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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 1:56 pm
YOU TOTALLY MADE ME PUT THIS UP, NN.
Quest for 'Bast', a GotP spawn.
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 2:05 pm
I know. I have yashi.
But I got HER in my head. She's cute and fluffy and a little bit of a b***h while being happily BETTER then EVERYONE..because she's a cat.
I talked to a friend of mine (HI NN) and he said to post it. So. I did.
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 2:12 pm
The girl behind the gold
Name Eshe (EH-sheh)
Gender Female
Abilities Affinities with felines, great talent in developing scents (fans of Perfume will appreciate this), heightened eyesight and hearing, along with stamina that comes from walking or running.
Race/Species/ElementEgpytian Mau with Basts anger? >> I guess?
Information on their previous life It was a pleasant life, really. Pampered and treated well; she never had to hunt for food if she didn't want to. At times, the cat just felt the urge to pounce and destroy a small life, gobble it whole while onlookers looked on in awe.
She was a Cat, after all. There were always hands there to pet her, to indulge her. A lovely life. Her lord-human was high ranking and always smelled of sweet oils. His clothing was always soft and, so kind was he that he would often allow her to rest along his lap when he lounged, and knead at the light fabric. Sometimes it would catch and tangle in her claws and she would be shooed off but there was not a harsh word.
He was her Favorite, although his lady and their four children came in close afterwards. The lady was affectionate, if a bit distant, preferring to dote on her little ones and her husband instead of the cat writhing around the youngest knees in glee. Food always came with the kittens, especially when she was heavy with small ones herself.
A good life. A pleasant life.
The cat had a strong, fair goddess. Protector of the kittens and virtuous cats, the fierce warrior woman and the nurturing woman goddess. Of course, the mau knew her. They all did. All of the ones like her, all of the ones who were blessed by their nurturing, fierce goddess. She was there, all around. Each time they gave birth, each time someone killed one like them, there was live and happiness, there was justice.
There was always her human family.
One year, there was a lack of little ones. Children were not being born to the human families cats reigned over – there were miscarriages or simply no pregnancies at all. It seemed all very wise to offer up the family cats to the temple of Bastet, the guardian of pregnant woman and of the home. The Cats woman was pregnant, she knew, and feared for the same result as the others within the area. Lack of food, bad water, a slip... It seemed as if the gods were displeased.
So she was given over to the temple of her Goddess, her Lord taking her there. Fingers brushed when he passed her and looks were exchanged between he and the Priestess taking the Cat. A newness sort of look. A wondering awe-struck sort of look. Being a Cat, and rather self involved, no matter who protected her, she did not notice as they spoke rather quietly. She made herself at home.
The year past quickly at the temple. It was much like home, but without her Master-man whom she had been so devoted to. The early nights were sometimes filled with sorrow but, a Cat was a Cat, and she dined on the praise of the woman there and the purring masses of sleep-nests that her fellow felines provided.
One morning, the Cat was woken by soft voices as perfumed, lithe figures crouched beside the felines. Thin fingers were petting this cat and that cat, but she kept to the back. One of them had been the Priestess with the newness in her eyes for the lord man. Something about the female smelled of things rotten, under the perfume melting atop her head. Even the softest lining and the kindest smile couldn't hide that.
“You are to be wed?” One, not The One, murmured, a smile to her voice. She was petting a kitten, a new youngling, its eyes barely open. It purred for her, leaning in to nuzzle the females fingers. Bonding. “Praise.”
“Once he writes out the scroll and does as I ask, I will be.” The One moved, her head dipping down for a brief, quick movement. There was satisfaction to her voice, like a cat that just caught a particularly succulent, smart rat that had managed to avoid her. Cat avoided them.
It was only two weeks later that the lower regions of the cults temple was filled with flesh. Cats pounced, they tore, they ate away from the fleshes bones. Only the Cat sat quiet, high atop from her position on her goddesses head, silver, slightly spotted tail waving gently back and forth behind her. The Flesh stunk of her former man and woman. There were five lumps of flesh that the priestess had offered up to their goddesses cats as things of noble blood.
Things worthy of her cats to be fed.
Four had features the Cat found familiar. The other was a small figure, a lump of a being, with infant fat. It was the only figure alive when it was fed to the cats. It was crying, a loud wail. Even as it cried, the cats ate anyway. They were hungry. The rats were lean this month.
The priestess moved from the house of Bast.
