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I just wanted to get some opinions on this hope u like it comments appreciated.

Once upon a time there was a girl who was born in the village hidden in the Sound, her name was Nakashima Yume. She was very beautiful and very wise. She had two brothers their names were Hayten and Yulrin. She had a dream it was to destroy her brother Hayten. Who had betrayed her family and had killed her other brother Yulrin. She was so upset that she became emotionless and cold she never smiles laughs or anything. She is a great ninja though she was going to be in Lord Orochimaru’s service like her parents. But one day she was lying in her bed thinking and someone came in to her room and killed her. But she didn’t leave the world she became an Angel. She killed the person that had killed her the night before. Then she went searching for her brother because she was now stronger than she was ever before.
“I’ve come to kill you Hayten for all of the things you’ve done to me and our family,” said Nakashima. Then she suddenly appeared behind him and she attacked him.
“You will never be as strong as me sister even if you are an angel you’ll never defeat me Naka (her nickname that Hayten gave to her),” screamed Hayten as he punched her in the stomach. Then he grabbed her hair and pulled out a kunai knife. Then he slit her throat and she fell into a memory of her childhood where she saw her brother and her family getting murdered.
“AHHH NO MOTHER, FATHER, BROTHER NO WHY DID YOU KILL THEM HAYTEN, WHY,” she screamed while tears streamed down her face.
“To achieve ultimate power and to get stronger. Why do you exist there is nothing special about you so why did our parents protect you so much? Is there something you want to tell me before you die Naka,” said Hayten. Then he grabs her throat and picks her up she struggles but she was not strong enough. Then she suddenly starts to glow in many colors. Then he drops her and covers his eyes.
“Do you really want to know why they protected me so much Hayten? They protected me because it was a good way of making sure that I didn’t escape from this tiny body it would have been easy but every time that I started to come out they would perform a spell that weakens me and I can’t fully escape and the only thing that comes out is chakra but now that they are gone and I can escape and destroy this world,” said Nakashima. Then she was surrounded by a bluish kind of fire then she disappeared. Then she appeared behind him and pulled out a throwing needle and stabbed him numerous times until she couldn’t hear his heartbeat anymore.