I have depression. It all started about last winter. The worst of thing happened to me. Such a thing like this seems like it could only be found in a horror movie. But it happened. Note: if you're not gonna believe this, I suggest going away, 'cause this is all real, and it's affecting me. So I guess I should get to the reason: my cousin died in the worst way. You see, it was about Christmas time, so that meant my whole family was over at my house. At the time I had two little doggies. My cousin, who's about 15 or so, adored them. She wanted to take them for a walk, but I said she could only take one seeing as if you take them together, they'll pretty much chase each other around. My dogs were good friends. So she took one of them and went downtown. Ergh, I live in this small crappy town, and let me tell you down town has got to be the worst place ever. There's literally 10 bars and strip clubs. You get it? So she was walking and boom. It happened. Hit and run, a car came and hit her to her death. Police have confirmed that this driver was drunk (luckily in jail!). When the police phoned us, we got there as soon as we could. I just saw my cousin and dog, lying in the snow bleeding. The ambulances came and took her away. The next day, the doctor confirmed her..gone. My cousin has always been one of my best friends. I just couldn't live without her.
The thing is now with my depression, the doctor has given me these pills to take every night. They're too slow. I'm angry all the time. I'm angry at the world. I'm angry at this driver. I'm angry at God (don't flame me for that, but I just can't help it). I just recently lost one of the best friends I've ever had. It's my anger, I'll cause tons of fights and such. v_v I really only have like 4 real friends that accept me for who I am. I'm very lucky to have online friends and yeah. But I need help. I can't live my life like this. I'm still in shock of my cousin's brutal death. I'm actually too scared to walk on the streets now. This is messing up my life! I just want things to be normal. ):
It's 100% true. I try to hide my sadness by laughing like crazy D: It's all fake. The only one who really made me laugh was the girl I just lost. I did something kinda bad to her and well she also did something kinda bad but if I didn't do my bad thing I would have never found out. She does go on Gaia and I think she's in this guild, but I won't give out her name.
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