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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:35 pm
But still, I miss you. As much of a lier and you were and still are, and as much as you just hurt me, there were times where you weren't and didn't... there were times where I was happy to be with you... certainly not as happy as I am now. You were never as good as he is. You never will be. And I'm much better off this way... this way, I have everything I've wanted, but never felt I would ever have, or even deserved... I'm happy, in fact, the happiest I've ever been... I'm secure, I'm actually loved and I can love back. And the love is really there, it's not a mirage... It's not forced. There is no pain involved, no regret. I've got the best deal in the world, and compared to you, it's so much greater than you'll ever be.
I wouldn't dare change what I have now. I'm very glad about what happened. I'm glad I found something better. I'm glad I moved on. I guess... I feel guilty for how it happened... but had t not happened that way, things might not have turned out the same. But it's okay, because of what you had planned. You were just as dishonest as I was... I don't know...
I shouldn't miss you, but I do. I don't know how I can... but I can't stop it. I don't want to miss you, but I do. I don't understand why... I don't like it. I want it to stop...
If I've moved on, then why do I miss you like this?
I almost want to have not met you... but had I not met you, I wouldn't be here now, with him, happier than you could ever imagine, and I really am... Because of you, I grew. Because of you, I found I could have better.
Even though you're gone, you still manage to slide your leash around my neck, and tease me; pull me back, fill me with guilt, and hurt me... I thought I broke free of you a long time ago, but I guess I was wrong...
Could I get some scissors?
~~~~
This doesn't mean anything, it's just a bothersome feeling. It keeps biting at me, and won't go away. It's just annoying, is all... It changes nothing for us, so don't let it bother you... these feelings will pass with time, but not the ones I have for you... I love you.
I hope it's obvious that I split who this is directed to, and -who- it's directed to. :B
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:20 pm
Hmm, okay, all read, but don't delete it. It's okay, don't worry about it. It doesn't bother me as much as you probably think it would, if you think it would at all. *shrug* it's natural. As long as you don't end up missing him more.
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