Welcome to Gaia! ::

So, OK. Most of you know that I just had a miscarriage recently. Well..Monday was my follow-up appointment (waste of my time personally), and everything is good. Of course I still have times that I'm upset about losing the baby, but for the most part, I'm doing well. Last night, I had two dreams.

The first was me being in labor and having an adorable child. The second, was me being at a party after having the child and people telling me that it was all a joke, that the 'baby' that they said I had was really just a baby doll. I got *SO* ticked off that I took an umbrella and tore the entire place up, including injuring (and possibly killing) *many* people who doubted me having a child. I was SO adamant about having this child and the more people doubted that it was real, the more I got ticked.

Well, I looked up 'labor' on dreammoods.com just to see what they had to say about it (if anything) and they said:



This is *SO* completely accurate that I am near tears. This hurts so much, but I have to keep in mind that it is natural. 1 in 6 women miscarry their first child and it rarely happens a second time (usually if it occurs a second time is due to tobacco and/or alcohol).

The dream sucks because its true. I want to start my family now. I've wanted to start one for about a year now. I know that this isn't the most opportune time, but still...

Also, for about a week after the miscarriage, I slept looking at the ultra sound picture that I got when I found out that I was pregnant. I slept with it because part of me felt like maybe it never happened. Maybe I was never pregnant and I had dreamed the entire thing up. The picture is my proof that it really happened. That I created life. This dream, especially the second one, showed me my fears.

Ah..the amazing miracle of dreams.

That's interesting! Its cute how your mother said you had to go back...I said that when my little brother came home in RL from the hospital! lol

Other than disecting the dream to identify the cause. Not really.

Heheh sorry this reminds me of an episode of Fraiser where he kept having a dream of a Gay sexual experience. And while he tried to explore and deal with different causes for the dream, the dream would react but still manage to lead up to a Gay experience. And considering Fraiser is Straight, it wasn't sitting too well with him. Sorry slightly off topic.

I'm wondering if there is something missing about this. Maybe some sense of closure, or recognition of any residue guilt or doubts that might be lingering on the edges that still need to be faced. I've seen small shrines, and funeral type services dedicated to the death of fetus and still borns. Just this week, I heard that some people are trying to make it possible to have birth and death certificates made for such situations to aknowledge the brief existance of these little ones, and their passing.

Just some thoughts.
Be well

Aw
I wouldn't throw them away either

For one of my guys at work, when his Dad passed away I helped him create a memory scrap book. He only had a couple of pictures of his Dad (and his family didn't want to part with any of their extras), so he and I sat down and talked about Dad and some of the things he and Dad did, as well as some of Dad's likes and such. Then we looked for stickers, and pictures that we could print off the computer or cut out of magazines with those type of themes and added them in the book.

I know you didn't get to spend any time with your little one, but you could do something similar. If you have a photo album, it might be nice to dedicate a page to the ultra sound pictures surrounded by hearts, ribbons, cherubs, angels and such and maybe even include a poem. Just an idea. heart