Recap So Far
Two similarly colored wolves danced through the trees at a leisurely pace, tongues hanging out. Both were obviously adolescents, neither big enough to be fully grown. The girl was mostly black, with silver on her chest, the tip of her tail and her feet. Crimson markings encircled her ankles. The male was black, with similar markings in silver around his front ankles, neck and tail. Both had the same yellow eyes, reinforcing the notion that they might be related. Which, in fact, they were. Firstborn son and middle daughter. He was obviously going to be big when fully grown, running with powerful strides; while his sister was more graceful, dancing through the underbrush.
"How far d' you think we are, Toby?" she called, slowing a little. He slowed, stopped and shrugged.
"Prob'ly on th' outs, Lin," he replied, looking back as she caught up.
Xieros had no idea where she was. The little pup was disorientated, exhausted, famished and looked like a train wreck. Her fur was matted with mud, and the little one looked half-starved. How long had it been since she'd had a good bit to eat. . .?
Who knew.
But Xieros couldn't stop. No no. The seers and shamens were out there, searching for her, lurking behind every shadow and whispering her name. Her brother had given her the choice of her future, and she'd chosen it. Run. If she stopped and she was too close to the lands, he had told her they'd kill her. . . .
And like hell if she was going to let that happen!
As kind as death had been to some of her family, Xieros knew deep in her heart that it wasn't time to die yet. Not now, not when she was so young. Her litter-mates had been young enough when the plague had hit, and her mother and father too.
The small handful that managed to survive, the shifting of rank, the scattering and slaughtering of the unwanted. . . .
Xieros shuddered at the memories that licked at the fringes of her memories. She couldn't stay there. . .
Not with him in charge.
One paw in front of the other. Running (though she was far from fast) the black and white stained pup didn't dare look behind her. What if they were there? Snarling and growling, waiting for her to show some sign of weakness. She would be strong. . . Xieros had no choice.
Oblivious to her surroundings, hobbling through the underbrush of the woods, she pushed herself between two trees and underneath the roots of some bushes. Lost within her own thoughts and fears, Xieros noticed too late two large wolves stopped before her.
Eyes going wide as plates, the black wolf did the only thing she could think of. . . . growl. Ears pasted to her skull, tail curling underneath her, she froze in place but kept the weak thrum in the back of her throat.
Maybe they were Adenru's cohorts. . .? What if they were special wolves. . .? Eaters of the dead, of the dying, the killers that waited to do her in. They had to be - HAD to be.
Adenru had told her they'd get her one day.
And today, it appeared, would be it.
Hearing a soft growl, Toby instinctively placed himself between the source and his sister. It was his duty to protect his sister and he would do so to the last of his ability. He swelled up as much as he could, baring his teeth and answering the growl in return. His was a little more imposing, and when he realized it, the wheels began turning...
Lindir beat him to it. She came around his flank, crouched low, studying the small form crouched into the ground. " 'Ello, lil' one," she said softly. She nudged her brother with her nose sharply and he stopped growling all of a sudden, perking his ears down at the black and white pup. "Don' worry, we're not gonna hurt you." She smiled a little. "Toby might look a lil' scary, but he's not at all."
"Thanks, Lin," he muttered, sitting back on his haunches. She looked back at him momentarily, then back at the pup.
"Where're you from, lass?"
Oh snap. Her heart fluttered in her chest (and not in a good way) when her growl was returned. How weak and pathetic she must have sounded, her little fangs bared at these ruthless killers. One swipe of his paw would send her rolling. One snap of his jaws and her head would soon be detached from her body.
But . . . no matter how terrified she was of the wolf, Xieros was stubborn. Though she lowered herself even further to the ground, instinctively groveling before the pair, she could only wait for them to eat her.
That's what Shamens did, she heard. Devour their prey after making their wounds burn and fester.
Adenru had been quite creative with his horror stories, and very, very descriptive. No wonder Xieros was terrified.
Still, something saved her - something called 'kindness', an emotion Xieros had yet to discover. The growling stopped, though the soft hum in her throat lingered a few more cautious moments. One eye looked up, studying this great female that investigated her curiously.
