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just being emo?

the kinky boot beast

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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 2:23 pm

lets just start this off now. this is simply an outlet for my frustrations feel free to post as you feel the urge and ask questions if you wish but this is some thing that wearing me down and well I need to get it off my chest.

my name is chelsie and Well I recently got some rather disturbing news from my brother that has kind of sent me into a bit of a downward spiral. my brother is a recovering Meth/Crank/Pot addict and has escaped form jail on a work release and now is hiding out form the cops and trying to get sober while in rehab ( although I think it’s a bunch of B.S. because he was told that the cop wont put him back in jail un till he is done with rehab ) well right now he is at the step in NA were he is trying to say sorry for everything he has done wrong to the people he loves and cares about . Well I was part of that list, and when he got to me I was shocked to say the least. I was expecting the usual… I’m sorry for picking on you…I’m sorry for calling you names… I’m sorry for being mean to your friends and ect. He got through all that just fine and then asked me if I was sitting down because he had some thing huge he had to apologize for. And that when he told me that he had molested me for a few years when I was little. I didn’t remember this I was far to young and well my brother was my rock my hero why would he do that to me he was my favorite sibling, he was the coolest person I knew. I felt shattered dirt used and well worthless. I wanted to die I couldn’t imagine why someone, no not just some one my brother my own flesh and blood would do that to me after all we had been through after the life we lived after all the crap we had been through together. I wish That he would have never told me would have never said a word. Shortly after finding out this information my step dad and I got into a pushing match and I decided to run away form home figuring I could make it on my own just fine. I crashed at a friend house the first night and well That worked out lovely her mom called the cops on me and well I retaliated by taking around 50 lithuims and trying to kill my self The cops arrived and took me to the hospital after I told them what happened and said I needed to get my stomach pumped and stay 24 hours in the hospital for an evaluation. Fun. Fun. Shortly before my trip to the hospital I made a runaway pact with the girl I had stayed with she wanted out for various reason and I was going to get her out I made her that promise we made a promise that we wouldn’t leave each other behind
After being stabbed with 23 needles, having a tube stuck down my nose, all the constant vomiting and seeing my mother cry way to much I released from the hospital into my mothers custody and was told to meet with a life wise consular. It all went well and I did as I was told well except for meeting with the people at life wise and went on as normal tell when Wednesday nite rolled around and the same girl I made the pact with came knocking at my door said pack your stuff and lets go. I packed up and left made I up to Washington and then the cops caught us and are charging us with all kinds of stuff so now that you got the bare knowledge I ask am I just being angst or what ?
Help me out ! by the way there is alot more to the story but Im a slow typer and well my brain hurts as it is so if your confused or whatever us ask and i'll get back to us as soon as possible

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 8:33 pm

really, I'm just gonna ask a simple question...
how old are you?

It may just be hormones making you feel this way ninja
although...the way you responded to the brother molesting you thing was reasonable, that may be whats making you feel this way....

SayGee

Dapper Fatcat

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the kinky boot beast

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Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 1:31 pm

im 17 years old and well maybe your right but still ive never done anything like that before it was like I just snaped

Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 3:51 pm

on the plus side im really doing much better now

the kinky boot beast

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SayGee

Dapper Fatcat

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Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:56 pm

the kinky boot beast

on the plus side im really doing much better now

sorry I never responded ><
I sometimes forget I post somewhere and then I see a thread and I'm like "oooo, clickies!" and then I realize I already posted there and never responded and I'm like "aw crud"
thats good that your doing better though 3nodding

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