|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 11:30 am
I have encountered something strange lately and was wondering if anyone else on here has run into the same issue.
I am a very spiritual person. Not right-wing, everyone must think like me for only I know the way religious, just very spiritual. In any case, I'm spiritual enough that it comes across to others. I tend to choose my words carefully so as not to alienate/scare my coworkers when the topic comes up, but I have found that this leads them to get the wrong idea about me. They seem to think that just because I believe in God, it means that I believe in the rest of the bs that seems to go along with religion. This might have a lot to do with the fact that I live in Texas, but it irks me sometimes. I feel like I'm lying to people. I don't like that, but I also don't want to make my life at work more difficult than it needs to be. I don't see anyone from work outside of my job, but since I spend a lot of time there, I feel like I spend a good chunk of my life being phony.
A perfect example: I'm adamantly childfree. When I tell people, the standard reaction is either people telling me that they didn't want children either until they got pregnant, or suggesting that I had better get myself surgically sterilized as soon as possible. What they fail to understand is that, while I naturally plan to take the necessary preemptive measures to avoid pregnancy, the truth is that if the preemptive measures failed, I'd abort. Of course sterilization would be the optimum choice here, but it carries a lot more risks than standard birth control, not to mention the fact that I can't afford it. But of course, admitting that I'd ever consider having a *gasp* abortion would mean that I'd be ostracized and looked down on by most of my co-workers.
Not that I can't be pro-choice, mind you. It seems like most of the people I work with think that it's perfectly okay to let other women have abortions. It's only a bad thing if I want one for myself. Then I'm a baby-killing heathen.
Okay, [/rant]. I'm done. Sorry about the long post. I've just needed to get this off my chest for awhile.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 12:27 pm
I volunteer at a charity thrift shop, and most of my co-workers are old ladies. While some of them dislike Bush, many of them seem pretty conservative. Most of them also help out at a local Catholic Church, and some even help out at pro-life organizations. I haven't even mentioned being pro-choice around them, because while I do like having constructive debates with people when their arguments are respectful and intelligent (which is hardly ever the case), I'm always afraid to get into debates with elderly people because according to some people, it's "disrespectful" to disagree with them. They have the age advantage, they're (supposedly) wiser and smarter than I am. Even though most of them were raised Catholic, in a time where birth control was illegal and moral stanards were much stricter than they are today.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 12:31 pm
People usualy assume two things of me which gives me issues.
1: that since my entire family is catholic - that I am, which I am NOT.
2: OR when they learn that I'm not catholic or that I am atheist, they assume instantly that I worship the devil or practice wicca etc.
Wtf. wicca isn't even devil worship.
Do people not understand the concept of atheism?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 12:46 pm
Quote: A perfect example: I'm adamantly childfree. When I tell people, the standard reaction is either people telling me that they didn't want children either until they got pregnant, My mom tells me this whnever I mention I'd rather rip out my ovaries and sell them for adoption money than give birth (but not in those words). I can understand her reasoning, but it's still irritating as hell.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 3:34 am
i can kinda see where you're coming from. whenever something about controversial is brought up at work i almost always change the subject to some friendly banter about music or something similar. not that i don't welcome intelligent discussion concering controversial issues in today's society, but if i know my co-workers even a little, i'm not going to get that intelligent discussion from them. all i would succeed in doing were i to engage in such conversation would be to create a hostile work envrionment. someone would whine to the general manager, and my hours would be cut because so-and-so doesn't want to work with me anymore because i'm a bleeding heart, baby killing, femnazi whore. =/
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 7:29 pm
Freedom Fire I'm always afraid to get into debates with elderly people because according to some people, it's "disrespectful" to disagree with them. They have the age advantage, they're (supposedly) wiser and smarter than I am. Even though most of them were raised Catholic, in a time where birth control was illegal and moral stanards were much stricter than they are today. I hate that! I was arguing with my uncle about prop 85* and he kept insisting "When you're older and a parent you'll change your mind." When I told him that I wouldn't, he got really condescending and rude. "Oh, so you're never going to get any smarter than you are right now? That's sad." I also really hate it that abortion is the new scarlet letter. It's so controversial, nobody mentions it for fear of a war breaking out. Even when you're already talking about something controversial that already involves abortion, like sex and unwanted pregnancy. People always assume that every unwanted pregnancy will end in having and raising a child. People who try to shame teens out of sex do it all the time "Oh, so you'd really be willing to risk ruining your life and making your parents take care of your kid?!" And when they say something like that, you know you can't even mention that you'd just have an abortion. *Attempt at a parental notification for abortion law in California last year. Failed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:33 pm
Oh snap, don't worry!! A lot of people are convinced that pro-choice women are evil sluts who want to force EVERY woman to abort and be childfree and work outside the household....