It took a moment for Lin's words to make sense within her mind. Not hurt her. . . .? How could she believe that? Two seconds ago they were ready to eat her and now they were telling her they were fine? Ears still folded back, and tail tucked, Xieros was caught between a rock and a hard place.
. . . . . who did she trust?
Surely not them!
They were just softening her up, stringing her along. . .right? Maybe. Body tense, the female took a long moment, looking from one to the other and back again.
"I'm from . . . ." Did she answer truthfully? Where they waiting to see if she responded properly? Was this a trick? Did she lie so they wouldn't laugh and eat her, or did she tell the truth and get devoured just because she was still much too close to Adenru's lands. . .?
He had said his territory was as big as the eye could see. And Xieros had yet to go blind. "I'm . . .from not here." She responded lamely, glancing around and honestly not having a clue. There were no familiar scents, no familiar features and everything looked . . .different.
Hanging her head, the little white faced wolf heaved an exhausted sigh. Now that she'd been stopped, she really didn't want to get up and run again. But . . if they were going to mutiltate her. . . well. . . . No. Looking up, a new flash of defiance in her eyes, the little black one took a few cautious steps in retreat. Hackles still raised, she gave a little snort. ". . . I won't go down without a fight. . . ."
Who was she trying to prove this to? Herself? Mostly. Xieros' confidence was lacking. . . . But just in case Lin and Toby were mean. Well. . . just let them try to eat her. She'd bite their tongues she would . . . . or at least she'd try.
Lindir laughed musically, then stopped abruptly. Her smile remained, however. She lowered herself to the ground, hoping it would help her level with this girl-pup. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to laugh at you. It was rude o' me. Whate'er makes you think there's going to be a fight? I tol' you, dear one, we're not going to hurt you." She looked back at Toby. "Are we, brother?"
"Nae, lass," Toby agreed, looking at the pup as gently as he could manage. She looked well haggard, like she'd been drug through knotholes and left to wring out. And she hadn't fed well in some time. Poor thing.
What would his father do?
Take the pup in, if she would let him.
"I'm sorry I growled at you," he finally said, trying to temper gruffness. He wouldn't have bothered, but he knew if he didn't try, Lindir would have his hide. She didn't take to anyone treating another badly, for whatever reason, and especially not her own brother treating a pup with fuss on his mind. But it was hard -- he had never come in contact with an outsider before, on his own, no less. "You caught me off-guard, lass. Didn' know where you were. Or who. If you'd kept runnin', you'd be well into the territory by sundown."
"I'm Lindir, lass, and he's Toby," his sister interrupted, stopping his rambling. "Are you all right?" The concern was clear in her voice.
. . what was going on here. . .? Who were they? This couldn't be right, not at all. . . could it . . . ? Everything she'd been told about the outside had been less than pleasing. Shadows and monsters and wolves a billion times larger than she with massive claws and fangs - wolves who could read minds and turn phobias in to realities. Shamens who could cause disease and plague and hurt.
All Xieros wanted was . . . .
. . .well . . . to run away.
That had been her chosen path. She knew she had a better chance of surviving against the unknown than she did wth Adenru. After her parents and litter mates passed with the dawning of the plague . . . life had quickly lost any sense of sympathy and kindness for Xieros. Adenru had been less than kind (as well as less-than-sane) but she and a small handful of bedraggeled survivors had been forced under new rule and new law.
With the former alphas and beta's gone, with Adenru fighting his way to take charge. . . everything had seemingly gone completely downhill.
Adenru wanted power and weakness was unacceptable.
Therefor, if she were to ever prove to the world that she was strong, she couldn't be weak. If she were to be strong, she couldn't be overly emotional, and therefor . . . therefor Lindir was weak?
No no . . .that wasn't right. Was it?
So young she was (hardly more than a few months old!) the small thing didn't know how to respond. The few memories she had of her mother, her father, her littermates she thought she recalled such pleasantries.
But those hadn't lasted long at all. . . .
Confused (to say the very least) Xieros continued to stay close to the ground, trying so very hard to keep the fear out of her voice, and yet throwing every visible sign to the siblings that she was terrified.
