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 Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:55 pm
Fedha groaned as he countinued to walk through the south. He was getting closer and closer to the sea pride... Ausi had to be there. His heart was torn.. actually, most of him was torn. But his heart was emotionally torn and it had taken him so long to accept his love for Ausi.. accept the fact that she was his soul mate and that they should be together forever. But it seemed that would not be possible any longer..
The once proud creature was now almost crawling over the lands, his silver fur stained with red almost all over. His eyes were half shut and it was a mystery he could walk at all, he was sure his stomach must have been torn open. He was sure his lungs were failing him... each breath he took hurt worse than the next. He wasn't sure but he thought some of his teeth might be broken... which could be fatal for a lion. Though he doubted it mattered very much.
His body felt raw. Raw and disgusting, all of the flesh was coming undone... All of his built up fantasies had come undone. They'd crashed to the earth in a swirling mass of burning smoke... never would he touch on the subject of the gods again. He needed to find Ausi.
Suddenly he stumbled forward and stayed on the ground. In a fit of coughing blood bubbled from his mouth. He shut his eyes for a moment, he just needed a little more time! He had to tell Ausi... what if she never knew? With much effort and a loud groan he managed to pull himself half way up but again he collapse. He snarled out in rage and sarrow, hating himself. Why could he not stand? Why could he not have just a little more time?
He could smell the salty sea on the air. He was so close yet...
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 3:14 pm
She was sick again, but this time it wasn’t because of any event in her life that was keeping her down- no, Ausi was heavy with cubs! She had been for a good few weeks now, and though she had yet to tell anyone about this wonderful news she felt full of pride when she thought of the life within her. She was going to be a mother. But, sadness often came after this though, knowing that the father, Fedha was gone and out of her life. She grew up with him, they were best of friends… or so she liked to believe. She loved him always; from the start she was adored him and his odd ways. Even when he couldn’t express himself to her she knew that deep down something must have been good in him, something must have kept him going. She saw the light within him every time he faked a smile for her. She saw good in him even when he played the bad guy, because no matter what happened to her- Fedha was there. He was always by her side, through thick and thin. He had never let her down and if anything, the only reason they were not together now was because of her- because she told him off. She was so upset about before, she was so hurt- but now she could see through eyes that were unclouded by hate. She could see just how her words had harmed him, they must have. She told him that she wasn’t his, though they both knew that this was so far from being true. Ausi was his as he was hers’... but then why did she say such things to him? Why did she tell him off that night? She was hurt, that’s why- that was her only way of protecting herself at that time. She had gone through a traumatic experience and out of anger and disbelief had attacked the only thing in her life that had always been there for her and pushed him away. But he must have been hurt too; they were his cubs after all, just as much as they were hers. Back then she didn’t understand this but now she did, now that she was heavy with life and love. They had spent one last night together a few weeks ago, even though they had been apart… Ausi never could stay away from him for too long. She longed to be with him, she did, and she did. Her eyes shifted as she let a soft sigh pass her slightly ruffled chest. The passing wend sent a rather refreshing tingle down her backbone as she shifted herself slightly, sitting down. She had left the pride to go for a walk and though she wasn’t too far off she wasn’t anywhere close to the ocean now. She spent a lot of her time avoiding the ocean really... Fedha loved water just as much as she did and every time she stepped foot into the salty waters memories of the past seemed to swell within her mind, fogging her thoughts. She hated it. She wanted him back, badly- And she was going to go look for him tonight, she had to. Maybe he wanted her back too. Maybe.
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:10 am
His breathing was deep and uneven, almost panicked. He wanted to cry out, curse the gods... curse himself. He wanted to scream out Ausi's name! He just wanted someone to find him... if he could not speak the words himself for her ears alone to hear... then he needed someone else to do this for him! But it was not possible, he could smell no other on the wind and hear no footsteps against the earth. He was desperately alone.
Trying to calm himself he took a deeper, more even breath and started to struggle forward; crawling. He could see himself now, oh how the gods must be laughing! But he would turn his back to the gods, as far as he was concerned they did not exist any longer!
"AUSI..." he called out as best he could, trying to gain her notice by some miracle, some odd twist of fate.
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 5:08 pm
At first she didn’t hear his cries, at first she didn’t listen. She didn’t think he was ever going to say her name again… but something inside told her to listen- so she did. Ausi’s ears pinned back in anger and disbelief as a soft gasp passed her parted maw. It was Fedha and he sounded like he was in pain. Just the thought of him in such a state made her feel weak. Quickly the female set off, trying her best to find him. She couldn’t quite pinpoint his voice- so out of impulse she called out.
“Fedha! Fedha! Where are you?”
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 5:11 pm
His ears twitched and he tried to lift his head when he heard her voice, his heart hammering against his chest, his breathing rapid. He would get to tell her! Unless... oh no.. maybe he was going mad! Of course he should have realized by now that he was insane a long time ago.
"Ausi? Here... here I am!" He tried to keep his voice strong but he'd gone into another fit of coughing, he was curled in a fetal position.
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 5:21 pm
Moving faster now Ausi ran until she came upon the sight of her fallen loved one. He was covered in a red blanket of blood and his body looked so mangled and tattered. Tears began to swell within her eyes as she moved herself to his side and coughed out.
“Fedha! Oh my god... Fedha what happened to you!?”
As she cried out her question her body started to quiver with fear and desperation. She didn’t know how to react to this. Was this a joke... it had to be right... it had to be!
“Fedha- No!”
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 5:27 pm
He shut his eyes tightly and tried to regain some of his dignity. He had to be calm too... this was hard for Ausi! "W..wait.. I have to.. tell you something.." His voice was quiet again, it helped with his strength. Shouting hadn't helped at al... in fact it had hurt him much more. Maybe one of his lungs was punctured on a rib or something?
