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 Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 7:05 pm
Stretching from mountain peak.
Splayed in a silver sliver.
And in my heart, there's an ache
For the land of sand and sin
For the early morning wake.
And the softness of its skin."
It played over and over in her head, a giant memory of the past, haunting her personage and forcing her back, away, and back again. She didn't want to return, yet in her soul, she knew that she had too. She knew that if she didn't have the heart to kill him, she'd at least have to make him go. For she couldn't pardon him, her rational mind was beyond that, and her secrets far to great for any kind of recovery.
The sun had rose in the bitter blue sky ages ago, and she'd trodden this path far too many hours. Back and forth, never really going anywhere, but always knowing exactly where she was. If her eyes had been better, she might have said that trail was beginning to wear down in front of her. But she didn't think that she'd repeated the trail that much.
Large puffy white clouds greeted her through the rain-dripped boughs of evergreens. She stopped to gaze at them for a moment, her sides heaving, including the one that had been crushed in the river fall. Her mind swam, and she so wondered what she had done in her life to make such bitter mistakes. As much as she wanted to believe Shore, there would be no hope for her raising children. She wanted them, it was certain, but only because it was accepted? Or because she needed this love she'd been so sorely lacking.
Kara didn't know, and probably couldn't know, because her mind was far too complex for the body it was sheltered in. Sometimes she could make do with a situation, and other times she tried to use logic, and sometimes you just need to follow your heart and take a risk.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:22 pm
The grey and black wolf stormed through the forest, her mind ablaze. She had been hit by a sort of fervor which was consuming her - anger, frustration and a little bit of embarrassment at the various confrontations she'd had recently. She was sick of it. It seemed all of her life she had to wait and see what others were doing, base her life around their whims and wants. No ******** more. Despite her caustic attitude towards males she was usually a pushover around others who seemed in some way to assert their dominance - be it size, age, presence or even just by having helped her.
She had spent the past few months, almost half a year in fact, in some sort of limbo because of her mixed feelings over life in general and what to do. She wanted a purpose, wanted to feel like she wasn't being trodden on from above any more. A throaty growl issued from her lips as she sought to vent some of the frustraton she felt.
She'd not picked up any sign or sight of Kara yet. This was a mixed blessing - it meant she had not found a carcass but it certainly didn't prove she was alive... The grey felt her alpha must be alive - how could the big wolf not be? and she would find her and find out why the world had been turned on her head.
Suddenly a scent pricked at her nose - wolf, female, familiar. Broken branches, pawprints. The scent was thick here as if the red she-wolf had been here recently or spent some time around. As the early spring sun beat down on hr back the dissaffected female followed the scent and trail. "Kara?" she said, her voice on the edge of shouting. Despite her search for the alpha, her assurances to herself that the ruddy female would make things better, she had to admit she was not best pleased with her.
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Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 4:12 pm
The red's ears pricked, swinging back to capture the sounds of the other. It was a bittersweet meeting. For while Kara was thankful to hear the sounds of something that she knew, there was something not right about the location of both of them.
She huffed, and turned, walking out slowly towards the female wolf she'd met so long ago. And perhaps abandonned, but her rational mind wouldn't tell her straight. Blue eyes set upon grey fur and for a long while she didn't say anything. There really wasn't much to say.
"Antianeira, what the hell are you doing out here?" she finally asked.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 10:38 pm
The first thing 'Neira felt when she spied the ruddy female was a great deal of self-righteous relief. Although she had been sure the alpha was alive some living proof of that calmed the niggling fears and doubts in her. That, however, quickly decended into a simmering anger. If she was well, as she appeared to be, why the hell was she all the way out here? 'Neira had been nothing if not deferential to her alpha but recent events had put her on edge too long.
"What do you mean what the hell am I doing out here?" she snapped. "The whole pack has gone to hell while you've been wandering about. Half of them think you're dead and the other half seem to have pissed off god knows where. There's some male calling himself the new alpha and inviting other males in." The words exploded from her in a long, fast burst. She had been thinking of not much else and it felt like a relief to say it out loud.
'Neira's maw was set in her characteristic grimace, her red eyes not dull any more but flashing an angry red.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:28 pm
Kara merely watched the outburst, head set high, tail flicking to and fro with neutrality. She couldn't ever say she was happy to see the grey, but she knew in that moment she had no choice. She was going back.
Her lips pursed together, and for another long moment she held her tongue, running over possible responses in her mind until something was clearly set.
"Well," she said dryly. "Next time you nearly die from a river fall, you can try to run a pack to." She turned to the side so that 'Neira might get a better view of her crushed in ribs. "See this?" she said calmly. "It means I'll never run my life away again." Who knew what that meant.
"But the male? That's Kiros. I'm on my way to deal with him now." She grinned darkly. "You're welcome to watch."
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 3:20 am
Neira's eyebrows raised at the sight of the crushed side. It looks rather ugly, painful. Her eyebrows raised a little skeptically, though. "As far as I was aware packs were supposed to help each other when things like that happened." she relented a little, though, finally glad to have a 'reason' behind the alpha's dissappeareance "It must have hurt... if I could have found you I'd have..." she paused. What could she have done? She was no healer. "I'd have helped." she finished somewhat bullishly.
"Kiros, yes." Her eyebrows lowered into furrows as she thought of the arrogant males and his whelp. "Though, what will you do when he's done with? From what I see Jori and any other on that territory", she was thinking of the caramel and chocolate wolf, "are allied to him and not us. Do you intend to go again once he's gone or to take on the whole lot?"
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 4:56 pm
"They cannot stay together if their members are out here," she scolded Neira lightly. She didn't appreciate being heckled over such a small matter. For her, pack life was nothing important.
