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 Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:16 pm
Memories of ex.
Memories of being happy.
Where did it all go? My fault. Can't get it back. ******** me.
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:10 pm
I'm really sorry *hugs*...not sure what's wrong, but I'm still sorry
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:19 pm
If I'm ever in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me. sad I want to experience that at least once.
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 7:49 pm
-patpat- heart i know the feeling emo
especially lately
except for the crying... because i lack the ability to unless it's from physical pain confused
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 10:42 pm
Link_Zero_One -patpat- heart i know the feeling emo especially lately except for the crying... because i lack the ability to unless it's from physical pain confused i agree. i feel your pain :[ and i've done the crying too. It sucks because i know it was my fault too :/ . at times i break down and want it back but sadly it'll never happen :/
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 10:56 pm
I thought I was over him, I thought it was over. But then I started to try and hang out with him, and just be his friend cuz I miss being his friend so much.
And now I'm right back in love with him but there's nothing I can do about it cuz I ruined our relationship. People keep telling me to just tell him and let him know how I feel... but I can't. Of course I want him back, I think that would make me very happy, but I don't think I deserve a second chance.
I'm trying to get him out of my head sad
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 11:04 pm
PukeFacedFreak I thought I was over him, I thought it was over. But then I started to try and hang out with him, and just be his friend cuz I miss being his friend so much.
And now I'm right back in love with him but there's nothing I can do about it cuz I ruined our relationship. People keep telling me to just tell him and let him know how I feel... but I can't. Of course I want him back, I think that would make me very happy, but I don't think I deserve a second chance.
I'm trying to get him out of my head sad well, ask yourself this is it worth suffering silently? or would it be worth it to take a chance and tell him how you still feel? (and even if he says no, it might give you some closure or whatever, and help you get over those feelings and just be his friend again ^_^ )
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 11:57 pm
The problem is that I WANT to be his friend, and yes I'd LOVE it to be as a boyfriend but if it's just a friend I'm allowed to have then I'll take it. BUT...
I can't seem to turn off the "he's my boyfriend" button. When I'm with him, I want it to be like it used to be. There are so many things we did together as a couple that friends would do. Going to the hookah bar and smoking, sitting around watching tv; normal things that we can't do the same way anymore and I don't know how to do it without the emotion. sad
One day I'll figure it out, I know. But I'm not going to lie to myself and say it doesn't hurt now (even though I sure as hell will lie to him about it).
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Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 7:32 pm
Just remember you can't keep lying to yourself forever,which means one day you will have to either tell him how you feel or find someone else you could love more,i know that when my first husband and i got devorced it hurt me alot i never got over him,and even though i found someone else ,my first husband will always be a memorie i can never forget.
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Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 8:50 pm
PukeFacedFreak The problem is that I WANT to be his friend, and yes I'd LOVE it to be as a boyfriend but if it's just a friend I'm allowed to have then I'll take it. BUT...
I can't seem to turn off the "he's my boyfriend" button. When I'm with him, I want it to be like it used to be. There are so many things we did together as a couple that friends would do. Going to the hookah bar and smoking, sitting around watching tv; normal things that we can't do the same way anymore and I don't know how to do it without the emotion. sad
One day I'll figure it out, I know. But I'm not going to lie to myself and say it doesn't hurt now (even though I sure as hell will lie to him about it). believe it or not, im in your exact situation :/. how long were you guys going out for? and what did you do to ruin the relationship ? im sorry if im not much of an advice giver but im still trying to figure out how to move a long because im exactly like you right now. if friends is all we can be then im taking it, and you know at times when we "hang out" if feels so good as if it had never ended. i get a rush of thrills whenever im with him because i think maybe we'll get back but it never works :[ .
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Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 11:31 pm
I'm not trying to ignore it forever. I know when I find someone else to think about constantly it won't be this way. But I haven't.
We went out for a year and a half, and I cheated on him. I've cheated on every boyfriend I've had (who was in physical reach and longer than a month)
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:36 pm
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Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 12:50 pm
Well... here's another twist.
The guy in OK I was going to see... not going to anymore. He's been thinking about his life and where it's going and all that jazz... it happens. He doesn't want me to go over there.
Just an easy way to make a decision. Don't have to worry about leaving Cali. Just gotta worry about being miserably lonely and in love with someone I can't have (Tim). I loved Tommy, but I was already preparing myself to not be with him. I was going to OK in hopes that I would learn that it wouldn't work out so I wouldn't keep tearing myself apart inside with the long distance and me not wanting to leave CA.
Decision has been made and I'm alone. Forgive me for any emoness that follows my friends... I'll try to recoop.
Oops, forgot my meds today. *goes to take them*
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