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 Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 11:18 am
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. WRITE DOWN THE DATES AND TIMES SHE PICKS HIM UP, AND WHEN SHE BRINGS HIM BACK.
IS HE WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES HE WAS WHEN HE LEFT? IS HE CLEAN/DIRTY? IS HE HUNGRY/THIRSTY?
ARE THERE ANY BRUISES OR SCRAPES? DOES HE SEEM HAPPY, OR UPSET, OR WITHDRAWN?
WRITE DOWN ANYTHING SHE SAYS THAT IS WORRISOME. EVEN OFFHAND COMMENTS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE SAID SERIOUSLY. (IE TALKING TO THE CHILD & SAYING SOMETHING SIMILAR TO, "ARE YOU READY TO RUN AWAY/RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET", ETC.)
ABOVE ALL ELSE, TRY TO KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS OUT OF IT. TRY NOT TO LET YOUR OPINION OF HER WORTH COLOR HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER NOW.
TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT, BUT MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT ACTING ON HER PAST BEHAVIOR AS OPPOSED TO HOW SHE IS NOW.
WHEN YOU TALK TO HER, DOES SHE ACT THE SAME/SPEAK THE SAME AS SHE DID PREVIOUSLY, OR DOES SHE SEEM LIKE A NEW/DIFFERENT PERSON?
HER PAST SHOULD BE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION, BUT IF SHE'S CURRENTLY CLEAN, IT MEANS SHE SHOULD HAVE ALL OF HER MENTAL FACILITIES INTACT, WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY DOES GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO SEE HER CHILD.
BUT, THE SECOND YOUR GUT SCREAMS AT YOU THAT HE IS IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO WITHHOLD HIM FROM HER--CALL THE POLICE AND FILE A REPORT IF YOU THINK SHE'S USING AGAIN AND SHE TRIES TO PICK HIM UP. BETTER YET, HAVE YOUR HUSBAND DO IT.
AS THE 'STEP' MOM, YOU UNFORTUNATELY HAVE NO LEGAL RIGHT TO HIM UNDER MOST LAWS. HIS FATHER, HOWEVER, HAS EVERY RIGHT TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR HIS SONS' WELLBEING AND SAFETY. PLAY THAT CARD IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT MAKE SURE YOU HAVE TO.
THE COURTS LOOK DOWN ON PEOPLE WHO CRY WOLF, SO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO GO ON BESIDES YOUR PAST EXPERIENCES WITH HER.
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Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 6:08 pm
heart well...what can i say...i think the people who have been with that child are the real loving parents of that child. that little boy's mother is the one who loves him, feeds, change, and cries when he falls and hurts himself. he's "real mother" doesn't have the right to just one day come back and become he's mother!!!!!! and she "use to" use drugs...yeah right...she might be clean now...get her a couple more months, she won't be that clean. once a person is turned on drugs it is hard get off. don't worry everything will come out for the better of that child...will at least it should. may god be with you and your family. heart
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