Maybe they weren't going to hurt her. . . .Did she trust them? Or just run away?
The female kept telling her she wasn't to be harmed, she wasn't going to be eaten. Maybe she could trust them all right . . . but what was with the way they spoke? Why didn't they talk right? And why did they keep calling her Lass? She wasn't Lass - who was Lass!?!
Two bright eyes looked from one to the other - Lindir and Toby ... "I'm not Lass, you know," she finally exclaimed, lowering her head as she scowled. "I'm Xieros." There - now they wouldn't confuse her with this Lass wolf anymore. Lass. . . what a stupid name anyway.
Not entirely sure what to do with herself, Xieros continued to stare at Lindir's paws. She sure was a caring wolf, or something. Why was she so concerned about Xieros. . .? No one else ever was, including herself! How could they be so friendly with a stranger. . . . ? Weren't strangers supposed to be eaten by others?
That's what Adenru had told her before she left. But more and more, Xieros was starting to believe that maybe (just maybe) Adenru didn't know what he was talking about.
"I'm just fine," Xieros finally retorted, flipping back her head and shaking out her fur. Bad idea. A bit dizzy thanks to hunger and exhaustion, her head spun for a moment and she all but fell over. Catching herself (but barely) she wound up plopping down on her rump to keep from looking like a fool.
"You don't have to worry about me. I've been taking care of myself," she added, puffing out her chest with pride. See? She was just fine. "I'm not weak you know, I'm strong." Oh how she wanted to believe it! Maybe if she said it enough, Lindir and Toby would believe it too?
"Xieros... Xieros," Lindir said, trying out the name. The first time she didn't get it quite right, but the second round came out fine. "I can see how strong you are." Lindir nodded to accentuate her agreement. "Do you have a pack, Xieros?"
Toby could see where his sister was going with this. Bring the pup into the pack, another new member. Maybe her parents, if they're around somewhere... But he knew, somewhere in his heart, that Xieros' parents aren't nearby. He knew because if they were, they would've been there by now and Xieros wouldn't have been running so hard.
Distantly, he heard Lindir continue. "We have other strong wolves in our pack. Maybe you could join us."
The black and white pup was still torn. Whatever did she do? Her faith and trust in any wolf had been destroyed at a very tender age. It wasn't entirely Adenru's fault, but his lies and stories and threats hadn't helped the young ones judgement. Her poor mind may be broken, but it wasn't completely shattered.
Her future was not yet decided upon her past, but would be molded as she went along.
There was hope for the black and white pup yet. . . . but it wasn't necessarily going to be easy to find.
Running in to Lindir, though, and her brother was a step in the proper direction. To save Xieros from her nightmares would help balance her out in the future. To be some place safe, to learn that her misgivings weren't entirely based on fact. . .
Good could be done, if the fates (and Xieros' fear and stubborness) didn't get in the way.
Certain that Lindir would cut her down, the dark eyed pup almost gaped when she heard Lindir's reaction. She agreed with her strength? Truly? Realizing that her surprise was most obvious, the little pup puffed out her chest and gave a broad, toothy smile. It was supposed to look intimidating, and help show her strength. "I'm so strong I . . . . " She hesitated, casting an uncertain glance from Toby to Lindir.
If she was strong was that why she was alone? Was she honest and did she tell them of Adenru and her life besides plague? Did she speak of her parents, the loving gammas they were, or lie? How truthful could she be with these strangers. . . .?
"I . . . " A new pack with strong wolves?
Uhoh.
If there were strong wolves. . . Adenru had been strong - very strong. If she joined a new pack, wouldn't they eat her alive? Would they treat her as Adenru had his wolves. . . ? Would life be as traumatizing for an outsider as she had been told?
They had said that if she left, she'd be nothing. If the shamens and seers didn't torment her with their magics, than no pack would ever take her in. Not without false promises, not without ripping her body to rags.
". . . I don't know. . . . ." She didn't want to show either wolf that she was afraid of what waited further in pack territory. She didn't want to show that she was honestly scared out of her wits end, exhausted, and frightened about everything. The shadows around her scared her, no matter how tough she talked.