When the flesh was gone for the most part, the cats slept. The Cat slept. She was tired... She was hungry. She refused to eat the flesh of one she recognized or smelled of her old master. It repelled her like specific perfumes would get rid of demons. The moment her eyes closed, the Cat changed. She grew larger and the white/silver pattern to her coat took on a gold tinge. Ears rounded and teeth grew, paws becoming fatter and that lithe frame of a pouncer turned into the muscular, thin frame of a hunter.
A hybrid between lioness and Mau. There was a power running through her veins; strength. There was a voice in her hair, gentle and soothing as a warm, motherly hand stroked across her back. Despite the soft tone, Bastet was not pleased.
We are the glue between families, Cat. We do not rip them apart. They ate their families, if dead and if in need, but they did not murder their young if there was plenty of food. The baby didn't need to die, nor did the children. One was near the age to be on his own.
Yet her human lord had let them be killed and fed to the antsy cats of the motherly, angry, vengeful, warrior, scorned Bast. He did it for a Priestess who had forgotten her place as the woman of a caring goddess. She was, in Bastets opinion through Cats eyes, about to be taught a lesson.
The moon was high as the Cat stalked through the night. She avoided the reeds and waters, where alligators lie. While on Bastets mission, there were no assurances from the other gods and their people. Her Lords house was easy to find. His scent, her scent, and the lack of noises of children gave away his large home amidst of many others.
Into the home she crept. The other cat that resided there, a mere kitten really, opened her sleepy eyes from the table. There was a mew, and an allowance. She would not get in the way.
Their room no longer smelled of happiness. Nor did it smell of him. His soap had been diluted by the scent of the heavy perfume the priestess, her stomach swelling with child, wore each day. She was naked save for a thin, see through sheath of cloth. He was in his kalasiris still. A pounce up had Cat on the sleeping area and her steps were sure. Moving, moving to peer over the woman, into her eyes.
The priestess woke up to a pair of large blue-green eyes of her goddess staring down at her so angrily. She knew they were angry. And she screamed, the harsh, scared scream of a woman fearing a gods vengeance. That was not the noise a priestess made when faced with a goddess she truly believed was here for her.
A hiss from the Cat and her hand flashed. A scratch mark, shallow in itself, drew blood on her cheek. The Priestess screamed again and a hand lashed up before the Cat saw it. It wrapped around the felines neck – while thicker then before, it was still an elegant, slender thing – and she squeezed.
Cats neck broke and she died, body going limp. She was not there to witness the priestess jumping off the bed and beating the carcass against the ground until near every bone in its body was broken. She did not see her nobleman's frantic efforts to calm his new wife, and she did not see the birth of her lords latest child – a boy – several months later. The cat did not see the Priestess being put to death directly afterwards, stoned by the followers and fellow priestesses of Bast. She did not feel herself being mummified or put into a canopic jar and she did not truly understand what had happened.
Bast, loosing a part of her magic inside of that cats soul that night, saw it all. Her justice was done. The priestess was dead and the Cat was properly handled after its noble death. But a part of that magic, a part of that soul, was restless within the jar. That soul, of goddess and mortal and cat, twisted together to become lost in that red granite tomb when the temple fell so many years later, the golden jar now a part of history.
The Cat wanted out. She, and the Lion, and the part of that immortal, they want out. They want to be Free.
Personality from baby to adult Baby She's a cat. An infant cat. Thus, she won't be very active. In fact, she'll be kind of blind. While her eyes will open and close, she'll be blind for her infanthood and not really mind it. She can sniff out her father and cling like crazy. Sad to say, she'll kind of be a boring baby. Trying to feed her from anything other then a bottle will result in wails. XD
Toddler Again, a cat. A cat who just got a major hearing boost and can now see for the first time in her life. She's now on softer food - more solid stuff near the end - and is a great more deal active. She'll be hiding in any spaces avaliable, sleeping where she wants and be a bit spoiled. A little hissy if she doesn't get her way but... Again, a toddler cat. She'll be very clingy to her little stuffed animals and if you treat her nicely, pet at her ears and the like, you'll get a chubby toddler sprawled on her back on your lap and demanding more.
Kid The chub has yet to disappear. She's more angry about herself not getting very tall at this stage. She's eating solid food and fairly active when outside. Her feet make it harder for her to run unless she's on all fours (hich makes it hard to play many sports) and once inside, she'd rather go play around with her flowers, little kid bottles of perfume or just lounge. Lazy cat. This will be the point in her life where she starts to actually CARE if people like her or not and try to ater the amount of people who like her significantly. While a mau, she's still part lioness, and craves herself a stable pride to belong to. She'll begin to withdraw from Cully enough to get more people in her group of friends and while she'll gravitate more to the females at this age, boys are more then welcome to join the foray as long as they don't try to overtake Cullys position as Alpha Male in her little pride.
