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I have a question and I felt the most honest people would be the ones I could find in the Pregnancy Subforum. Now I am not pregnant, but my roommate is, and I had a few questions. This is sort of a complicated story, so if you don't like to read, please don't skim and then give me some weird answer. Thanks.



Basically, my boyfriend and I of two years and his older brother (who is my age, my boyfriend is one year younger than me ^_^; wink and his brother's girlfriend (who became pregnant after they dated two months) were sort of pushed into having an apartment together. This is his brother's second child with a different girl; he had a son with another girl at 17 and left the girl in April 2006. July of the same year, he found this other girl and now they are having a child together. >_<;; They aren't financially responsible nor can they really afford much of what they are paying now (his brother has to pay 300$ in child support to the first son's mother every month.) Both of them work, he works a 9 dollar an hour job at a forklift parts company, and she works 25 hours a week as a Wal-Mart cashier. My boyfriend joined the Marines reserves in February and is due to return early next month for a while, and the whole time I am paying lots of bills due to my boyfriend's absence (more of the rent, all the cell phone bill, insurance, medication co pays, gas, food, electricity, etc.) and I am also a college student majoring in art. I waitress a lot at a restaurant a half hour from my house, or I am at school the two days I have off from work. Many times I do not eat at the apartment, and if I do, it's usually something that doesn't require much cooking. I generally clean up after myself, and I stay in my room a majority of the time. (My boyfriend's brother is somewhat of an a*****e and the hormonal whining and mood swings of his lazy girlfriend drive me insane.)

A majority of times, things like the following example happens. The pregnant girlfriend will cook meals, make messes, leave the garbage overflowing, the dishes will often rot in the sink until I do them...so the past two weeks nearly every day or every other day I was doing dishes and taking out the garbage and cleaning the bathroom in addition to working and going to school. It wasn't really my mess but I was hoping someone would pay attention to the fact that I was doing all the cleaning for a mess I didn't even contribute to. No such luck. Finally, Heather (pregnant roommate) decided two days ago since I stopped cleaning to scour a lot of the apartment and b***h the whole time. She did the dishes and everything too, but she cooked again after that so that mess is now in the sink. This happens every time and not once do they say thank you or wow Liz we appreciate it. Jim (boyfriend's brother) doesn't do s**t around the apartment. Heather and Jim don't even do their own laundry- Heather takes it to her parents' house and they do it. I haul my laundry to the laundromat and most of the time end up washing all the bath towels that we share because otherwise there will be none clean.

Heather is seven months pregnant. I realize there are things she cannot do, like moving furniture or scrubbing floors and things like that. I'm the oldest of four children and my mother's last two pregnancies she was either on partial bedrest or restricted to bedrest because it was so high risk. However, I work and go to school so much and they have destroyed anything I've tried to clean up. They don't clean up after themselves, and when Heather does clean, she complains about the apartment being such a mess although it is me that ends up cleaning her mess a majority of the time. It's really frustrating and I really hate living with them and I have a feeling that in two months or less (she's really big) when the baby comes its only going to get worse and I'm a bit concerned. They're going to use this baby as an excuse for continuing not to do anything and I'm tired of being a maid. I can't wait until our lease is up and my boyfriend is back from reserve training so I can get the hell out of here. I feel like the housekeeping around here and basically my questions are:

Am I asking too much of my pregnant roommate?
What sorts of activities are seven month pregnant women able to do?
Am I being a b***h for making her clean up so much, even though it is her and her boyfriend's mess? I know she has problems doing stuff sometimes. She's very vocal and whiny about every bodily function or problem that she has.
Can I do anything to help this situation? I don't want to leave nasty dishes when the baby is born due to possible bacterias and stuff like that. I'm also a very non confrontational person.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I would move out.
If she can't be bothered to clean up after herself while she's pregnant, she's going to do NOTHING once the baby is born.

Seriously, other than 'move out' I can't say much, because I think it's a really crappy situation.

OMG I'm so glad I'm not the only one that thinks this. I want to move out so bad but the lease ends on Halloween and I don't want to leave early because that will look very badly on me. Plus my boyfriend doesn't get out of Marines school until end of August but I definitely plan on moving out as fast as humanly possible.

I am really dreading the baby's arrival. As much as I adore children, I am not sure what kind of parents these two will be, and with her habits of not being able to even clean up after herself I have a feeling cleaning up after herself and a baby will be next to impossible to expect.

crying crying

Thanks for your advice...I am not pregnant, but I've never prided myself on being lazy and since I grew up as the oldest of four I was constantly babysitting and expected to clean up after myself and them at the same time.

Ding ding! That's what I think will happen, from everything you said.
Who's name is the lease in?

I know when i was pregnant standing to the dishes for more than a few minutes killed my feet and back, but it didn;t stop me. i sat on a chair while i did them. vaccumming actually she should not be doing. it can induce labor. but ya she can do somethings, dishes ( if uncomfortable standing, she can sit at the sink) light sweeping, dusting, she can fold laundry ( although i wouldn;t recommend that she carry the basket around) Also she she should use any harsh cleaners or anything with amonia in it. and once the baby is born she probably won;t be able to do much as she will be sore for the first 1-2 weeks, or if she had a c-section probably not for a month ( i know i had a c-section) .....but her boyfriend is perfectly capable of doing all the things that she can not. he is responsible for her now whether he likes it or not. so i would crack down on him.

I vacuumed, did dishes, scrubbed floors, mopped, laundry.. All sorts of things like that when I was pregnant. I had a normal healthy pregnancy, and I didn't have any problems. 3nodding

I even moved when I was 7 months pregnant. xd I didn't do a lot of heavy lifting, but I definitely picked stuff up that I shouldn't have.