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Once time there was a real big antelope. His name was Rodriguez Guadalupe Melrose Tangy-Bangy III. He enjoyed a life of secluded and private privacy.

Guadalupe was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he. Seeing as those two phrases mean the exact same thing, however, it's quite useless to say both, but I sure did. Bring it.

Anyways, ole Guadalupe had his own private island, private beachm private tower, private room, private chamber pot, and private chamber pot in his private room in his private tower on his private beach on his private island.

So then he went to the private store he privately owned and inquired to buy his own private batteries. The store was empty.

"Why of course it's empty," thought Guadalupe after a while. "It's my own private store!"

And so Guadalupe walked up to the private store's private door and tried to open it, but it was locked.

"Why of course it's locked," thought Guadalupe after a while. "If it weren't locked, others could get into my private store and steal all of my things."

Unfortunately, when Guadalupe forced open his private door he heard a loud noise. It was the security alarm.

"Why of course I had a security alarm installed," thought Guadalupe after a while. "In case anyone ever busts through that door, it calls my private security officers to dispatch of them. Of course, when they see me here they'll know it's not a problem, so I'd better just wait for them so they don't have any trouble.

After waiting for a very long time, Guadalupe decided that he'd best not waste his time waiting around.

"Why of course there's no private security force," thought Guadalupe after a while. "If there was, they'd get into all of my private stuff, and that wouldn't be very private, now would it?"

But Guadalupe decided that he'd best stay there until the private security force, if they did indeed exist, was to show up.

And so Guadalupe went mad.