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**Old people rock.**

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WhoGuru

PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 11:53 pm


This is an actual job application (so I'm told) that a 75 year old senior
citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny....


WAL-MART APPLICATION


NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy b*****d)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at
least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever is available. If
I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the
first place?

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a
Michael Ovitz style severance package.
If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and
Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better
suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR
RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers ClearingmHouse Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE:....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. ***Old People Rock! ***
PostPosted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 1:54 am


rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

xxx quit xxx


Tillisnut

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:09 am


You have to have a sense of humor sometimes. rofl
PostPosted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:14 am


Can't wait to be this old and ornery. rofl I plan on being the little old lady in her wheelchair who bootie checks all the hot male nurses. blaugh

WhoGuru


Luciano LaChance

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:11 pm


ahhhh....my goals in life include:

Running a petting farm in the neighborhood...

Then becomeing the crazy cat lady that no one likes....


But really I love that application it makes me laugh everytime ^_^
PostPosted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 1:00 am


sweet.

heart heart

AntoniaMerEnfant


Lady_Cadaver

PostPosted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 4:17 am


WhoGuru
Can't wait to be this old and ornery. rofl I plan on being the little old lady in her wheelchair who bootie checks all the hot male nurses. blaugh


lol. rofl
PostPosted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 1:17 pm


WhoGuru

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at
least one who will cooperate)


Best answer EVER.

Seeress


Marcious Pharoe

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 8:49 am


rofl
PostPosted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:27 pm


Aye, saw this a few years ago.

Se Ga Takai


roseyjoy

PostPosted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:34 pm


Seeress
WhoGuru

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at
least one who will cooperate)


Best answer EVER.
A former older teacher of mine had to fill out a questionaire for the principal because he was nominated to win some sort of teaching award, and his answer to "Sex" was "Yes, please."

I love it when senses of humor get ripened with age. 3nodding
PostPosted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:06 pm


rofl

sassyred25


Lucky Hoku

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:31 am


The best part of being old is not giving a damn what people think and telling it like it is. My daughter nearly peed in her pants listening to her grandmum talk about sex at 70. It was an interesting conversation and not what I'd expect from my o' so conservative mum who wouldn't let us girls wear bikins when we were young because she said we'd look like whores. Now that I'm older she feels the need to just speak her mind and tell me like it is. rofl
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