"No time.." He muttered in response to her. His poor Ausi... maybe he should just die and not spare the words to her angelic ears... she would live knowing that only as he was dying could he ever tell her he loved her... would that be bad? No! No! She had waited so long to hear him tell her he loved her... he could not deny her this. "Ausi... I. love. you." He said, each word a new challenge for him. Not for who he was saying it to or because he had never said those words directly to her before.
No, it was because of how short of breath he was, and how fuzzy the world was becoming. He shut his eyes and swallowed, realizing just how dry his throat was. "Ilove you.." He whispered again, his words slightly slurred. He could not possibly say it as much as he would like to before dying. He was afraid.. he was not ready for the other world yet.. he was not ready to give up life! Life which he had so many ideals of.. life which he'd been so selfish about!
But his eyes had been opened! No... his heart had been opened! Weren't their things like second chances all the time in fairy tales? "Please.. please.." He muttered, though he was not sure what he was begging her for.
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 7:18 pm
“Fedha--”
She gasped as he spoke to her. She had waited many years to hear those words; she had waited her whole life actually... to hear him say such kind words to her, expressing his true feelings. She was in complete shock; she couldn’t move. He was in so much pain yet... he was able to tell her what she wanted to hear, what he wanted to say. Tears ran down her red masked face as she nuzzled herself into his bloody fur, crying out to him.
“No… stop it, stop bleeding... Fedha I need you. Fedha I need you. Fedha...”
She stopped and gasped for air as her tears smothered her and burned her eyes. She had not cried like this, not in such a long time. Her body felt like it was on fire, burning with anger and rage, sorrow and disbelief. Why...
“I need you. I love you, Fedha, don’t go...”
She cried into his chest now as her body arched over him, as if to protect him.
“I am sorry I left you, I am sorry for what happened before- I am so sorry for the loss of our first cub; but Fedha... You can’t die! You’re going to be a father! Fedha, your cubs... they need you. I am carrying your cubs Fedha! Don’t leave them too... don’t leave me, not like this!—they are healthy and I have not lost them...!”
She couldn’t help but remember her miscarriage and how badly it affected the two. They were not together anymore because of it... because of her fears... and now look what happened, Fedha was dying... what had she done!?
“Stupid boy… stupid, stupid boy!”
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 3:24 am
He groaned as she nuzzled into him but he did not say one word for her to get off, she could stay like that. He was in a lot of pain and though her body hurt pressing against his even a little it also felt good and right, so why tell her to get off? He wouldn't! Always words of 'get off' or 'go away'... well he wouldn't now! He could bare Ausi's touch, he loved Ausi... and soon enough he would love her touch.
His lips twitched slightly giving hint of amusement, how could he stop bleeding? He shut his eyes when she told him she was pregnant again, ears flattening back. Pregnant? Parents... parent. Poor Ausi.. and the poor unborn children. When did he start feeling bad for cubs? But these were his own! His and Ausi's and he couldn't honestly express how much he wanted the little loves... he just stayed quiet.
His breathing was shallow and his breaths far apart, he was coming to his limit.
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:40 pm
Amédia had never expected to be out this long, and away from the mortal shape she had called her own to placate her one love and dear mistake. But she was having a hard time focusing in her worrying. Time was growing short; why were mortal lives so short? Why was hers so long! For once, she would have done anything to trade herself for her sister’s life. Oh, dear sister- it clouded her thoughts, and she floated like smoke in nothingness.
But luckily, fate had already ordained the simple goddess to never be troubled for long. Life demanded too much, and before she could bat her tail in much more contemplation of her strange and unwished plight, she felt the blood rush from her and her head feel light. The nothing floating stopped- and she shifted to listen to the feeling.
Amédia felt pain like it was her own, although she knew she’d never truly feel it like the mortals did. She didn’t have that edge- and her heart never bet wildly as though it was drumming it’s last beats. And she knew she would not die- but the others...
This was one of those feelings- and an urgent one. She followed the pain thrumming in her own body- the closer she got, the less it got as a handy method of tracking. But she was always hesitant, and before the white lioness could be seen, she draped an illusion over herself. A bight white flower, perhaps unnoticeable, rooted itself suspiciously in the scene- and quietly watched.
The first one- she remembered her. They had spoken once- and at the time, she had seemed so sad! The pained one she did not remember knowing- and the flower drooped in thought. But she was a quiet creature and she listened as Ausi approachd and began to speak with him.
This was her love? A thrum of saddness struck through her. Love! Why did it hurt so much? It was all she was full of, and it hurt. But this was a different case. This was not the kind she typically healed, and she could feel that threatening whisper in the back of her ear. She hated tradgedy- but she knew what she could and could not do. Her presense changed things. Her actions made things change- and although she knew nothing about this male, she could feel something suspicious about his wounds. Had he brought them on to himself? To heal innocence, she was assure of. But otherwise, suspision. What did her changes do to people? Something so small so easily became an endless butterfly effect she'd pay in guilt upon guilt. Hadn't she learned that from Phib?
But if there was one good thing in being immortal- it was that gods rarely changed, and even rarer learned from their own mistakes. She regretted saving the small green cub so long ago and as much as she mused on it and loved it, it had given her no shield to resist the heartache. Because she felt for the dying lovers and the cubs as silent entities from within.
Her shape changed- this time, back to the wingless white lioness. They seemed distracted enough to perhaps not catch the shift- but of this, Amedia was not too concerned. The white creature approached slowly; stopping short of the silver lion's crumbled form. "Hello, dear ones."
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