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Warning: This story contains graphic violence, inappropriate language, drugs, alcohol and some hints of sex.


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Update two-

Thirty minutes later, gasping for breath and still running I slammed my body against the door. Even with it closed I could hear the thrumming of the bass. As I half lay against the door my tears turned to sobs making catching my breath hard. All my thoughts were jumbling up and I finally pulled away from Ben's door. I was about to turn away when the door opened up in the doorway was Jessica my best friend since we had been five, "Is Ben home?" I asked her not wanting to answer her questioning eyes and I didn't turn around, "Uh yah." She giggled and if I had been looking I would have figured it out then as she blushed slightly and went off to go fetch him.

A few moments and swear words later I heard Ben's noisy entrance. He walked up to me and I turned around. I kept my head low so he couldn't see it. He was in dark blue jeans and his boxers could be easily seen. I studied his toes which were percurly painted a hot pink. He used his left to lift my head revealing what ever the hell my face looked like.

"s**t! Kait who the ******** died?" He asked me trying to make me smile, this plan of his though it back fired and what ever self-esteem I had regained dissipated as what felt like bees began to sting at my eyes until I let the tears fall. Ben was quite a bit taller then me and sure as hell stronger. He lifted up my small figure and carried me up the stairs to his mess of a bedroom. Besides for his parent's room it was by far the cleanest though. He set me down on his bed scratching his head and looking at me sadly his dark blue died hair hung from his head in a messy tangle of hair products and attempts of straightening it in the middle of the night while on ecstasy.

I watched him leave the room heading down the steps. I sat up a bit and looked around his dingy room beer bottles, cans, condoms, needles, food, clothing, paper bags and some other things I couldn't even recognize littered his room. I saw some pills and looked away staring at the door way.

Ben's parents had gone away to somewhere in the Middle East for a vacation. They were gone for the whole summer and had left him behind with a lot of money for food and other things. I laid my head on the pillow burying my face into the pillow I found myself quite tired. I looked over towards the clock. It was 2:30 pm. I sighed and tossed my body upright looking up at the ceiling. I didn't move as Ben came in.

He had a case of Buzz Light in his hand and a cigar in his mouth. He set down the case beside a paper bag and butted out his cigar in the ash tray. Then he lay down beside me, wrapping his arm around me I cuddled up close to his warmth.

"Alright Sweetie tells me what's wrong..." He muttered I knew inside he didn't care but I never really got around to thinking about it.

"You have to promise you won't interrupt though." I said poking him in the side. He just nodded his head and kissed me gently, "Yah I won't."

My eyes began to p***k with tears and I found myself half sobbing as I began to b***h about my shrink and his decided cure for me. Then my thoughts slowly drifted to how it came to be that my brother Josh and I had been adopted by famous, retired, actor Janet Lee. Our mom had been close friends with her. I remember my mom telling me about Janet's loss. I remember even going to the funeral of her only daughter, Jane and husband, Allen.

After complaining about Janet I began to talk about my past one day in specific. The day my brother and I had been left alone in the world, the day that my whole life was destroyed, the day I knew what it truly meant to be abandoned.

I remember making supper with mom. She was making a salad along side me as I stirred the Kraft dinner. The still get sick whenever I have it. My brother had turned up the TV. He was watching some sort of anime. He had been really obsessed with it at that age. And I mean really like the whole anime conventions and s**t. He has simmered down I mean he stopped cosplaying.

I remember the door bell ringing and mom going to answer it. I remember her scream and the sound of her trying to close the door. I watched as she was thrown back and my brother ran over to help her. He stopped in his tracks staring at the man whom had just hit or Mom. Mom appeared quite flustered screaming things. My mom picked up a vase that she liked cursing him, "Get the hell out of here!" She had shouted at one point. It took me awhile to figure out who the man was. I vaguely remembered him but I couldn't remember from where. Then I looked at my brother's shocked face. Then it clicked. They looked so alike I knew who it was, "Dad.." I muttered under my breath. My body had gone numb and I lost my voice. For some reason nothing was working in my body as he walked over to me.

I heard something click as my mom threw the vase at him. He raised a gun at my mom I remember my brother shouting something. Dad hit mom so hard she fell to the ground laying there she began to sob. I watched him move close to me. Too close. He pointed the gun to my head there was that same click, "Take off your shirt!" He shouted gruffly at me.

I didn't move I couldn't. Then he hit me across the face. I still remember the sting and the rings on his hand cut deep into my skin leaving a permanent scar. I had begun to cry and he shouted again, "Take off your shirt! Be a good little girl and take it off. Listen to your daddy and take off your shirt and then your pants...” He said smiling at me. I was unable to move. My mom screamed and she pushed him roughly sending a bullet that was meant for my head flying up into the ceiling followed by screams. We lived in an apartment and the people upstairs had called the police. My brother grabbed my hand and led me to our bedroom. I wish that I hadn't looked back but I did. As I ran I watched as my father the one who had taken me to the zoo when I was five held a gun to my mother's head. She was whimpering begging for her life. But not only hers but her children's. I heard her scream it pierced the air and I watched in horror as a bullet pierced her skull. Blood splattered the wall.

All of a sudden I was in the corner of my bedroom. My brother was locking the door. The rest was a blur. Or I just didn't feel like talking about. Ben just didn't seem to understand how much that had hurt me.

I was 16 and it had happened when I was 12, the thought of it all brought back a lump in my throat. Four years really change a person but I had been a ******** up person to begin with, going to the therapist every other week, I just went down hill by a little bit every year.

I kept on bitching moving on to random people who pissed me off and then I sighed. I was done and I looked up at Ben as he said something, "So you really are moving aren't you?" I just nodded my head.

"Well you'll come visit me so I bet we could stay together...” He muttered looking down at me smiling. I smiled back and kissed him lightly, "Yah ... I'd like that alot." I whispered.

I looked at the dresser and grabbed a beer. As I opened it I looked over at him and then to the paper bag, "Pass the pot please." I said beginning to nibble on his ear. He smiled at me as I giggled, "Oh if it’s the pot that you want. It's the pot you'll get." He said poking me gently.