Teen Hormones. They. Uhm. Really don't do much to her. Seriously. The new boobs and butt means her clothes look a bit more skimpy but she's not affected by too many hormones. She'll coddle and love on the little ones, express an intense desire to have a few, but any actual come-ons will be met with a blank look and a dismissal. Eshe would be one of those people who LOVE who they like but she has a rather bad temper. Keeping things 'even' are a big deal to her and only a few people will actively see her get angry. Physical fighting will only happen in extremes (someone tried to hurt a kid, etc) and with her claws/anger issues, even being untrained, chubby and otherwise a very nice person, she'd be able to hold her own. When angry, her revenge wil be subtle. She can hold a grudge. Afterwards? She'll be smug without being actively boastful. Very territorial at this age. What is HERS (such as her stuffed animals, room, clothing, perfume..) are HERS.
Youth Annnnnnd finally we see some hormones coming in. I'm honestly not sure what's going to happen to her sex drive or how promiscuous she'll be, given what she is. Depending on which of the sides are most dominant - the house cat, the lionness or the more 'human' part of her - at that point, it depends on how she will face sex/love and how many partners she'd have. Or if she cared about how many at all. If she has found herself a 'mate' (who is male. I can see her dallying with females but as a female who wants children and the like, her instincts would shove her more towards men), she would be devoted to him as such. She'd probably start working at a daycare, if she can, and wearing Egyptian garments when her father (who is still Alpha in her pride) doesn't freak about it. Jewlery will start catching her eyes and her friends, despite how many she would have, would still be important. Ther would be a lot of e-mailing, phone calls or something if she can't physically see them. She'd still be spitting at whoever tried to court her father but otherwise... Eh. Eshe would be okay with her past. She'd be a bit disturbed that her dramatic changes from three different mindsets isn't a mental disorder, but three different souls bound into one body at two points in time. As a homage to who she used to be, she'd purchase an Egyptian Mau as a kitten.
Adult She'll definately have adopted kids at this point. If she has a mate/new Alpha or is dominated by her Mau self and got pregnant with whoever she slept with whenever, she'd be pregnant at this stage. She would want to keep the child in their life... So if the new Gaurdian wants to keep it, they WILL have to accept the fact that Mommy Dearest is moving in with. She's not abandoning her kids. With adopting kids of her own, her job at the day care would be abandoned. Perfume shop! Yeah. I know. Fun crap, right? Seriously, at this stage, anything more in -depth requires RP.
Hair and eye colors Hair color is a mix of black and a tawny gold, like a lions. Light green eyes.
Physical description From Wand-Adult Wand The Wand is solid, heavy, pure gold with a canopic jar at the top with basts head on it. Baby Just a few dreads on her head. Roman-esque nose (arched up, not curved down), pudgy as anything. Patterns of a baby lion/egyptian mau on her cheeks, neck, arms, stomach, chest and legs. A kohl-like smudge on each of her cheeks. Her tail is short and fluffy like WHOA and folded back lions ears, mabe a bit larger due to the Mau influence. Arched little feet, like a lions or a cats. Little markings on her undersides of her fingers that look like pads. Toddler Same as before, just a little more coordinated. Her ears aren't folded back anymore and the tail is longer. Still fluffy. Markings more distinct. Kid She's growing into her self, with some distinctive facial structure. Egtyptian esque... She'll be considered 'handsome' instead of beautiful. Still chubby but no real hint of busts. Teen Boooooobs. Large boobs. A bodonkadonkbutt. A smaller, tapered waist. Aka? Hourglass figure. She's rather short, though, and she's handsome now. Her tail is fully grown now, sleek and almost as long as her. Her hair is shoulder-length now, thick dreads, and styled in her 'native' fashion. The rest...well. o.o She's basically the same. Nothing will change. She'll always be pudgy but fun, thick legs, due to her near constant moving outside or at her job, and she'll have a bit of a paunch on her stomach. She's just a cuddly little thing - a ball of fluff.
Distinctive Marks Tails, ears, skin markings, fangs, arched-feet.
General likes and dislikes LikesFlowery smells, baby animals, baby humans, mythology, cats, poached salmon, sushi, anyone in her little Pride, being active or wrapped snuggly in a cocoon of blankets. Dislikes Rotting flesh, memories of the kids, stillbirths, people being angry, yelling, being blind.
