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So. My boyfriend is gone for a month and we're VERY tempted to have sex when he gets back. We're both Christians, and we've both always believed that sex should wait until marriage. However, God has clearly told me numerous times that I'm going to marry this guy. We've already gone pretty far physically, farther than I would have thought I would let myself go. But circumstances are different now. It's complicated...
Because of how far we've gone, emotionally I feel like I've lost my virginity already. I don't feel there would be much of a difference if we went all the way.
It's especially hard because we won't be able to get married for at least a year and a half.
I believe the Bible says sex is sacred between man and wife... but I KNOW this guy is gonna be my husband.

Any thoughts?

Well, n second thought I've been thinking about this lately, and I've got to say something.

I've had crushes on women before, and I've wanted to have these people, you know, in the bed. Sorry, I feel uncomfortable saying this. But anyway, Recently, I feel as if I've fallen in love with this girl, and sex is the last thing on my mind. Just spending the rest of my life by her side is enough for me. Who knows, maybe things will change, but what I guess what I'm trying to say, is "In love, sex should not be your prime concern, being with your love should be."

Well the Bilbe says sex is sacred between a husband and a wife not a boyfriend and a girlfriend or fiances or anyof those things. Since you're not his wife it would be wrong to have sex with him when he gets back. Even if you believe you'll be with him forever

I'd say WAIT! I'd urge anyone in your position to wait! Bad things can happen even if you're being careful. You could get pregnant. Can you imagine if you don't use birth control or if it breaks? If you might be pregnant but you don't know yet? It'd be a terrible scary experience. God knows about all that. That's why sex was created for married couples. Please wait, for God, for you.

Let me tell you something. I'm 23 and single and still a vergin myself. I too am chooseing to wait until I'm married to have sex. Why? because then I can say and show that I waited my whole life to give the woman I marry my love for her and ONLY HER.

Now what does that have to do with what I just said? Well I think you both should wait. Sometimes sex and love can be tempting and sweet, but how would you feel on your wedding night? I mean, I belive that sex is a sacred thing, it bonds two people together and is also a 'band-aid' as my mother likes to call it. xD

But I think the passion and the love would be much more greater if you waited untill your wedding night. Satan loves to tempt people, even us Christians! But if we remain faithfull and stand strong then the reward we get will be ten times as much as we had before.

So wait, I know it's hard, but stick it out. I'm sure it'll make both of you fall deeper in love when you do finally make love on your wedding night. ^^

That's precisely the reason why I'm not dating right now. I'm still too weak on the sexual aspect as to get myself into more temptation. I know it's difficult to keep oneself pure... both in a relationship, and without a relationship. Yet Jesus demands radical actions on our lives:

-"If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell" (Matthew 5:29).
-"If you love me, you will obey what I command" (John 14:15).

I pray God to enlighten you and to let you see which would be the best thing to do in this case. Keep in mind that the longer we play with sin, the further we will want to go with it. One of the best descriptions for sin is a snowball, and I guess you can see the picture. Again, I know it's really difficult to keep oneself sexually pure, but "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

God provides a way out of temptation... be it breaking the relationship, be it changing the way your relationship goes (avoiding be alone with your boyfriend), be it unexpected circumstances that God can use for you not to give in... but there's always a way out of temptation.

Remember to set your minds on the things above: God promises His blessings towards those who obey His commands.

I'll be praying for you. 3nodding


EDIT: Whoa... I just realized this thread is from July gonk . Anyways... it will serve to help all of us who struggle with sexual immorality.

Sex is a powerful craving...

This is a perfect example for the struggle that goes on between man and God. We complicate everything and sex is no exception. Sex is a beautiful gift designed by God for us! It was meant to be shared in the safety of a marriage relationship. (Marriage occurs between a man and a woman, but let me just say right now this isn't a discussion on homosexuality, so please, no tangents okay?)

Hebrews 13:4 says "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

For what its worth I've experienced sexual relationships both in and out of a marriage relationship. I understand now why God designed it with the purpose of marriage in mind. In my dating years, sexual relationships brought me a lot of pain and damage that goes so deep it sticks with me to this day. God heals, but this doesn't mean it isn't a painful process. Most people will say they have no regrets but I do. If I could take anything in my life back, I'd take back the fact that I experienced those things before I was married. We really do have a way of making a mess out of God's most beautiful gifts!

Now the obvious conflict with saving any sexual relationship until it is sealed in marriage is that we crave it, we're curious about it and we don't want to have to wait! We know we are allowed to ultimately do whatever we want. Another gift from God: free will. And again, what we do with it can be good and as it was intended, or perverted and complicated. As Paul says in 1Corinthians 10:23, “Everything is permissible”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”–but not everything is constructive. It is so true, isn't it? I'm sure that even if you don't see the issue of sex this way that you can point out other areas in your life that this makes perfect sense.

Satan knows us well. He hates us with everything he is because we are the object of God's affection. If you want to hurt someone you strike at what is most important to that person. Satan is effective, but his methods aren't necessarily clever. "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery." (Galatians 5:19 NIV)
"For everything in the world-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does-comes not from the Father but from the world." (1 John 2:16 NIV)

It goes all the way back to the garden of Eden. What did Satan tempt Eve with?

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman,
'Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?'
The woman said to the serpent, 'We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’
'You will not surely die,' the serpent said to the woman.'For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.'
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it." (Genesis 3:1-6 NIV)

You see basically the same thing in the forums here all the time. "Can I do this?" or "Is this wrong?" and then pretty soon someone comes along and starts saying "Did God really say..."

And now that this post is already too long, I'll try to sum it up: Of course you want to have sex. Of course you can have sex if you want. You're having a dilema because something inside you says there are some rules to this whole experience. You have access to seeing what God says about it in many forms: His Word, other believers, and the Holy Spirit speaking to your heart. God wants the best for you and He isn't trying to wreck your fun, he sees things in a lot bigger terms than we do and knows sex is best experienced in a marriage relationship. After all, he invented it.

A bunch of us will post here and give you our two cents, but God's word holds far more weight. Some of us will tell you to wait. Others will tell you that you don't need to. No dilema you face will ever be different. They all boil down to this! When all is said and done, only one truth will be left standing. God's word is perfect and final. There are a million voices out there all screaming out some variation of truth, attempting to redefine it or put it in some perspective which empties it of its meaning or transforms it into something more suitable to our desires. Pick God's way and you will win every time. Don't get swayed by all the chatter!

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." (Matthew 7:13,14 NIV)