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 Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 4:17 pm
I'm sorry
for all my
mistakes,
mis-interpretations,
mis-conceptions.
You were right
to keep things
from me, at least
at that time.
I was confused, and
still am, but
more so
before, and
couldn't see.
I was blinded by
ignorance,
jealousy,
love.
Unrestricted,
uncontrollable,
all consuming...
love.
I need to make you
see that i've
changed, and i think
you see
now.
Thankyou.
I'm sorry for saying sorry
I apoligise for apoligising
Um, yeah. I hope you like this, please honestly tell me what you think! If you like it, then I'll post more of my other poems smile
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:42 pm
I like it. The lines are short, so it strengthens your poem and the message it carries. Nice job!
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 11:03 pm
It flows nicely. Nice job! ; )
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 4:16 pm
hmm. i don't think you need to say love a second time. you could just say, "unrestricted/uncontrollable/all consuming" and leave it a fragment, since you mentioned that it was love before. also, i don't really think you need the last three lines--they sort of break up the mood. but i think it's good, nice word flow smile
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