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Not So Fantasy

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Vixen13

PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 8:49 pm


So, I nickname my stories until I settle on a title. I figured it was a good name.

Well, some threads I've visited recently inspired this. It was a great idea, but I have no plot. So I figured since gaia inspired me, I'd see if it would like to help me out some more! Hope you enjoy. (note: so very rough draft)

*****


“The world began, as most worlds do, in myths and legends that contain no substantial truths. The cultures were ruled by their legends and religions, thus shaping them into peoples of tradition. Oft times tradition can cause obstinance in a race, which brings about a feeling of superiority. This occurrence was no different. As these cultures grew, their races and practices became more distinct. In a matter of time, they were at war. Despite the reasons they told themselves, the wars were simply to prove their power by instilling fear into others.

“This wasn’t a hard thing to do. The Elven races had their capability of imbuing weapons with power and trapping magic in items for later use. The Orks were superior in their strength, stamina, speed, and ability to heal. The Dwarves were well known for their abilities to be master of any trade they chose to pursue, be it involving life or death. Centaurs knew their earth as if it were themselves and could use it to their advantage like none other could.

“Then there were the humans. A strand of magic ran through their race’s blood and produces mages of various abilities and skill. However, as humans had no natural abilities of magic as a whole, the mages were cast out and became their own society. Humans were left to win their battles by determination and bravery alone, and they did well for themselves, considering.

“However, the wars soon became too much for even the best of the races. The humans withdrew from battle and focused on defense, staying within their city walls and letting the war play itself out. If only it were so simple. The Great War only ended when there weren’t enough warriors to fight anymore.

“Defeated and empty the races no longer cared to fight for anything so petty as honor or vengeance. The races were for once united in their misery. For they were all dying races, endangered, on the verge of extinction. Finding a mate became an indulgence, as it was much more important to simply breed with another of the same species. When the races no longer cared to fight and were united in fear of their own end, humans made their re-appearance.

“Humans offered their rapidly growing cities as shelter to any peaceful race and agreed to help find others of their own species to pull them back from their inevitable doom. In return, a peace treaty would be signed that would ensure peace between all the different peoples. And, for a time, it worked. Discrimination reared its head for a time, but was easily overcome. For indeed, there were more interesting things happening.

“The humans, whilst locked away in their cities, had developed something to make up for their lack of magic. Harnessing the power of explosion in a weapon to cause a deadly projectile. Energy generated by wind, water, and fire to create electricity. Light harnessed within small glass bulbs. Technology. And it only grew bigger, brighter, better, and faster.

“The elves, to live by tradition and repay their debt to humanity for saving their race, offered their intelligence in the pursuit of technology. The dwarves, happy to finally find a new trade, were actively advancing anything they could get their hands on. The centaurs held everything together and made sure the earth was not stripped of all its valuable recourses or cluttered with waste made of the failed attempts called invention. Soon there grew the Great Cities, spawned and flourishing due to the history of the Great War.

“Many years passed along with many conflicts and a growing apart of the races. But before all became too familiar to history, an idea was formed. Space. It was something that was just discovered to be possible. Exploration of the vast stars that so many of the races had once worshiped or looked to for peace or guidance. For one shining moment in all that history, the people were united in a common goal to reach the stars.

“It was that effort that allowed them to reach the outer orbit and set up the very first space station. But such good things never last. As new stations were built, they quickly gained their own codes, laws, cultures, and a majority that consisted of a single race. It seemed it was all starting again. New weapons, new spells and magic, new battle strategies. All were being concocted on each station, all waiting, ready to pounce on the first opportunity. Waiting, as it were, for history to repeat itself as it always has.

“Thankfully, it was interrupted by something extraordinary. First contact. The first dealings with extra terrestrial beings. And with that meeting came the floodgates to the universe. Soon enough, the planet was united again by the simple joy of seeing someone from “home” amongst the sea of alien life. As it were, the peoples were moving too fast and being quickly scattered across the galaxies. For that reason, The Institute was founded.

“The Institute teaches the history of this planet, its cultures, its learnings, its achievements. No child will be sent off into the black abyss without a knowledge and sentiment of where they came from. Without experiencing home. Your home. Your people. Your heritage.

“You will be prepared when you journey off into that endless night to discover and create things as someone does every day. We are standing on the next turning point in our planet’s history and you are all a part of it. You will all one day stare out into the star littered space and see the edge of eternity. Hopefully, you will be prepared for it.”

