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 Posted: Sat May 05, 2007 5:37 am
SmithPresea frost-bitten-fairy Yvaine I recommend getting married, even at a courthouse, asap (that would be a civil union, and it's pretty cheap - possibly free, I'm not sure). That's simply a legal document linking the two of you that is recognized by most other conventional record-keeping. It is the only way you get a legal say in your partner's treatment should he end up in a hospital, and thanks to patient privacy reforms, being a spouse is usually the only way you can even get your loved one's medical records disclosed to you. Otherwise, his parents are his legal next of kin, until he has a child who's over 18. I'm not arguing moral right or wrong. I'm just saying it's...kind of necessary. i dont know where you live but theres a thing here called 'common law'. once you are with a person for 5/6 years, you become their 'common law husband/wife'. this gives you the same rights as being married, except in court. eg if me and his parents needed to come to an arrangement about say..his funeral. by common law, im his wife and i have a HUGE say. BUT if they took me to court, i dont have much chance. i DO agree that, for legal and security reasons, marriage is kind of neccessary. but ultimately its a piece of paper. what i dispute is people saying i need to marry before having another child. having a child in or out of wedlock is no longer an issue for the rational 90% of the world. how long has it been since a child born out of wedlock was shunned or shamed in the wester world? marriage isnt a desperate issue for parenthood. xx Huzzah for you! but marriage is not always necessary. There are 3 things you and your parnter need: Life Insurance, Power of Attorney and Wills. The last 2 should be "vanilla" for any attorney and only cost about $50 but the life insurance is crucial if you don't want to pay out of pocket funeral expenses in case anything should happen to you or your partner. It protects the entire family. And there can be no arguement with his or your family regarding funeral arrangements and dispensation of property. I saw a dear friend of mine go through hell when her partner died just before they got married. His family became a nightmare and tried to take over everything leaving her with nothing. She had no legal rights. So do try to find a friendly attorney (yes, they do exsist when you have so simple a request.) and take care of business. The POA is especially critical in a hospital situation for you and your babies. thank you so much for your message. i know of ever security measure you mention. we havent got any YET, because we are both still under 20. i know that, helth aside, either of us could get hit by a bus tommorow. rest assured, as soon as convenient, me and james will be getting all of it sorted. thank you for helping me prove marriage is NOT meccessary in these days!! xx
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2007 8:15 am
Since I'm Canadian, I have no clue about this POA thing? Does it have to do with the way the Healthcare system works in USA?
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2007 7:39 pm
Can I ask.... Quote: today we have same sex couples, couples with ivf children, threesome relationships and all sorts. What is wrong with IVF children?? I myself may have to do IVF to have a baby and they are baby regardless...this statement really urks me! Infact come monday I'm going to be registering to have our IVF baby. It upsets me to see this statement! What the hell is so wrong with a child created and then placed in a uterus? This baby will be soooo loved because we have longed for so long for it!! Infact after two and a half years of infertility and a miscarriage in December, this baby will be the most loved and special child to us besides our Angel baby in Heaven.
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 2:21 am
Destiny05 Can I ask.... Quote: today we have same sex couples, couples with ivf children, threesome relationships and all sorts. What is wrong with IVF children?? I myself may have to do IVF to have a baby and they are baby regardless...this statement really urks me! Infact come monday I'm going to be registering to have our IVF baby. It upsets me to see this statement! What the hell is so wrong with a child created and then placed in a uterus? This baby will be soooo loved because we have longed for so long for it!! Infact after two and a half years of infertility and a miscarriage in December, this baby will be the most loved and special child to us besides our Angel baby in Heaven. er, im sorry, what? first off, my twin brother and sister, tom and grace, are ivf children. i wasnt insulting ivf children, maybe you should go back and read it!! what i was saying was that nowadays we have such a mixed bag of family situations. in no way was i insulting ANYone and i myself am a little irked that you start on me without either a) actually reading my whole post or b) actually understanding it.
