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 Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:10 am
This past year, I have gotten to know quite a number people who identify as androgynous or transgendered. This has been a truly eye-opening experience, and one that raises more than one question of identity.
Prior to this, I had identified myself as bisexual. Men and women represented all genders to me, no more, no less, and so the label seemed apt. The bisexual community takes liberty in defining the bisexual experience as one where gender does not matter, and I took to this with reluctant pride.
But this is wrong: male and female are not all that there is. Gender, like sexuality, often refuses to adhere to the norms of society. I have known people whose very existence defied binary description, and whose character would implore me to respect this.
In essence, if the bisexual community wishes to keep up the idea that it is "inclusive," and that it is the orientation in which "gender does not matter," it cannot be bisexual. Bi means two, and there are plenty more than that.
I've toyed with the word pansexual, and it fits to a point. I do not disregard gender, I am simply attracted to all gender varieties -- though some to varying degrees. I respect everyone's gender identity, and it is only one factor that makes up their whole. Gender, frankly, is not the point in love. Unfortunately, pansexuality has been repeatedly ill-defined and misunderstood. Definitions that have passed through my ears, aside from being incorrect, have biased me against using it to describe myself.
I am starting to slip from the concern for labels; few people find themselves properly defined by a single label. I do not like having to say "I am queer/pan; I am predominantly attracted to other women and to androgynes, but I am also attracted to men and to other gender variations," nor do I like being seen as a question mark to those who don't understand the idea of refusing generic orientation labels. But I would not be keen on perpetuating a lie that is every bit as enforced by binary society as the idea of the heterosexual norm.
It is, of course, not a concern if someone really is attracted only to men and women [or, for that matter, only to men, or only to women]. You cannot control your orientation, as we all should know. I harbor no ill-will towards those who are truly only attracted to two genders. I would suggest, of course, that everyone brings in consideration for those who identify outside of the "standard" genders, but if there lacks attraction, no need to force it upon yourself.
The point, then, is simply that the myth that the bisexual community is all-accepting needs to be reconsidered, and that bisexuality will never represent all genders without refusing bisexuality itself, thereby embracing those who consider themselves gender variant.
After all, there are more than two types of people in the world.
~~~
Comments? Questions? Misunderstandings leading to rage? heart Discuss.
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 6:58 am
That was quite interesting to read. You just summed up the majority of what I've been thinking about lately, and quite eliquently I might add. Bisexuality isn't an inclusive enough term for me, but I'm hesitant to use the word pansexual because it seems to me that some people have the wrong idea of what it means.
Yet, I must disagree with you on your last point. I do believe that the bisexual community is a predominantly accepting one. While the term may not be all inclusive, the bisexual community tends to have strong ties with the transexual community. And while some people may be truely bisexual and atracted to only males and females, that doesn't mean that they do not respect gender variant individuals.
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:09 am
Interesting...
(made me realise I have much more to learn about the English language..)
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:39 am
Dark Eagle Babe Interesting... (made me realise I have much more to learn about the English language..) ((agreed))
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:47 pm
What exactly does pansexual mean?...
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:23 pm
Lavyne Yet, I must disagree with you on your last point. I do believe that the bisexual community is a predominantly accepting one. While the term may not be all inclusive, the bisexual community tends to have strong ties with the transexual community. True, but my meaning was more of bringing terminology to mesh with concept. I see, all the time, things along the lines of, "I like both men and women, I don't discriminate," etc., etc., all of which serve to alienate those outside of the usual gender binary system. The bisexual community may be a predominantly accepting ones in terms of respecting those who don't fit into that system, but they cannot take to claim that to (true) bisexuals, "gender doesn't matter." Maybe it doesn't matter for being respectful, but it certainly does to them for picking their mates. I suppose I should reword that later, though, for clarity. Quote: And while some people may be truely bisexual and atracted to only males and females, that doesn't mean that they do not respect gender variant individuals. Indeed, respect and orientation are different things. Ms. Angelus What exactly does pansexual mean?... Glad you ask, since I forgot to provide a definition there. Pansexuality is attraction to and acceptance of all gender varieties, whether male, female, transgender, androgynous, or anything else you can think of.
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:49 pm
i think that makes me pansexual then...
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