"I think I could take care of myself all right." Lies - lies and deception. But Lindir and Toby (or so Xieros believed) would never be able to tell. She was too good a lier to let them witness the truth.
If these two wolves thought she was going to fall for their trap . . . oh no - Xieros was not going to be an outcast and a scapegoat all her life. No. Way.
Lindir glanced back at her brother with a gentle smile as Xieros swelled with self-pride. She was of the opinion that the little pup was indeed strong, but powerfully frightened of something. She saw no reason that the pack could not or would not help the young female -- if she would let them, that is.
Toby carefully lowered himself to the forest floor, tail thumping the ground twice. "Y' know," he said all of a sudden, "your coloring's very much like our family's. All black and white and red." He cocked his head to the side, studying her, his tone sounding of reminiscence.
Lindir laughed again, that musical sound, before zeroing back in on Xieros gently. "I've got no doubt that you're strong enough t' strike out on your own," she said in her classic lilt. "But we'd be more than happy to help you out, for a little while at least. That is, if you'd let us, Xieros."
"The pack would be happy to have another good, strong wolf," Toby added gently.
The black and white pup was still torn. In her naivetee, she was caught between a rock and a hard place. If she stayed on her own, deep down, the little one new she wouldn't last long. As much as she hated to admit she needed help or assistance, the stubborn puppy was close to collapsing. She was far too young to be able to hunt effectively, and after failed attempt after failed attempt, the little thing had all but given up.
She'd eat later . . . . but if she didn't find sustinance soon enough, her little puppy life would be cut drastically short.
On the other hand, the nightmares weaved and told her after the plague still haunted her. She understood how things worked within a pack. . . . sort of. Her memories of 'the good ol' days' with her parents and littermates was hazy. She had been only a few weeks old when the sickness arrived, on top of alread famished times, so when Adenru took over the pack and wove tails of unimaginable horrors to Xieros and her remaining sibling, she had started out on her journey with caution and mistrust.
The entire world was out to eat her, she was sure of it. Kind words could be easil laced with lies and deception, and nothing good ever seemed to last.
Now, face to face with the black and white wolves named Toby and Lindir, Xieros didn't know which path to choose. Neither ending looked good.
But. . . her black ears twitched and she eyed Lindir with a small touch of interest. Had she said 'for a little while'. . .? As in the situation wasn't forever? As in she wouldn't be the scapegoat in the pack until her dying day?
. . .of course. How could she have been so silly? If the abuse got bad enough, she'd just run away again or at the very least die trying. Nothing said she had to stay with these new ones, but perhaps she could use this to her advantage? If they killed her when she arrived - fine. What did it matter? She'd be dead soon enough and returned with her beloved family before her. But if they didn't eat her completely, why couldn't she stay?
Only for a day or two, just enough to get a meal and then she could disappear again.
Yes. . .
Desperation and instinct demanded companionship, as well as a need for food.
No matter what happened, no matter which path she traveled, the ending was completely unknown. Lindir and Toby said kind things now, but once back upon their lands who was to say they'd stay just as sweet?
Well, Xieros didn't have to trust them in the least. She knew that they'd change - oh yes. She knew. But that didn't mean she wouldn't go along with their bittersweet deception.
Looking over at Toby, the little pup gave a little wag of her striped tassle, slowly untucking it rom her rump. Well, if they were black and white too. . . . that's what her family had been. . . before Adenru.
"Well. . ." she started softly, hesitantly, ears still glued to her head and body lowered to the ground.
There was always a way to run away, she reminded herself. This wasn't her being weak, this was her taking advantage of the situaiton. That's right! She wasn't weak. . .she'd be strong. She never had to trust any of these new wolves, but just maybe she could amuse them. . .
Just for a little while, Lindir had said.
"Well I'll. . . I'll . . . I don't need help," she carefully clarified, not wanting to admit to being completely helpless, "but I . . ." Her pride had to come down. Unable to think of anything to say, the small black and white pup lowered her head so her nose touched the ground. Heaving a wounded sigh, the little one gave the gentlest of whimpers. "I am a little hungry. . . ."
That was that.
