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Eekan's Past

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Eekan

PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 9:52 pm


((Basically it's just me role playing with myself. xd Some parts will be told from Eekan's Point of view, othertimes, third person. If you want to leave an OOC comment, you're welcome. Forgive the weirdness later on in the post, Eekan's having a hard time piecing together reality and existence itself. Think Metal Gear Solid 2.))

((Eekan POV))

I wasn't really sure anymore. Maybe I never was in the first place. Ever since I joined up with the GPD....No, farther back. Maybe when I met Vesp, Lima, all of the crew. At the OWA. Was I sure then? Was I sure anytime of my life? Hell, my memory begins fading just at the point of OWA. That was only about a year ago.

So, now, I'm not even sure where I came from, who I knew in the past, not even who I am, myself. Never sure. I mean, okay, so I have several different stories going on here.

I'm Eekan, one from a foreign land, who came to Gaia in hopes of a better future. My parents are still in that land I came from. I had the knowledge of...Holy bullets? To slay demons? Sounds familiar.

Then I'm Eekan, genetic experiment who was sold away to a government testing facility before I was even born, lone survivor of the project.

Then, again, I'm Eekan, born in Barton, with no memory of my past whatsoever, but I seem to have a ridiculous amount of skill with a gun. Do I kill people with it? Not sure. I don't remember now. What were my morals?

And another Eekan, born in Durem in a poor family on brutal streets. Trained in several different military programs to shape a perfect soldier, then let loose, soon afterwards, becoming a mercenary.




So, which Eekan am I? What the hell happened? I remember every part of my life, in different areas of it. I remember seeing my mother in Durem, my mother in Barton, leaving her when I boarded that ship to Gaia, and then, not seeing her at all. At least, I think that was my mother. She seemed to be the same person overrall, but my memory's blurred.


Probably when Tac began screwing with time. Knew there was gonna be some side effects on my part.


No....My memory was blurred much more farther back. Around the time when I....what? No. The OWA? Farther. A boat. Lights. Parade. Soldiers? Yes. Soldiers. They're....off to a battle....I'm feeling.....odd. What is this? Fear? Seems familiar. Fear. Yes, that's what I'll call it. Why though? I...I am a soldier? There? On a boat? What? How? I've never been afraid of dying.

A mirror? No, a lake. A pond. I'm....I'm staring....at something? In the pond? My reflection. I look young.



No. It's another broken piece of memory. Nothing more.


What...? Wait, what? I'm...Where am I? I hate this...smell. A smell? Not exactly real, but....no. It smells like...blood? With...metal? Blood? Metal? How? What?


I'm looking at a...wall....no. It's....bouncing up and down. Shaking. No. I'm shaking. Yes. But...where am I? I can hear the sounds of an ambulance....An ambulance? I'm.....I'm....PAIN. Overwhelming pain. I can't feel...my limbs....It...hurts....but...what happened....I....why do I smell metal? And blood?

Artificial Reflex. Where have I heard that? I smell metal. Blood. I can see....my arm.....it's....

not......


...human?

....metal?

It's been trashed, badly. blodo coervs it adn it....relatiy? reality...is it...crakign....what......./?11oen.

its...meatl....metal..,.,.,,,,,,.//.....metil? cybrgo? cybrog? syberfg? cybogr? huamn? no....cybrog.....yez....yse....

gonk scream scream heart domokun domokun xp eek

waht....iz tihs/?1..,,,..,,,,,,,<.

emoiton.,,,,,///////?/// huamntiyy, .>

robot...hdan,,..agin.blk.. ,,,allblk....


((Third person POV now.))


*Looking around in his small room in a daze, he glanced about. He put his hand in front of his face, making a fist, and stretching his hand out. What had happened just now? It seemed like everything had shattered. And what did happen after the cyborg incident? What DID happen after he had been to the hospital? What happened afterwards, is he blanked out, and a few days later it seemed, he had quit the GPD, but....he wasn't exactly the same. He was indeed human, and flesh and all, but hadn't he been...metal? How?*

*Sighing, Eekan got up. The Demonic Pitchfork which he had bought earlier that day leaned on the wall across the room. It seemed pretty neat, so he thought he might buy it. Besides, artifacts like these aren't just lying around the place. Maybe it could point him in the right direction of his past?*

*Chuckling at the idea, the mercenary (and now working for The Coalition) glanced at the clock on the wall. 7:42 PM GST. Might as well get some shut eye.*



((And that's chapter 1 of Eekan's past. Sorry for the weird crap that went on near the end of Eekan POV.))
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2004 6:44 pm


((Eekan POV.))

Respect. Compassion. Envy. Joy. Love. Tears. Sadness. Pain. All of them linked to one another in some way or form.


Linked together. Linked. Connected. Me? Connected? No. Not whole. Memories floating in space. No definite answer. Unrelated. Not linked at all.


Every puzzle piece in my mind cannot connect. The pieces simply won't fit. I have pieces of the same memory of different points in my life. I'm in different places at the same time. How?


Why can I never piece together the memories in my own mind? My own mind. My enemy is my mind. My own enemy is within myself. No. My enemy is myself. My very existence. My very identity. The very question of why. Every link to my past, it is my enemy. No, not that. The inability to be able to have a full past. To know who I truly am.

Existence. Identity. Home.

Existence. Identity. Home.

Existence. Identity. Home.

None of these do I have. Who am I? Eekan. That's the name I call myself by. Is this identity? Is this existence? Is this who I am?

No. Identity cannot simply be made by a name. You cannot take a person, and model him and shape him from a name. You cannot be a person with just a name.


But I do not have an identity then, do I?



Do I?




I stared at the ceiling in wonder. Does a soldier need an identity? Does a soldier, a mercenary, need to have a past?

Soldier. Is that my identity?


Even if it is, I don't want it to. Nor do I think it can be. There are over a million soldiers, and if each one of their identities was Soldier, it would no longer be an identity. They would no longer be themself. They are no longer....human.



So, I suppose I don't have one. Am I really me? Am I a really a full person? Am I actually one being? Am I complete?



Is anybody complete?


Existence. Identity. Home.



((Erg. Boredom.))

Eekan

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Elite Plains

 
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