***

Jeff stood outside the classroom door, watching Kallen give his great introductory speech to his new batch of students. Each teacher in the Institute taught the same subject to the same group of kids their entire course which lasts eight years. So only once ever eight years did Kallen get to be so regal and awe inspiring. A small smile played across Jeff’s face because he new the old centaur reveled in it.

Kallen was a good talker, which made him perfect for history. He wouldn’t insult a race, no matter how bad the history. Jeff noted that he smoothly graced over the ork’s struggle in evolving. For a long time, ork’s were the least intelligent of all the races, by a lot. It took quite some time, and a lot of combined effort, but now the orks are normal members of their society. Even though they still beat all rivals in brute strength.

Considering all that, most people found it odd for the brainiac Kallen to be such good friends with the Chief of Security ork named Jeff. Neither of them would say much about it in company. Jeff wasn’t sure of Kallen’s exact reasons, but he did it just to be amused by others reactions. After all those years of being the best of friends, Kallen still had his secrets. But what was a centaur without secrets?

The class was dismissed and Jeff stood his ground by the door, staring down at the new attendants and ignoring a small voice in the back of his mind that told him it was wrong to scare students on their first day of school. Once they were all out of the classroom, Jeff let himself in and walked over to Kallen.

“Centaurs… The perfect teachers due to their ability to be excrutiatingly long winded.”

Kallen turned and gave a sardonic smile. “Ah, we have beaten prejudice, but stereotypes still live strong.”

Jeff spread his arms wide, “Only telling it like it is, old friend.”

“Brute.”

“Chatterbox.”

The men shared a smile just then, both having nostalgia of the long running joke that started in their childhood.

“So, Jeff, what brings you to visit?”

“Why do you still have qualms with me changing my name?”

The centaur waved his hand in the air as if batting away a bug. “I suppose I’m a stickler to tradition including, but not limited to, namesakes.”

“No one can pronouce my real name!” Jeff argued for what seemed the hundredth time. “Besides, it’s the only thing I could think of to seem ‘less intimidating’ to the new students.”

Kallen frowned at him. “You could have started with refraining from glaring at them.”

“What? And take the only fun out of my job? I’ll stick to Jeff, thank you.”

With a sigh, Kallen gave up the argument for another day. And there would be another day. He may be getting on in years, but centaurs these days could live quite the lengthy life. Rest assured, a centaur can politely argue right to his death bed. Albeit, an ork can be just as stubborn as ever right to his death bed. Kallen always had the image of himself and Jeff laying beside each other in their medical beds, arguing into oblivion. Of course, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Come on,” Jeff said and made a beckoning motion towards himself and the door. “I know how much you love your speech. I’ll make the day all the much better and buy you your favorite shake down at Paslie’s.”

“The one drink every eight years. The only gift I ever get from you outside of my birthday.” Kallen replied with a smirk.

“I know. I’m just such a giving guy.”

With that, they left for the food plaza.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:55 pm


Vixen your here!

(sorry it's too late to read at the moment. sad I promise I'll read it tomorrow. )

NovaKing


Vixen13

PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 10:03 am


Yesh! I am. I signed up almost directly after you told me too. hehe You and your peer pressure!
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:09 pm


This is excellent! Just amazing. I love Kallen's speech about the history of the world. It's so detailed. I understood every event he described. That's real talented writing.

My favorite line would have to be "But what was a centaur without secrets?" That held me in suspense and made me want to read it all. So I do hope you continue, and finish, and publish this.

It was truly a joy to read.

.:~o*'Isianya'*o~:.

Isianya

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KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 10:51 am


Izzi's right; it's good. Ah, rough drafts...the first time you write a story, it's always got that feel to it. You can always tell.

You were right, it's a very rough draft. I'm not being mean or anything, but I've been here, done this all before, a couple of times even. What you need to do is keep writing it as much as you like--until you finish, even, if that's what makes you happy. During that, you need to read some really great books. Not great as in popular, awesome plot, etc. You need to find some well-written books dealing with your type of book (like The Lord of the Rings series ((by the way, orcs are a specifically LOTR thing, just to let you know)), Eragon ((bleh. He needed more practice, but he has a nice style for a newbie)), and come to think, mine, as well. Our stories are a lot alike. ^^

Then rewrite the entire thing.

