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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 6:27 pm
Here is a new one from meh!!! I wrote this while debating my relationship... The way I see it, our relationship is either perfect or looks hopeless... Up and down like a damn roller coaster... But I guess that's how my life's always been. It's always either Heaven or Hell. There's never been an inbetween for me. Anyway... Here it is! Sea of Lies!
There’s a black field below a snowy mountain The silent shadows fly circles around it A chilly breeze blows and I’m surrounded by doubt Something here just doesn’t quite fit I’ve heard them before as they screeched in my ear They know things that others can’t begin to fathom I try to translate their screeches but it hurts me too much Their voices so painful I slowly go numb Vanished in the wind I let go of myself And it’s so tranquil that I can hardly see Alone in the world with just bone, blood, and flesh An empty hollow for no one to see Cowering down in a sea of lies I know there’s something I have to find Lost is my soul and dark is my heart But at least I’m still in my right state of mind
Falling back now repeating the old It’s time to lie down and rest our heads Emotions drain empty as we feel ourselves weak Now all we can do is pass out on our beds Why is everything always spinning? Those we care about fade out of view We hold on to ourselves and slowly we cry We know there’s nothing that we can do Bare feet upon the cold hard ground Back to reality where I belong Take a step forward, first one, than two I must continue though the days are long Cowering down in a sea of lies I know there’s something I have to find Lost is my soul and dark is my heart But at least I’m still in my right state of mind
The walls have now crumbled and I can see what’s inside A weak beating heart and a slow breaking mind Is this truly what I have been looking for? Was this really worth leaving everything behind? There must be something here that I can salvage And I’m still searching despite the harsh wind After everything I’ve risked and everything I’ve done Perhaps this is punishment for all I have sinned I collapse in the rubble, nothing more I can do I lay my arms down to rest at my sides I feel myself drowning in that sea of lies Defeated by the relentless tides Once more cowering in a sea of lies There’s still something I have to find Gone is my soul and broken is my heart But somehow I’m still in my right state of mind
Hope ya'll enjoyed! Tell me what you think! And take a shot at interpretating it... I always love getting everyone's viewpoints one what I write! biggrin
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Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 5:51 pm
wow.....sigh. All I can say is that you're hurting each other more than loving each other. This sounds like a Love/Hate relationship. You know you're hurting being together. You both need to heal before you begin to love. What you both have is a damaging love. You both need to step back and take a breather. Of course this is just my interpretation of your wonderful poem....^_^
Sin, Halo_Rising mrgreen
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Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 2:06 pm
Yeah, I agree with Halo. To me, It seems more of a love/hate relationship than anything.
But altogether, it was great, the only thing I'd suggest was separating it into smaller stanzas. . . To make it easier on the eyes (For me, anyway.. haha)
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Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 7:32 pm
Thanks, both of ya!!! 3nodding Heh, the funny thing is, it's not a hate/love relationshipe at all. cool The only problem in our relationship is his family... long long story. Gah. But he can't get away from them... so it feels like our relationship is going no where. That's what the poem is about, me trying to figure out what makes his family so dysfunctional... The very last part is just a view of what the future could be if he never gets away from them. Heh, I could put up a whole translation of the poem... But really, the joy in poetry is to interpret it yourselves... Because as with all poetry, there are many different stories and meanings behind it. ^^;
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