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One of the most upsetting things in my experiences, is that I have a desire to have children in the future (within five years or so), and yet I feel that it would be impossible.

The main reason? Money.

I know that pregnancy, childbirth, and childrearing is expensive.

It's even more expensive if you have to pay for daycare or one parent stops working to take care of the child/ren.

But I just don't see how it will be possible for me to afford even ONE child in the future, and it makes me feel horribly irresponsible for even selfishly WANTING to have children in the first place.

And if I got pregnant now? I don't know what I'd do, because I would feel horribly ashamed if I couldn't give that child the best of everything from prenatal care to parenting, but I wouldn't want to just abandon it or kill it through abortion.

What are your feelings about having children, responsibility to them, and the funds required to give children "the best"?

Even if I want to stay at home with my (future) kids, I probably won't because my husband wants to be a psychologist, and that's an independent business, so I would need something stable and with benefits so our kids would have a steady income and a steady healthcare/benefits package in case of accidents.

Sometimes it makes me want to cry or knots up my stomach so much when I think about it.

After all, I'm 22, married, out of college (with a BA and an AA), and I'm only working at Office Max right now while trying to find some kind of job that will take an English Degree and not pay me minimum wage.

So, in essence, I feel like I'm stagnating, like I have no real future of any worth, and all this intelligence and money for my degree is going to waste.

What is your take on these issues?

That's great that you are even thinking about this stuff. So many people run off and have babies without even giving a thought to the cost and time that will be required.

Well, like luna said, what everyone considers the "right time" to have babies is a little different. I can tell you what I think is the absolutely most ideal time and situation to have a baby, but heck, I doubt I'll have my own future baby in that ideal situation.

Luna, don't blame the unrealistic expectations of when to have children on people without children. xp If you ask my father, he'll tell you no one should have children until they own or are paying off a house, have a new vehicle, and at least $10,000-$15,000 in the bank (without scrimping too much, that money should be extra money for college or something). xp It's possible that that is where I will be when I have a baby, but I kind of doubt it. As we have said in other threads too, houses aren't for everyone. My mother loves apartments because she doesn't have to worry about fixing anything. She had one apartment that cost more every month than a lot of people's mortgage payments. My father, on the other hand, is a house person all the way and thinks they are necessary for the rearing of children. xp That's his opinion, and it worked for him. It's not a bad plan, it's just not a plan that is for everyone.

I feel the same way, too.

Mike is the only one who is working and after the baby is born, I can't really expect to get a job because the price of day care will probably take more than my entire pay check. So, he got a new job that will pay more and has advancement possibilities of making up to $14 or more IF he becomes an operator(he's in the printing/bindery field). We're scrimping and saving everything we have.

It's easier to think that you can do it when you have no choice, just because you can't do anything else but do it. That's my opinion, though.

For the most part, kids aren't too expensive after the delivery. Most people have baby showers and gifts such as strollers and cribs are usually bought for you.

But if you're worried about a career, just fill out applications and send in your resume to some places online(don't use Monster.com)and see what happens.

No time is perfect but if you can look at it in a positive way, you have a better chance of coming out okay.

I'm a senior in high school and pregnant. My dad says I MUST go to college right after high school, even though i'm going to have a 3 month year old. He won't let the father move n b/c he hates him (solely because we had sex) so I'm going to have to move out in order to keep my little famly together. I've never had a job or lived on my own, and well I am panicing about expenses but there are a lot of ways to keep them down. Breastfeeding is free food for 6 months =D My younger cousins will babysit for a greatly reduced rate =D And I can get health insurance for only 15 dollars a month, $5 for tests and dosctor's visits b/c I make less than 60K a year. Goodwill has lots of baby clothes and cloth diapers are infinitely reusable xD

I work at a childcare at a college. Many of the parents don't have much, and are college students themselves. As long as you can pay for enough food, a roof over their head, and clothes/diapers, that's ENOUGH MONEY as long as you give them love.

Oni, kids don't need the best stuff... they need love and caring. I see that where I work. One of the happiest, most well-adjusted kid's family JUST recently got a computer.

If you want a child, start saving money. You can do it.