Grin Evilly says:

I have the Secret Santa thing all planned out.
I was going to post about it today, if not tomorrow.
We can discuss it there. x]

And poor you! What a terrible dream.
There was a story about a suicide clinic here on the news the other day.
From my impression apparently the government is thinking about opening a few or something.
I really don't know.
But in any case.
I hope it goes away. D: Dreams like that are terrible.

Your dream:
For your grandmother, I think your dream was that you might be concerned that you will forget about her/that she will be forgotten. A lot of people die every day, so it sounds like you're subconsciously worried that eventually she'll be just a name and not the person.
For your father, it's a little more obvious - losing someone is hard, and it often leads to fears about the deaths of others in our lives. Maybe you're a little worried your father will die as well, and the "drinking poison early" means you're frightened he'll die prematurely.
As for the little boy, that comes from the general lack of understanding about death. Why does it happen? Why can't we stop it? How can we just stand by and watch it happen? Why can't we DO anything? It's very hard to watch people die.
Finally, for the cremation part, I think this goes back to the concern that once you die, you're just a name that's gone. That once you're dead you don't mean anything, that you're just one more body to be burned.

Onto Secret Santa! I've been consumed by NaNo recently, but I'm still willing to do it... I can get some gold by selling stuff if everyone is still interested in doing it.

O.o I've dreamed about helping to kill people I care about before. For me I think it was me feeling like I was holding them back and making life difficult for them, I'd just been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder when I had dreams like that and I still wasn't on the right medicine, so it was pretty tough. I dreamed all sorts of things, I became a hit woman in one...O.o, in another I did a Jigsaw type thing too, if you've ever seen Saw. So yeah, if you're feeling guilty about something, that might have something to do with it. Also you might just be depressed about the way the world handles things in general. I have angry dreams about that sometimes too.

Dunno if that helped.

My friend told me that she thinks it may mean that I've been neglecting and avoiding the process of grieving/closure. I am one of those types that tend to bottle things, so it could be true. She also thinks that the dream was my mind's naturally sadistic way of telling me that I need to. X-x;