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 Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 7:25 pm
I hope this is an appropriate thing to post in this Guild, and if not I apologize.
There's a festival I usually go to every year, but this year I decided not to go. I'm not really sure why, except that I didn't feel like it. Wasn't in the right mindset. If any of you have big weekend-long festivals that you go to every year you'll probably know what I mean about the mindset. I guess you could say I was too depressed to go.
It freaks me out that I didn't want to go, and it makes me sad that I'm not going, and everything like that. I keep crying about it even though were I to have the chance I wouldn't go back and change my decision. I've been trying to figure out what my reasons are, more precisely than a general not feeling like it, and I've come up with stuff but I don't know if it's true. (I'm a writer, and sometimes when I'm trying to figure out the underlying reasons for human behavior I end up thinking about what would be interesting rather than what makes sense.) One theory, which I've dismissed, was that I've become a horrible person so I don't want to be around all the goodness. Another possibility is that, although not being a horrible person, I don't want to go because I'm afraid by being there in this mood I would taint it. That place is so amazing, everybody harmonizes, and I feel like this year I wouldn't be able to harmonize so well. A large part of it is probably that a very good friend of mine who used to go there died this past winter. It isn't like I never want to go again, in fact I'm sure that next year I'll go and have a great time, but this year it may have been too much to deal with. Whatever the reason, I think that I'll enjoy the festival more in future years if I skip it this year and start out again next year feeling enthusiastic about it - that festival isn't something that I'd ever want to risk turning into an obligation.
Anyhow, all that is really beside the point of this thread, it's just an explanation of my particular circumstance. What I'm wondering is, have any of you had something like this happen to you? Not wanting to do something but being upset that you don't want to do it? I suppose it isn't an exclusively festival question, but I really would appreciate hearing any similar-to-this festivals stories yall might have.
(Sorry about the long post, by the way... I got carried away redface )
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:27 pm
I know it's tough, but try not to be sad. Yeah festivals are fun, but it's not like they're a constant source of awesomeness. Sometimes it's the security, sometimes cops, sometimes just the feeling of being around lots of people you don't really know and who might not be on your same wavelength. My point is, there are always going to be some things about festivals that kind of suck. I heard that this last Bonnaroo really sucked. People had a bad time, got arrested and harassed, blah blah blah. Festivals are kind of tiring, I think. It's not really a restful getaway.
Then again, I missed Bonnaroo '04, when Ween played a ridiculous set. I got to drool over the setlist, and that's about it. I would have given my left kidney to have been there, throwing whiskey at the band.
So don't feel bad about not wanting to go to a festival. You aren't alone.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, too.
Sometimes I can't go to the festivals I want to. I think it's either the inflated ticket prices or the proximity of Dave Matthews which turns me off, I don't know. Plus, I have my job to attend to. I would like to catch All Good this year- apparently the Flaming Lips will be there. Keller's touring, Yonder Mountain is playing out, and life is good. Unfortunately, I have to work. My job is awesome enough to make up for it, but I'm still a little disappointed.
Sorry, my post looks a little disjointed, it's kind of late where I am and I'm feeling spacy.
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Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 4:54 pm
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