Same with me, when I tell people I'm vegan, they expect me to shove PETA down their throats and call them murderers and yell "POOR COWS!" and all that other bullshit. rolleyes
Stereotypes..... *sigh*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 6:30 pm
..Le Chat du Noir.. Oh snap, don't worry!! A lot of people are convinced that pro-choice women are evil sluts who want to force EVERY woman to abort and be childfree and work outside the household.... Same with me, when I tell people I'm vegan, they expect me to shove PETA down their throats and call them murderers and yell "POOR COWS!" and all that other bullshit. rolleyes Stereotypes..... *sigh* Oh, wow, we're in almost the same boat. I'm a vegetarian and every time I or someone else mentions it to someone who didn't know, the automatic reaction is "I like meat -_-" and then they stare at me as though daring for me to freak out on them and scream about murder of cows and chickens. *sigh*
As for pro-choice assumptions, people are usually pretty cool about it to my face, at least. Then again, I don't really wave it around and only talk about it if it comes up or I'm with people I know, well, won't hate me (very small conservative town where I WOULD be labelled a baby-killer and a whore and a heartless b***h if the general public knew).
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:05 pm
I know what you mean...
One of my friend's had a cousin over, who has a baby kid, and went to the mall with her cousin and some of her other family members. She was stared at grossly because she was carrying her cousin's kid. neutral
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 5:26 pm
PhaedraMcSpiffy Freedom Fire I'm always afraid to get into debates with elderly people because according to some people, it's "disrespectful" to disagree with them. They have the age advantage, they're (supposedly) wiser and smarter than I am. Even though most of them were raised Catholic, in a time where birth control was illegal and moral stanards were much stricter than they are today. I hate that! I was arguing with my uncle about prop 85* and he kept insisting "When you're older and a parent you'll change your mind." When I told him that I wouldn't, he got really condescending and rude. "Oh, so you're never going to get any smarter than you are right now? That's sad." I also really hate it that abortion is the new scarlet letter. It's so controversial, nobody mentions it for fear of a war breaking out. Even when you're already talking about something controversial that already involves abortion, like sex and unwanted pregnancy. People always assume that every unwanted pregnancy will end in having and raising a child. People who try to shame teens out of sex do it all the time "Oh, so you'd really be willing to risk ruining your life and making your parents take care of your kid?!" And when they say something like that, you know you can't even mention that you'd just have an abortion. *Attempt at a parental notification for abortion law in California last year. Failed. I never seem afraid to bring up abortion in controversial debates, even though I know it will turn into a moral bloodbath. No matter what you're talking about, even if it's in a feminist forum, there's always someone who will say abortion is murder and teen girls who have sex are whores, stuff like that. I just feel like this issue needs attention, we can't just ignore it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:07 pm
PhaedraMcSpiffy I also really hate it that abortion is the new scarlet letter. It's so controversial, nobody mentions it for fear of a war breaking out. Even when you're already talking about something controversial that already involves abortion, like sex and unwanted pregnancy. People always assume that every unwanted pregnancy will end in having and raising a child. People who try to shame teens out of sex do it all the time "Oh, so you'd really be willing to risk ruining your life and making your parents take care of your kid?!" And when they say something like that, you know you can't even mention that you'd just have an abortion. *Attempt at a parental notification for abortion law in California last year. Failed. i HATE that. whenever i'm at work or out amongst my aqcuaintences (otherwise known as homies or buddies) and the conversation turns to the abortion debate i just tell them "don't get me started". then they always ask if i'm pro-life and i always respond "******** no". usually that's the end of it, but if some buttplug decides to push me i'm not afraid to point out all the fatal errors in their logic. in fact, i've "converted" some of my former friends to the pro-choice side of the argument by doing this. on the flip side, though, some of the arguments these people come up with piss me off. half the time they won't listen to my retort because they're too busy comparing notes with their buddies. then i just get pissed off and it ruins whatever we're doing. =/ it seems you're exactly right, because no one seems to mind discussing the war in Iraq, the death penalty, or other "controversial" subjects. when it comes to abortion, however, everyone flips s**t and, as Freedom Fire said, it turns into a moral bloodbath.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 1:47 pm
I just keep my mouth shut about my political views, my dietary choices, and my sexuality. It sucks, but it avoids fights.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Katie-Kat-the-Indubitable
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:27 pm
Kalathma I know what you mean...
