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 Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 4:12 pm
Hello I just found a book called the top 10 shakespere plays. The book re-writes the plays in humourous ways and gives real facts! I will post 1 story a day and if you want a fact. smile
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 4:51 pm
Todays story is king lear wich is #9 but its the funniest and I need something to get people to post.
THE FOOL:the scene is ancient britan and here we are in Lears windswept castle. it is a dark night......as often nights are the great old king is planning to retire and divide up his kingdom. when the story starts he is surrounded by his 3 daughters.
LEAR:give me the map there. now that we have divided in three our kingdom.... tell me my daughters wich of you shall we say doth loves us most.
THE FOOL: first goneril stepped forward.
GONERIL:sir I love you.... dearer than eyesight... than life with grace health beauty honor as much as a child ever loved.
(Lear rips off piece of map and gives to her)
LEAR:what a wonderful daughter obviously takes after her father. we make thee queen of all the land from this line to this.
GONERIL:thanks dad-your-highness youll not regret this...(much)
LEAR: our dearest regan.... SPEAK!
REGAN: I am made of that self metal as my sister
LEAR: what a lovely girl ive done a good job bringing up these two.
REGAN: thanks dad-your-highness a genourous and loving parent.....(and a big dork if you ask me)
THE FOOL: but little cordelia loved him more than words can say so when he turned to her and said...
LEAR:SPEAK!
THE FOOL: she said...
CORDELIA: nothing my lord
LEAR:NOTHING!?
CORDELIA:nothing
LEAR: nothing will come of nothing speak again.
CORDELIA: I cannot put my heart into my mouth
THE FOOL: this meant she could not speak her heart- not that she could not vomit. anyway the king was furious...
LEAR: HENCE AND AVOID MY SIGHT! obviously you take after your mother not me she did not know what side her bread was buttered on either.
(cordelia leaves as the king rips her part of the map in two and givwes the pieces to goneril and regan.
THE FOOL: lear had given his kingdom away but if he expected goneril and regan to look after him he had another thing coming...
THE FOOL: first the old king went to stay with goneril she soon grew tired of him and his followers.
GONERIL: look here dad-your-ex-highness here do you keep a hundred knights and squires men so disordered that this court is like a riotous inn more like a tavern than a palace go away.
LEAR: darkness and devils saddle my horses, call my train together I will not trouble thee.... DETESTED KITE! how about giving me my land back?
GONERIL: no chance you senile goat.
LEAR: let it be so I have another daughter ill bet shes not such a rotten little ratbag.
THE FOOL: and so he stomped off in a huff to stay with regan...
LEAR: good morning to you
REGAN: I am glad to see your highness.
LEAR: regan I think you are.
REGAN: the only problem is dad-your-ex-highness is I do not have alot of room in my catsle for you and your knights so i had a great idea... return you to my sister.
LEAR: return to her! never regan... Daughter I will not make you mad I will not trouble thee farewell.
REGAN: please yourself I could never stand ranting geezers.
THE FOOL: as a storm broke out the old king went into the wild night.
REGAN: shut the doors up it is a wild night.
SERVANT: its kind of wet and windy for the old guy your highness.
REGAN: tough
SERVANT: have you no heart?
REGAN: yes..... but i keep it in the freezer
SERVANT: geez! regans pretty ruthless.
THE FOOL: but old king lear was roof-less he wandered onto the moors moaning.....
Part 2 tommorow
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Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 6:04 pm
That's awesome, though I must say original Shakesphere (did I spell that right?) is the best. Love the humor twist. blaugh
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Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 10:30 am
nobody cares so I am stopping this post
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Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 11:33 am
I am not going to grovel at your feet for a new post.
But I will express my interest in these two sentances.
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