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 Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 2:13 am
Alright, just a small background history.
Last year in April I found out I was pregnant with the family "Curse" As my grandma used to laugh about. I found myself in her shoes with Triplets on the way. (As my Grandma had triples, my mother and her two sisters) As both sides of the family is infamous for multiples (Heck, my Father Darrel is an identical twin with his brother Darren) It wasn't such a huge shock to me other than the obvious.
For many reasons...I couldn't go through with the pregnancy. I regret giving them up, and will probably not forgive myself but life does go on. Often at times its hard to controll my emotions when I see other couples with children, just knowing how happy they are brings back the 'What ifs?'. Even though it hasn't been a year yet, and I know the road to healing is a long one, I just need some advice or tips to maybe help make the process easier.
Anyways, more to the point.
I was wondering two things.
1) For those who have given up their children, or could not have them due to medical reasons (Abortion) What did you do to cope? Has time really been a factor for healing?
2) I've been wanting to get a sort of memorial for the triplets. My best friend suggested those three stone necklaces, which I do enjoy yet have been wanting something a little more personal. Any idea's?
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Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 6:36 pm
You should check out www.afterabortion.com. You may or may not experience PASS throughout your life. If you don't it's perfectly normal and if you DO that's perfectly normal too. An abortion is never a cut and dry experience. And the site has lots of resources and message boards of women who have varying levels of comfort/acceptance of their abortions.
The BEST thing about the site is it is neither pro-choice or pro-life it is just pro-support for women and their decisions.
As for the second question I suppose it all depends on how you decide to memorialize your passed potential children, and what you are comfortable with. If you like and would wear jewelry you can even look on sites, just google, for jewelry for mothers. Lots of the symbolism and birthstones, etc. For mother's day jewelry would be appropriate in this situation as well.
If you want to purchase something that stays in your home/room you could do that too.
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Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 1:12 am
I'm so sorry for your loss sad
This might be a strange suggestion, but maybe a scrapbook/journal? You could include any mementos you might have had. Maybe some pages to just write down your feelings and memories. Or you could also write letters to the babies. Then put it all in a book you can look through it from time to time to remember them.
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Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 11:56 am
If it's jewelry you'd like, you can find a variety of things that might be of interest. The option of the three stone necklace is a nice one. You can buy engagement/eternity rings which are 3 stone, it seems kind of fitting. Not only would it represent each child you lost, but the stones are believed to mean 'past, present and future' which also seems logical. You can buy these in various colors too.
I can't suggest something more personal for your home, unfortunately. Sometimes a painting or something like that can mean a lot, but you'd need to shop around or buy something specific to your needs, like a commissioned piece.
I do, however, like to think about these things. I found this on Ebay:
Jade Pendants.
I could imagine those hanging as like a mobile or chimes.
I could probably come up with a thousand random ideas, but it might be worthwhile sitting down and thinking how and where you'd like to remember your babies the most.
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