So much for ever being strong. Now they probably wouldn't want to help her, or keep her. Weak wolves were nothing but trouble, and outcasts, and unwanted (or so she'd heard). Now that she was weak and dependent and needy. . . .
Oh well.
Whatever did it matter? Being hungry was by far better than being dead.
"How far d' you think we are, Toby?" she called, slowing a little. He slowed, stopped and shrugged.
"Prob'ly on th' outs, Lin," he replied, looking back as she caught up.
Xieros had no idea where she was. The little pup was disorientated, exhausted, famished and looked like a train wreck. Her fur was matted with mud, and the little one looked half-starved. How long had it been since she'd had a good bit to eat. . .?
Who knew.
But Xieros couldn't stop. No no. The seers and shamens were out there, searching for her, lurking behind every shadow and whispering her name. Her brother had given her the choice of her future, and she'd chosen it. Run. If she stopped and she was too close to the lands, he had told her they'd kill her. . . .
And like hell if she was going to let that happen!
As kind as death had been to some of her family, Xieros knew deep in her heart that it wasn't time to die yet. Not now, not when she was so young. Her litter-mates had been young enough when the plague had hit, and her mother and father too.
The small handful that managed to survive, the shifting of rank, the scattering and slaughtering of the unwanted. . . .
Xieros shuddered at the memories that licked at the fringes of her memories. She couldn't stay there. . .
Not with him in charge.
One paw in front of the other. Running (though she was far from fast) the black and white stained pup didn't dare look behind her. What if they were there? Snarling and growling, waiting for her to show some sign of weakness. She would be strong. . . Xieros had no choice.
Oblivious to her surroundings, hobbling through the underbrush of the woods, she pushed herself between two trees and underneath the roots of some bushes. Lost within her own thoughts and fears, Xieros noticed too late two large wolves stopped before her.
Eyes going wide as plates, the black wolf did the only thing she could think of. . . . growl. Ears pasted to her skull, tail curling underneath her, she froze in place but kept the weak thrum in the back of her throat.
Maybe they were Adenru's cohorts. . .? What if they were special wolves. . .? Eaters of the dead, of the dying, the killers that waited to do her in. They had to be - HAD to be.
Adenru had told her they'd get her one day.
And today, it appeared, would be it.
Hearing a soft growl, Toby instinctively placed himself between the source and his sister. It was his duty to protect his sister and he would do so to the last of his ability. He swelled up as much as he could, baring his teeth and answering the growl in return. His was a little more imposing, and when he realized it, the wheels began turning...
Lindir beat him to it. She came around his flank, crouched low, studying the small form crouched into the ground. " 'Ello, lil' one," she said softly. She nudged her brother with her nose sharply and he stopped growling all of a sudden, perking his ears down at the black and white pup. "Don' worry, we're not gonna hurt you." She smiled a little. "Toby might look a lil' scary, but he's not at all."
"Thanks, Lin," he muttered, sitting back on his haunches. She looked back at him momentarily, then back at the pup.
"Where're you from, lass?"
Oh snap. Her heart fluttered in her chest (and not in a good way) when her growl was returned. How weak and pathetic she must have sounded, her little fangs bared at these ruthless killers. One swipe of his paw would send her rolling. One snap of his jaws and her head would soon be detached from her body.
But . . . no matter how terrified she was of the wolf, Xieros was stubborn. Though she lowered herself even further to the ground, instinctively groveling before the pair, she could only wait for them to eat her.
That's what Shamens did, she heard. Devour their prey after making their wounds burn and fester.
Adenru had been quite creative with his horror stories, and very, very descriptive. No wonder Xieros was terrified.
Still, something saved her - something called 'kindness', an emotion Xieros had yet to discover. The growling stopped, though the soft hum in her throat lingered a few more cautious moments. One eye looked up, studying this great female that investigated her curiously.
It took a moment for Lin's words to make sense within her mind. Not hurt her. . . .? How could she believe that? Two seconds ago they were ready to eat her and now they were telling her they were fine? Ears still folded back, and tail tucked, Xieros was caught between a rock and a hard place.
. . . . . who did she trust?