If you keep thinking about it, how you'll do it down to the last word, one day you'll be inspired and all that reading will pay off.

Also, keep in mind that the centaur's story was excellent, a nice way to begin--but he did stereotype the different races, species, whatever you want to call them. A fatal flaw in this kind of genre is that humans have their varying personalities, but an elf, say, will be just the same as another elf. Elves, dwarves, orks, centaurs, whatever else you have--they're all people, too.

I'm not saying you didn't do that--it's just something all fantasy writers should remember.

Nice job. ^^ It really is good--you can do whatever to it that makes you happy. And if you need help, ask me, okay? ^^
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:45 pm


Well, I really wanted to make their history as cliche as possible. The original idea was exactly that. The cliche fantasy story shoved into the future. All those usual conflicts and issues and abilities would end up producing what kind of civilization? What would they be like when exploring space? I found it a fascinating topic and couldn't resist starting it. But now after my wonderful speach and the little character development I've done, I need a plot. And that's when it occured to me I didn't have one and had no idea where to go with it. I still don't. I've been thinking about it for days. I've got nothin'. x.x

Btw, Tolken's writing style and me didn't get along. Eragon's on my to-do list.

I thank you all for you comments! They make me happy. ^.^ heart I'm glad you like it. I just wish I knew what to write next. sweatdrop

Vixen13


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:18 pm


You're TRYING to make a cliche? O.o wow. Daring.

Okay, sorry...I was being mean before. Just a little. sweatdrop

Tolkien was a grown-up, and he lived in what, the fifties? His book is practically a classic. Of course no one can write like that anymore! Pfft.

Eragon is passable. He gets an E for Exceeds Expectations.


Ehhh...I cna't really tell you where to go next. How about a promising student (or the opposite) in the Institute does, erm, future stuff?!

Observation: huh. And I thought mythology and space couldn't mix. If you can pull this off, then... O.O
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 8:09 pm


I enjoy taking the hardest possible theme and running with it. I wrote this paper once in high school... Supposed to be about a modern day hero. I asked permission to do my report on G. I. Joe because he was a real american hero(TM). teehee I made him sound like a real person and refered to the sales as "recruits". It was a blast. xd

I could so totally pull off mythological fantasy in space. Just a matter of writing about something. I wanted to play up the "turning point" thing mentioned in the speech. On the verge of some great break through for their planet. Perhaps, there are big powers in space and this planet has set themselves up as one. And due to their magic, they've developed the idea of slip stream and made it work. If they're the first to accomplish that goal, others will flock to them, fight over it, barter for it. And what's out there? I mean, way, way, way, way out there. Hmmm... I should think on that.

Vixen13


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:30 pm


Waitwaitwaitwaitwait.

Slipstreams? time/space continuums? Really?

O.o I freaking love you. If you lived here, I'd invite you over for tea. That's awesome!
PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 3:16 am


lol Guess what I am? That's right! A Trekkie. Gene Roddenberry is my friend. (If only I could spell his name on the fly...)

I'll have to go to a few hard core theory sites and research it a bit more, but I kinda like the slipstream thing. I'm big into research and making sure my stories are as accurate as possible, even if it's fantasy or scifi(or both!). Stories are more realistic when they are composed of real elements. Ya know?

So, I'm thinking about my story. What if getting the energy to power the machine(loose idea) is the hardest part. That and synchronizing the patterns needed to rip space with the energy source. So this student has an idea that unconventional to say the least. Using a medium to build power and concentrate it into a denser form. You'd need magic. So I'm thinking fae. Understand, my ideas for their looks and abilities will be horribly complicated just because I'm like that. heh Still hammering out their detail.

So, this group of friends of different races and different strengths of studies kidnap three faeries. This is so illegal, but they bring them back up into space to the institute. After a while the guy keeping them (expert on magical theory since he's one of the few born planet side) starts to become friends with them. So now they're more willing to help out. But if this is going to be a success, they're going to have to sneak on to the slipstream prototype and test the charge up theory. They'll only have one shot at it before they're caught and get in lots of trouble. Less if they accomplish their goal and much more if they fail.

Rough idea, but very thin. There'd be so much time in there and gaps in the story I'd have to fill. So I'd have to think of what to fill it with...


OH! And I'd love some internet tea! ^.^ *offers internet crumpets*

Vixen13

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