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 Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:48 pm
Lately, I've been quite depressed. I'm not putting that out there for sympathy, I'm just saying that it would mean so much to me if you could try to sense when I'm trying to share my views on things because the slightest bit of rejection or bit of feeling of stupidity and insignificance will send me spiraling down. I have lived my entire life without a good, consistent friend for more than a year. Now that I've found people to talk to everyday and to depend on, I now know what I've been missing and any feeling that my friends are going to leave or that I've hurt someone in some way makes me start thinking with no end about all the things I've done wrong with my life. All the stupid mistakes that I realize are simply growing up, or hormones or whatever, but still feel like they're all my fault, that I'm a failure at all I do and that no matter how hard I try no one will acknowledge me for my full potential as I attempt to do with everyone else. Every day I'm nice, friendly, considerate, supporting, and trying my ******** damndest to keep everyone happy, but in my extreme efforts, I always find that once everyone's happy again, they leave me, the one who has kept our relationships together, behind to fall into the depths of my mind where my mind is engulfed in hopelessness and the feeling that the entire world is made up of ignorant bastards and the only reason I'm left alone is because everyone's minds have been warped to the point where they are never willing to show compassion and intelligence. Can no one carry out a decent conversation anymore? And without it ending in them trying to humiliate me? Is there not one person in this entire world that will hug me and comfort me as I have done for so long before? Has appreciation been obliterated in this cruel, hateful world?
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 6:22 pm
Honestly most people don't know how or care to have a decent converstation. In my oppinion the general public sucks! I've learned to listen to what they say and let most of it go in one ear and out the other. I've also learned that you shouldn't depend on other to make fun or to support you support yourself and join in with people who make you happy....don't always try to make others happy. I learned this my senior year of high school...you'll end up with more friends if you be yourself and not try to make everybody happy and don't worry what others think about you...the most important oppinion is your own. You'll find your best friends in the strangest places...most of mine I went to high school with for all 4 years and didn't really know them at all until the summer after graduation.
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