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 10:22 am
frost-bitten-fairy Destiny05 Can I ask.... Quote: today we have same sex couples, couples with ivf children, threesome relationships and all sorts. What is wrong with IVF children?? I myself may have to do IVF to have a baby and they are baby regardless...this statement really urks me! Infact come monday I'm going to be registering to have our IVF baby. It upsets me to see this statement! What the hell is so wrong with a child created and then placed in a uterus? This baby will be soooo loved because we have longed for so long for it!! Infact after two and a half years of infertility and a miscarriage in December, this baby will be the most loved and special child to us besides our Angel baby in Heaven. er, im sorry, what? first off, my twin brother and sister, tom and grace, are ivf children. i wasnt insulting ivf children, maybe you should go back and read it!! what i was saying was that nowadays we have such a mixed bag of family situations. in no way was i insulting ANYone and i myself am a little irked that you start on me without either a) actually reading my whole post or b) actually understanding it. Perhaps you shoudl think about the way you word your posts before you go saying something! Think about that!! If you know anything about IVF and all that jazz, you'll know just how many people make stupid ignorant comments. Why is IVF part of the mixed bag anyways?? Hmmm?? Don't get all up on me like that! I simply stated that your statement is very uneducated! Do not accuse me of not reading your whole post because I did!! Perhaps you should learn how to express yourself in a better way and then so many people wouldn't be saying half the things they did!
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 11:34 am
Destiny05 frost-bitten-fairy Destiny05 Can I ask.... Quote: today we have same sex couples, couples with ivf children, threesome relationships and all sorts. What is wrong with IVF children?? I myself may have to do IVF to have a baby and they are baby regardless...this statement really urks me! Infact come monday I'm going to be registering to have our IVF baby. It upsets me to see this statement! What the hell is so wrong with a child created and then placed in a uterus? This baby will be soooo loved because we have longed for so long for it!! Infact after two and a half years of infertility and a miscarriage in December, this baby will be the most loved and special child to us besides our Angel baby in Heaven. er, im sorry, what? first off, my twin brother and sister, tom and grace, are ivf children. i wasnt insulting ivf children, maybe you should go back and read it!! what i was saying was that nowadays we have such a mixed bag of family situations. in no way was i insulting ANYone and i myself am a little irked that you start on me without either a) actually reading my whole post or b) actually understanding it. Perhaps you shoudl think about the way you word your posts before you go saying something! Think about that!! If you know anything about IVF and all that jazz, you'll know just how many people make stupid ignorant comments. Why is IVF part of the mixed bag anyways?? Hmmm?? Don't get all up on me like that! I simply stated that your statement is very uneducated! Do not accuse me of not reading your whole post because I did!! Perhaps you should learn how to express yourself in a better way and then so many people wouldn't be saying half the things they did! nothing about my post is offensive! ivf IS part of a mixed bag. 50 years ago, we didnt have ivf children,same sex couples, sperm donars. my comments was meant to express how there are all KINDS of families now, with loads of different situations. if you took it the wrong way, thats not my fault. nothing about my comment indicates any kind of negative feeling towards ivf treatment. i think ivf is a miracle that gives families the chance to have children where before they couldnt. my father and step mum were trying for 10 years before they had ivf, and now i have my brother and sister who are amazing.i think its remarkable. if you want to find fault in my comment, go ahead, but i didnt say anything negative, or even IMPLY negativity. YOU found that yourself for some reason.
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 1:04 pm
I will not argue with a child. Good luck to you in the future!
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 2:11 pm
Destiny05 I will not argue with a child. Good luck to you in the future! child? alright, if thats how you feel. if you'd rather make snide remarkes as opposed to just apologising for being wrong then go for it. i may be young in years, but clearly you match that age in maturity.
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Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 1:07 pm
frost-bitten-fairy Destiny05 I will not argue with a child. Good luck to you in the future! child? alright, if thats how you feel. if you'd rather make snide remarkes as opposed to just apologising for being wrong then go for it. i may be young in years, but clearly you match that age in maturity.
So as to prevent further off-topic arguments I am locking this thread. If you have any questions you may PM me.
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