Surely not them!
They were just softening her up, stringing her along. . .right? Maybe. Body tense, the female took a long moment, looking from one to the other and back again.
"I'm from . . . ." Did she answer truthfully? Where they waiting to see if she responded properly? Was this a trick? Did she lie so they wouldn't laugh and eat her, or did she tell the truth and get devoured just because she was still much too close to Adenru's lands. . .?
He had said his territory was as big as the eye could see. And Xieros had yet to go blind. "I'm . . .from not here." She responded lamely, glancing around and honestly not having a clue. There were no familiar scents, no familiar features and everything looked . . .different.
Hanging her head, the little white faced wolf heaved an exhausted sigh. Now that she'd been stopped, she really didn't want to get up and run again. But . . if they were going to mutiltate her. . . well. . . . No. Looking up, a new flash of defiance in her eyes, the little black one took a few cautious steps in retreat. Hackles still raised, she gave a little snort. ". . . I won't go down without a fight. . . ."
Who was she trying to prove this to? Herself? Mostly. Xieros' confidence was lacking. . . . But just in case Lin and Toby were mean. Well. . . just let them try to eat her. She'd bite their tongues she would . . . . or at least she'd try.
Lindir laughed musically, then stopped abruptly. Her smile remained, however. She lowered herself to the ground, hoping it would help her level with this girl-pup. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to laugh at you. It was rude o' me. Whate'er makes you think there's going to be a fight? I tol' you, dear one, we're not going to hurt you." She looked back at Toby. "Are we, brother?"
"Nae, lass," Toby agreed, looking at the pup as gently as he could manage. She looked well haggard, like she'd been drug through knotholes and left to wring out. And she hadn't fed well in some time. Poor thing.
What would his father do?
Take the pup in, if she would let him.
"I'm sorry I growled at you," he finally said, trying to temper gruffness. He wouldn't have bothered, but he knew if he didn't try, Lindir would have his hide. She didn't take to anyone treating another badly, for whatever reason, and especially not her own brother treating a pup with fuss on his mind. But it was hard -- he had never come in contact with an outsider before, on his own, no less. "You caught me off-guard, lass. Didn' know where you were. Or who. If you'd kept runnin', you'd be well into the territory by sundown."
"I'm Lindir, lass, and he's Toby," his sister interrupted, stopping his rambling. "Are you all right?" The concern was clear in her voice.
. . what was going on here. . .? Who were they? This couldn't be right, not at all. . . could it . . . ? Everything she'd been told about the outside had been less than pleasing. Shadows and monsters and wolves a billion times larger than she with massive claws and fangs - wolves who could read minds and turn phobias in to realities. Shamens who could cause disease and plague and hurt.
All Xieros wanted was . . . .
. . .well . . . to run away.
That had been her chosen path. She knew she had a better chance of surviving against the unknown than she did wth Adenru. After her parents and litter mates passed with the dawning of the plague . . . life had quickly lost any sense of sympathy and kindness for Xieros. Adenru had been less than kind (as well as less-than-sane) but she and a small handful of bedraggeled survivors had been forced under new rule and new law.
With the former alphas and beta's gone, with Adenru fighting his way to take charge. . . everything had seemingly gone completely downhill.
Adenru wanted power and weakness was unacceptable.
Therefor, if she were to ever prove to the world that she was strong, she couldn't be weak. If she were to be strong, she couldn't be overly emotional, and therefor . . . therefor Lindir was weak?
No no . . .that wasn't right. Was it?
So young she was (hardly more than a few months old!) the small thing didn't know how to respond. The few memories she had of her mother, her father, her littermates she thought she recalled such pleasantries.
But those hadn't lasted long at all. . . .
Confused (to say the very least) Xieros continued to stay close to the ground, trying so very hard to keep the fear out of her voice, and yet throwing every visible sign to the siblings that she was terrified.
Maybe they weren't going to hurt her. . . .Did she trust them? Or just run away?
The female kept telling her she wasn't to be harmed, she wasn't going to be eaten. Maybe she could trust them all right . . . but what was with the way they spoke? Why didn't they talk right? And why did they keep calling her Lass? She wasn't Lass - who was Lass!?!