Yet, Kara had found her own help, through some stroke of dumb luck, and her heart was better for it. Perhaps her midn could now be at rest in the world of the living.
She hadn't realized there was a group of them. "Jori still has my loyalty, I should hope, her daughter to. As for the son, I do not know, but if he wishes to follow the same path of his father, so be it. I know for a fact Carey still resides with us, it is a matter of where you stand, I suppose. Or are there others of which I do not know."
She should hope not, for she didn't want anything to become more complicated. Allies with the blue could lead to treacherous ends.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:26 pm
'Neira ignored the disagreement for now. She had not been so keen on packs herself just a year or so ago but with the effort she had gone to to find her alpha, to defend the rights of her pack she felt a little put out at being put down for it.
"Jori, her daughter, too?" she wondered aloud. "Her daughter seemed happy at the thought of you dead. Or at least I assume she is hers. She has her colours, anyway." The grey female paused a moment, remembering her conversation with the strange younf female. "She's an odd one..." she ramrked quietl before continuing. "There's at least one more - a mud coloured male with darker patches. It was he who told me that that Kiros had 'become' the alpha. I didn't believe him at first..." she looked up at Kara.
"I haven't seen any others, myself, but then I've not been seeing anyone in the packlands this past while. She snorted, looking over her she added. "However, if I remember correctly, when I spoke with that Kiros he mentioned a male by the name of Voodoo hanging around. I cannot cornfirm nor deny he is."
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:52 pm
Kara was a bit surprised at this news. Pavati, glad she was dead? It didn't seem right? The small blue wolf had practically worshipped her, following her wherever she went, and pestering her with various questions. For the first time, Kara had to really think about this situation. Perhaps this wasn't as easy as she thought it would be.
But Jori wouldn't, couldn't betray her, could she? Kiros was a different matter, that was love, it had nothing to do with an outright disrespect for her alpha.
"I should hardly think Kiros is fit for alpha." And, she added to herself, a smile creeping over her features once more, if the mud thinks so, he's bound to be a bit of a weakling. "So long as the mud knows his place, I suppose we don't have to worrry about him." She looked at 'Neira, and her angry ways. This wasn't the frightened one she once remembered.
"You've changed," she said calmly, but quickly dismissed the matter.
"Ah yes," she hummed, with a nod of her head. "Voodoo. I believe I sent him, to watch over sneaky Kiros. He's been very helpful. A bit of a coniver, I must say." She wasn't sure what she was going to do with him once she arrived. Something in her mind told her to let him stay, but she couldn't be sure.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 7:03 pm
"I'd be inclined to agree." she grey snorted disdainfully. She'd not thought much of the wolf she had met by the river. "Though I'd say the mud wasn't entirely the type to back down." at least it had seemed so to her - when challenged he had not backed down very easily. However, as biased as she was against males it was hard not to imagine she might be adding any amount of vice on to her mmeory of him.
She caught the alpha's words. She had changed. She wasn't sure if it was for better or worse. She had been deferential most of her life and it had only seemed to leave her in the lurch. She was through with it. The fox-coloured female shouldn't have any cause to complain, she though, Kara had always seeed to disdain any attempt at obseuiance she made. Perhaps a bit of it was rubbing off. Either way, Neira was feeling more in control of herself and her destiny than ever before.
The last few words caught her by surprise slightly. "You sent a male into the pack lands deliberately..?" he words were somewhat quiet as she thought on this. Her alpha had never, perhaps, directly said so but Neira had always been under the impression the female had disliked male company almost as much as she. She had also contrued the pack as a safe haven from them. It slightly disturbed her to think one had been allowed, no, sent in by her alpha.
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 5:13 pm
Of course she would, Kara thought. No one that looked at Kiros saw anything seriously capable of anything. Except, maybe, Jori, though the blue was so far fetched it almost wasn't a surprise.
"We'll see about that," she responded to 'Neira's statement about the ruddy colored male. Wolves were easily taken care of. If her massive height didn't shrink them down, she was willing to shred them with her teeth. At one time she thought live and let live, but now, live and let die made her mind complete. Innocence was forever lost, and it wasn't because of the death of Rechelle.
Kara ground her teeth together when 'Neira protested, quiet though it was. "He hardly counts as one," she retorted in slight annoyance. "He's easier to push around than a bush, and he's useful. It's not as though I granted him permanent stay." Which was true. Besides, what the hell did 'Neira want from her? There seemed to be little sympathy from the former packmate, perhaps it would be better not to have her around.
"I thought," she said, with a pause. "That you were capable of taking care of him. But I guess I was wrong." Her eyes grew dark, and her mind was fully set.
"Now, I have to go take care of that b*****d, are you coming, or do I count out your loyalties?"
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:22 pm
Neira took a long, slow breath and closed her eyes. She didn't like being criticized, not one bit, but she knew she had been harsh herself in her words and could hardly blame her alpha for putting her in her place.
"I never met him myself, only heard he was there." she began again a little more calmly. "It's not that..." she wondered how to explain why she didn't want the male there. It wasn't that she simply disliked them or had inclinations otherwise... She was a little afraid of them, even if she showed it in a snappish manner. "I don't like them being around. they're good for nothing and you can never trust them" she said finally, ruby eyes opening and coming back to look at Kara.
There was a slight implication in that. Neira, unlike that male whom she had never met, was trustworthy. She was loyal- if she had not been she would not have followed Kaa out here, would not have tried her best to find out what had been going on even if that involved speaking to males. It was males, again, who had left her in this angry, snarling state. Males!
They grey and black wolf's jaw set as she looked Kara in the eye. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
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