NovaKing
N!NE
NovaKing
the selection of words got the job done very well. The suspense employed from her wake onward kep me interested till the very end, and even the end left me wanting more.
The bold paragraphs were a bit superflous if you ask me. They dont really add anything to your chosen motif*.
I enjoyed this passage.
* I hope im using the word motif correctly ^_^
The bold paragraphs were a bit superflous if you ask me. They dont really add anything to your chosen motif*.
I enjoyed this passage.
* I hope im using the word motif correctly ^_^
I didn't really like those paragraphs but left them there as decoration until I have an epiphany (or just get inspiration by reading some random medical article) to keep it going and to bring it to the end. In fact, I had a friend who told me this,
"You can finish this story in seven ways; Three that will be amazing, two that will be okay and three that will make me vomit."
I already know how it's going to end. The problem is making the words flow. c: <333
Thank you for the valuable input~ ♥
She only found seven? (chuckles.)
The passage alone is pretty good. If you cant find a disease you can always make one up, But thats sci-fi and it might endanger the story's current finesse.
Thanks and thanks for the read.
It's not because of a disease~. The things I've randomly described (such as the smell of almonds, alcohol; the feeling on her chest, her fever, the red face, etc) all pertain to one sole element. Whether or not you can find what it is is up to you~ ♫
