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 Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 8:04 pm
You said things that made me love you
I felt happy to be with you
Believed everything that was said.
Then I find it was all a lie
You were telling one of my friends the exact same things
I felt lonely and confused.
No-one could hurt me as much as you have.
So many regrets because of so many lies
If I wasn't such an idiot
I wouldn't have to suffer the pain you have put me through
I will get my revenge on you.
Then you'll be sorry.
Sorry that you messed with my feelings.
Toyed with my heart.
I thought of this like... just then, it's pretty bad,but oh well. It is also based on true things.
Need ideas on how to improve it and ideas of a title.
Thankyou
Goodbye
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:13 pm
I'd compare this to another poem I wrote, I'm not sure if I ever posted it here, but the whole thing is just really colloquial.
Poetry is supposed to have some sort of flow, beat, or meter, even if it's free verse. Some people might disagree with me, but this is my opinion.
It just doesn't feel like poetry to me...maybe try to make it more song-like, almost.
The idea behind it is good, though.
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