Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm a pagan. I'll have been practicing a year in June, but I've been reading tarot for about thirteen months.

A couple of nights ago, I felt the urge to do a tarot reading. Normally I do these very informally, but when i have a lot of things I'm wondering about, I'll cast a circle and read by the light of a dozen or so candles (I find this very relaxing and good for focusing).

Well, I was shuffling the cards. I always state my question two or three times in my head, and then once out loud. As soon as I stated the question the first time in my head, my cards just slid right out of my hands and straight out of the circle.

It freaked me out, and it took me a few seconds to gather myself before I could collect my cards, adjust the circle, and then try again.

I've been trying to do past life stuff. I'm not very sensitive or good at meditation, so the only way for me to do that sort of thing, or to communicate with spirits is to do it through the cards. That night when I was asking questions, I kept pulling cards that seemed to mean "stop asking questions." My first thought was, "What the hell?" so I decided to do a different spread for a different question. Rather than looking to the past, I did a spread for this summer and an internship I'm planning. The cards I drew were all spiritual in their nature, and seemed to be saying that I was going to have a major change in my beliefs, like I wasn't going to be pagan any more by the time I got back (very odd, because I really dislike Christianity and organized religion in general).

Anyway. It freaked me out just a bit. I was wondering what you all thought about this. I'm sure many of you have much more experiance at this than I do.

listen to what your being told is all I can say. Whatever the reason, your deck and the spirits connected to it seemed to be determined to push you away from the subject of your past life. If whatever secret they're protecting is important enough to be so forceful, just trust that it's for your own good and let it go for now. You still might learn more in the future, there's no need to rush it.

And please don't worry. I understand why you would be a little freaked out, but I don't see any reason for you to worry quite yet...

As for the second part of your problem, I agree with Ice Djinni Kaidreil. Just trust in yourself and your deck and you'll do fine.

Okay, I personally am not into Tarot cards, neither are most of my friends, my girl friend used to be involved with fairie(sp?) cards, but its been like a year since she's done anything with them...anyway...

This is comming from personal experience, not really an understanding of magicks but having a major change in your beliefs probably has nothing to do with christianity, or really any of the major religions. More or less its probably something more like a paradox shift. your still goign to believe many of the same thigns you do now, however its goign to be seen in a completely different perspective. For example most of the people in the world believed the Newtons laws of gravity were finite and they were the only view on hwo physics worked until Einstine came along with the theory of relativity, changing the entire scope of modern physics. We still follow the basics that Newton had discovered, however we are able to take on a different perspective of his laws and apply them to further fields now.

I wouldn't worry much about it, rather just take what the cards have told you and keep in mind that things can always change.

I found out what happened to my cards. I share an apartment with three other people. Two are pagans and all of us read tarot. Alice is sort of our "coven leader", though we don't have enough people for a real coven. She's the most experianced and powerful.

Anyway. Her spirits taught her this really complex spread involving nine pairs of cards taken from two decks. It takes a lot to read this spread, and I've only seen her use it on a few occasions.

She's been avoiding using it, but the other night, her spirits insisted that she do a reading for myself and one of our roommates using that spread, to get her more used to it as well as reading for other people.

At the end of my reading, they informed her that they had messed with all of my decks except one (the one I can't read) so that she would be forced into practicing it, and also to try to get me to use the bad deck (if you're wondering, it's the Cleopatra deck, and honestly, the imagery used on these cards has nothing to do with the true meaning. As an intuitive reader, this makes it almost impossible for me. Especially since they use Italian translations of god's names, rather than the Greek that I'm used to).

So the messages and problems I was having was my roommates spirits deciding to mess with us. Fun. biggrin Living with so many witches and spirits definately makes things interesting.




Alice said my cards should be back to normal by Monday, but I'm going to cleanse them anyway.

Physically, I have been feeling off lately (college diet, mostly). Can't go to the doctor though because the family doc retired and his replacement is horrible. Haven't found a new one yet.