Two bright eyes looked from one to the other - Lindir and Toby ... "I'm not Lass, you know," she finally exclaimed, lowering her head as she scowled. "I'm Xieros." There - now they wouldn't confuse her with this Lass wolf anymore. Lass. . . what a stupid name anyway.
Not entirely sure what to do with herself, Xieros continued to stare at Lindir's paws. She sure was a caring wolf, or something. Why was she so concerned about Xieros. . .? No one else ever was, including herself! How could they be so friendly with a stranger. . . . ? Weren't strangers supposed to be eaten by others?
That's what Adenru had told her before she left. But more and more, Xieros was starting to believe that maybe (just maybe) Adenru didn't know what he was talking about.
"I'm just fine," Xieros finally retorted, flipping back her head and shaking out her fur. Bad idea. A bit dizzy thanks to hunger and exhaustion, her head spun for a moment and she all but fell over. Catching herself (but barely) she wound up plopping down on her rump to keep from looking like a fool.
"You don't have to worry about me. I've been taking care of myself," she added, puffing out her chest with pride. See? She was just fine. "I'm not weak you know, I'm strong." Oh how she wanted to believe it! Maybe if she said it enough, Lindir and Toby would believe it too?
"Xieros... Xieros," Lindir said, trying out the name. The first time she didn't get it quite right, but the second round came out fine. "I can see how strong you are." Lindir nodded to accentuate her agreement. "Do you have a pack, Xieros?"
Toby could see where his sister was going with this. Bring the pup into the pack, another new member. Maybe her parents, if they're around somewhere... But he knew, somewhere in his heart, that Xieros' parents aren't nearby. He knew because if they were, they would've been there by now and Xieros wouldn't have been running so hard.
Distantly, he heard Lindir continue. "We have other strong wolves in our pack. Maybe you could join us."
The black and white pup was still torn. Whatever did she do? Her faith and trust in any wolf had been destroyed at a very tender age. It wasn't entirely Adenru's fault, but his lies and stories and threats hadn't helped the young ones judgement. Her poor mind may be broken, but it wasn't completely shattered.
Her future was not yet decided upon her past, but would be molded as she went along.
There was hope for the black and white pup yet. . . . but it wasn't necessarily going to be easy to find.
Running in to Lindir, though, and her brother was a step in the proper direction. To save Xieros from her nightmares would help balance her out in the future. To be some place safe, to learn that her misgivings weren't entirely based on fact. . .
Good could be done, if the fates (and Xieros' fear and stubborness) didn't get in the way.
Certain that Lindir would cut her down, the dark eyed pup almost gaped when she heard Lindir's reaction. She agreed with her strength? Truly? Realizing that her surprise was most obvious, the little pup puffed out her chest and gave a broad, toothy smile. It was supposed to look intimidating, and help show her strength. "I'm so strong I . . . . " She hesitated, casting an uncertain glance from Toby to Lindir.
If she was strong was that why she was alone? Was she honest and did she tell them of Adenru and her life besides plague? Did she speak of her parents, the loving gammas they were, or lie? How truthful could she be with these strangers. . . .?
"I . . . " A new pack with strong wolves?
Uhoh.
If there were strong wolves. . . Adenru had been strong - very strong. If she joined a new pack, wouldn't they eat her alive? Would they treat her as Adenru had his wolves. . . ? Would life be as traumatizing for an outsider as she had been told?
They had said that if she left, she'd be nothing. If the shamens and seers didn't torment her with their magics, than no pack would ever take her in. Not without false promises, not without ripping her body to rags.
". . . I don't know. . . . ." She didn't want to show either wolf that she was afraid of what waited further in pack territory. She didn't want to show that she was honestly scared out of her wits end, exhausted, and frightened about everything. The shadows around her scared her, no matter how tough she talked.
"I think I could take care of myself all right." Lies - lies and deception. But Lindir and Toby (or so Xieros believed) would never be able to tell. She was too good a lier to let them witness the truth.
If these two wolves thought she was going to fall for their trap . . . oh no - Xieros was not going to be an outcast and a scapegoat all her life. No. Way.