Hobbies Creating her own perfumes, probably making a good deal of her own clothing. Taking care of sprogglets that don't belong to her, reading books of Ancient Egypt (fiction is preferred) and doing thing to make her less 'fluffy'.
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 2:19 pm
Cully.
He works at the Wande Shoppe.
He's a human, he's straight, and he's a scientest. He took up the job at the Shoppe because he likes magic, the girls are hot and he gets to freak people out all day.
He won't be totally thrilled at getting a kid himself, but at least he'll know what to do.
His seven siblings will laugh at him.
Cully also works with patrick, Yashimas gaurdian.
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 3:04 pm
Art   Both pictures are (c) to me.  - Not my picture. Just an example.  - Again, just an example
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 3:08 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 3:23 pm
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 12:28 pm
Finally got...uhm. Everything? up. Finished her form and such. I COULD say more about Cully but...he's just interesting that way.
Why no banenrs?
Cause I SUCK
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:01 pm
Okay, working from the top down. I'm going to basically go over things that either rubs me the wrong way or the right way. I believe sincerely in pointing out the good with the bad, so. Furthermore, I'm not going to be too nitpicky about grammar or random knicknacks because, frankly, I think little mistakes like that are far less important to point out when there's character analyzing to be done. If there's some really huge mistake, I might point it out but stray commas and the like won't be picked up. And now onward! The Nozomi (from abilities) "...great talent in developing scents..." I rather like that. It's a very interesting ability without being out of left field. Kudos. The back story:My biggest and most prominent complaint is that there is absolutely no urgency in the piece. Things that should be horrifying - the slaughter of the children in particular, the thrashing of the cat's body by the priestess - read as extremely bland. In the former case, I actually had trouble discerning what exactly was going on even despite the fact that you'd outlined the story to me earlier over AIM. I mean, I got it initially, but it wasn't really clear. There should be emotion there, even if it's viewed through the eyes of a cat. Obviously, the Cat was fond of her family to go to such lengths to punish the priestess (even if the feelings were somewhat brought on by Bast), but the whole things reads as dispassionate and dry. Try painting a more definitive picture in those two instances, create an atmosphere and a location of swirling feline bodies and the shrieks of a baby. That scene could be chilling, should raise the hair on my arms. Instead it left me going 'meh, okay onward.' Furthermore, I never really got a feeling about the whole divine retribution in the emotional sense. The Cat seemed to be very laid back about the whole situation. Just try and work on imbuing the back story with more...emotion. I sound like a broken record, but how it stands now there's just nothing particularly compelling beyond the actual subject matter. Nothing in the narrative suggests that I should really care. It reads extremely flat. It's a good story, but as if it's just...meh. There's not a whole lot else to say in here because it's solid in terms of actual EVENTS, but the emotion just has absolutely no resonance. I don't know why or if I should even care beyond the whole 'poor baby! *emoemo*' thing. Personality and the like:I really enjoy the personality you've laid out for Eshe. It's subtle and nuanced and frankly if you get her I might actually read about her. Haha. I think that she is maternal and a 'pride animal,' even if she totally retains that cat flair felines are so ridiculously famous for. You've made her out to be a little conniving, a little mean, but nicely balanced with everything else. Kudos. That said, this line gives me one heck of a headache: "She'd be a bit disturbed that her dramatic changes from three different mindsets isn't a mental disorder, but three different souls bound into one body at two points in time." Three different mindsets? Maybe I missed something, but where the heck was this laid out? I'm confused where the heck you put the groundwork for this triple souls thing. More importantly, who do the souls belong to? The Cat, a piece of Bast, and...? Her personality reads so balanced and natural and then there's THAT. WhattyWHAT? Appearance:Good, good, goo-- what? "A smaller, tapered waist." and then "she'll have a bit of a paunch on her stomach." You'd be better served to go with one or the other. As it stands, that sounds really conflicting (to me!). I'd recommend revising. The GuardianHa, I like Cully. What little you have on him makes me giggle.
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:17 pm
Note'd! Noted and it shall all be looked upon, altered, etc. The three mindsets tho, are the Cat - the Egyptian mau, the Cat - the lioness type of persona she gets tossed with when Bast gets pissy, and the small part of Bast that doesn't really come into play unless she'd have to think outside of her normal way of doing it. The first two are melded to the point where there are only a few distinctions but I just say three because it makes it easier for moi.
But, yeah, that will will be put together as well. XD Thank ya, Pukio!
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