One of my friend's had a cousin over, who has a baby kid, and went to the mall with her cousin and some of her other family members. She was stared at grossly because she was carrying her cousin's kid. neutral That happened to my sister. I was really sick and couldn't walk my son to school so my baby sister took him. She walked five steps into the school before the whispering started, one of the teachers asked "Isn't she a little young to have a kid?" The others said some really vicious things. She dropped him off and walked home but started bawling when she got inside. They said some really obnoxious stuff. My sister is FIFTEEN by the way and my son is seven. Only an idiot would think that it was her child! (I had a little chat with the rude teacher and the principal... the teacher was rebuked but it didn't make becky feel any better.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:41 pm
Suteko ..Le Chat du Noir.. Oh snap, don't worry!! A lot of people are convinced that pro-choice women are evil sluts who want to force EVERY woman to abort and be childfree and work outside the household.... Same with me, when I tell people I'm vegan, they expect me to shove PETA down their throats and call them murderers and yell "POOR COWS!" and all that other bullshit. rolleyes Stereotypes..... *sigh* Oh, wow, we're in almost the same boat. I'm a vegetarian and every time I or someone else mentions it to someone who didn't know, the automatic reaction is "I like meat -_-" and then they stare at me as though daring for me to freak out on them and scream about murder of cows and chickens. *sigh*
Same here. And it's REALLY funny when these crazies find out that you're both pro-choice and vegetarian/vegan, right? "OMG you DO care about a cow more than a baby human!" rolleyes Freedom Fire I never seem afraid to bring up abortion in controversial debates, even though I know it will turn into a moral bloodbath. No matter what you're talking about, even if it's in a feminist forum, there's always someone who will say abortion is murder and teen girls who have sex are whores, stuff like that. I just feel like this issue needs attention, we can't just ignore it. Exactly. I feel like it's so stigmatized and so loaded and so important that we NEED to stand up and talk. Especially after today's ruling...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 5:01 pm
crystal_pepzi Kalathma I know what you mean...
One of my friend's had a cousin over, who has a baby kid, and went to the mall with her cousin and some of her other family members. She was stared at grossly because she was carrying her cousin's kid. neutral That happened to my sister. I was really sick and couldn't walk my son to school so my baby sister took him. She walked five steps into the school before the whispering started, one of the teachers asked "Isn't she a little young to have a kid?" The others said some really vicious things. She dropped him off and walked home but started bawling when she got inside. They said some really obnoxious stuff. My sister is FIFTEEN by the way and my son is seven. Only an idiot would think that it was her child! (I had a little chat with the rude teacher and the principal... the teacher was rebuked but it didn't make becky feel any better.) a few years ago when i'd be at the store with my mom and she'd ask me to take one of my little sisters to look at something people would give me weird looks. i always made a point to say loudly "WHERE'S MOM?". then the people would all look away. at the time i was 15-16 and my sister was 5-6, so you'd think it would be obvious, but i look a little old for my age.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