Lindir glanced back at her brother with a gentle smile as Xieros swelled with self-pride. She was of the opinion that the little pup was indeed strong, but powerfully frightened of something. She saw no reason that the pack could not or would not help the young female -- if she would let them, that is.
Toby carefully lowered himself to the forest floor, tail thumping the ground twice. "Y' know," he said all of a sudden, "your coloring's very much like our family's. All black and white and red." He cocked his head to the side, studying her, his tone sounding of reminiscence.
Lindir laughed again, that musical sound, before zeroing back in on Xieros gently. "I've got no doubt that you're strong enough t' strike out on your own," she said in her classic lilt. "But we'd be more than happy to help you out, for a little while at least. That is, if you'd let us, Xieros."
"The pack would be happy to have another good, strong wolf," Toby added gently.
The black and white pup was still torn. In her naivetee, she was caught between a rock and a hard place. If she stayed on her own, deep down, the little one new she wouldn't last long. As much as she hated to admit she needed help or assistance, the stubborn puppy was close to collapsing. She was far too young to be able to hunt effectively, and after failed attempt after failed attempt, the little thing had all but given up.
She'd eat later . . . . but if she didn't find sustinance soon enough, her little puppy life would be cut drastically short.
On the other hand, the nightmares weaved and told her after the plague still haunted her. She understood how things worked within a pack. . . . sort of. Her memories of 'the good ol' days' with her parents and littermates was hazy. She had been only a few weeks old when the sickness arrived, on top of alread famished times, so when Adenru took over the pack and wove tails of unimaginable horrors to Xieros and her remaining sibling, she had started out on her journey with caution and mistrust.
The entire world was out to eat her, she was sure of it. Kind words could be easil laced with lies and deception, and nothing good ever seemed to last.
Now, face to face with the black and white wolves named Toby and Lindir, Xieros didn't know which path to choose. Neither ending looked good.
But. . . her black ears twitched and she eyed Lindir with a small touch of interest. Had she said 'for a little while'. . .? As in the situation wasn't forever? As in she wouldn't be the scapegoat in the pack until her dying day?
. . .of course. How could she have been so silly? If the abuse got bad enough, she'd just run away again or at the very least die trying. Nothing said she had to stay with these new ones, but perhaps she could use this to her advantage? If they killed her when she arrived - fine. What did it matter? She'd be dead soon enough and returned with her beloved family before her. But if they didn't eat her completely, why couldn't she stay?
Only for a day or two, just enough to get a meal and then she could disappear again.
Yes. . .
Desperation and instinct demanded companionship, as well as a need for food.
No matter what happened, no matter which path she traveled, the ending was completely unknown. Lindir and Toby said kind things now, but once back upon their lands who was to say they'd stay just as sweet?
Well, Xieros didn't have to trust them in the least. She knew that they'd change - oh yes. She knew. But that didn't mean she wouldn't go along with their bittersweet deception.
Looking over at Toby, the little pup gave a little wag of her striped tassle, slowly untucking it rom her rump. Well, if they were black and white too. . . . that's what her family had been. . . before Adenru.
"Well. . ." she started softly, hesitantly, ears still glued to her head and body lowered to the ground.
There was always a way to run away, she reminded herself. This wasn't her being weak, this was her taking advantage of the situaiton. That's right! She wasn't weak. . .she'd be strong. She never had to trust any of these new wolves, but just maybe she could amuse them. . .
Just for a little while, Lindir had said.
"Well I'll. . . I'll . . . I don't need help," she carefully clarified, not wanting to admit to being completely helpless, "but I . . ." Her pride had to come down. Unable to think of anything to say, the small black and white pup lowered her head so her nose touched the ground. Heaving a wounded sigh, the little one gave the gentlest of whimpers. "I am a little hungry. . . ."
That was that.
So much for ever being strong. Now they probably wouldn't want to help her, or keep her. Weak wolves were nothing but trouble, and outcasts, and unwanted (or so she'd heard). Now that she was weak and dependent and needy. . . .
Oh well.
Whatever did it matter? Being hungry was by far better than being dead.
