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Maze Garden Adventure

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glorybaby

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:58 pm


Yes I'm finally posting something. I've been writing it in my Myspace blog...It's mostly just supposed to be entertaining and funny. It's written in...second person, I think o.o It's the "you" form. I forget what it's called sweatdrop Just read, comment and critique. There's two chapter-ish things so far.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:01 pm


-1-



You come to a maze garden.

You pause and look around for another way to pass. There is none. You step forward and walk along the stoned trail....

Suddenly the ground falls and you fall into a pit. You scream and scream, waiting to hit the bottom....

Then you notice the pit was only a foot deep and slap your head at your idiocy. Moving on through the maze. You turn left. Then right. Then left, left, right, right. Another left. A right.

THUD! another pitfall...You turn around and backtrack.

Continuing on...left, right, right, right, left, circle, right angle, cube root. CRACK!

You stump your foot on a statue of an angel playing a harp. Curious, you peer closer at the statue...into it's stone...life-filled eyes....WHAT THE--!?

Suddenly, dark laughter erupts from the statue of the angel, as the stone cracks, and the angel statue lunges into the air to fly above you. The angel circles you menacingly in the air. You stand paralyzed.

Laughing even more darkly, the angel's eyes glow red...and you watch as red beams shoot from them. The stone pedestal of the angel explodes into a million pieces and dust.

Gasping, you leap into action! You reach down and amazingly manage to pull up a long whip with sharp thorns in the leather. You blink, but don't ask questions, and snap the whip at the circling angel above you.

The stone angel screeches like a banshee in pain as the whip snaps onto it's ankle and the thorns did in, cracking the stone.

Again, you blink, then are yanked off your feet as the angel flies higher and takes you above the maze...sort of.

CRACK! SHPT! SNAP! Ouch...You aren't quite high enough to miss the hedges and trees the maze garden is made of...or the stone walls. THUD! Oww....

Eventually the stone angel flies higher and you soar above the maze by a couple of yards. You get a good view of the maze, looking from left to right to straight ahead you notice something. The maze is endless.

Or at least is large enough that it disappears somewhere over the horizon.

And you thought this would be easy. Sigh!

glorybaby


glorybaby

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:12 pm


-2-



You're still at the Maze Garden.

CRACK! SHPT! THUD! SNAP! THUD-THUD!

You moan in pain. Your body continues smashing into brushes, walls, trees, and everything else high enough for you to pound into as this freak stone angel turned alive flies over an endless maze garden, towing you along with it by a whip snaked around its cracked ankle you somehow found. The possessed stone angel shrieks and screams, thrashing in the air, left and right, right and left, up and down, trying to shake you off.

...Wall...

THLUD!

You groan and get peeled off the stone wall just as quickly as it happened. The angel shrieking horribly loud and, suddenly, halting in the air and glare down at you.

You blink, and stare back.

The angel's eyes light up red and beams blast out, snapping the whip you clutch in two. And you fall.

You scream. Like a sissy.

Luckily for you, at one point recently within the past one hundred years the attendants of the maze garden raked up the leaves and you fall softly onto the pile of crunchy, itchy vegetation. Yay you!

Soon, you get up and take a look around at the walls of bushes and trees, sections of stone wall, that appear to be covered in more mold than the part of the maze you were in before and smells almost rank. But you can actually hear some birds and various ominous roaring in the distance.

Nothing left for you to do, you hobble off, lost and trying to find...anything, basically as you are now trapped deep inside this endless mythical maze.

Where had you heard of this place before? Hmm...When you were a child, not too long ago, your parents and friends would tell you stories of the place, stories told towards dusk or at night, anytime the day was gloomy and creepy. Although most stories were made up.

You make a right...left...left, right, follow a partially beaten trail up right...

You can humorously remember one of a boy getting lost in here, vanishing only to come back 19 years later as a man and a hero. The man was like the perfect hero, except he soon became bored and driven insane by normal monotonous life. The man tried becoming a hero and began saving travelers and caravans from raids.

But, soon, even that life was too mundane for him. The people were in awe at him, even as he stayed up for days at a time and worked odd jobs at the town restlessly. One night, it's said, the man dug ditches all throughout the town because there was a small flooding problem. About a week later, after the man marched around the town for four days straight, he packed up his things, supplies and weapons, and wordlessly left town.

Right...right...left...back track from a dead-end...hang a new left...right...right...

People said he headed back to the garden maze, to Obslite Forrest, and to run off with a faraway princess to Fabula Kingdom. But the story changed depending on who told it to you, where, why, how.

You walk still. A right, a left, right, left, left, left, left, right, right, long tunnel-like passages in the bushes, a shortcut through a gap in the thick bushes---CRACK!

...right into another huge stone wall. Ouch. But, hey. This looks different. The stone is more...building structure-like, not wall structure-like. You see, an observant eye would notice this wall is much more decorative, the stone almost shiny and a striking green color.

You feel around the wall and sidle along between it and the bushes, branches scratching and scraping into your back and clothes. After the small torture, you get to the side and follow around the building like structure, old but extremely gorgeous and mythical.

In front, stand worn statues of cherubs and gods, with a near dried up fountain of thick brown...stuff. Stuff that doesn't deserve to be called water.

You look at the beautiful building structure that opens up like a giant gazebo. An altar is inside. So, curious and enjoying all the shiny things, you slowly step up the few ornamental green stairs. A little trail of smoke rises out of the gleaming black cauldron that is an altar. You look inside...

...and GAG! PEE-UUUWWW!!!! That stuff WREAKS! BLEH!

...

...

...

"WHO ARE YOU?"

...

...

...

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

...

...

...

"RWWAARRRRYARRRRHHHAOOOWW!!!"

..EEK!
PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 11:57 am


Hmm....lack of comments or critique suggest my story utterly sucks...

glorybaby


crystalsmuse
Captain

PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:47 pm


Aww... It doesn't utterly suck. I just don't have time to post a lot. It was a fun read. Reminds me of dreams I have when I'm half asleep in the wee hours of the morning.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:50 pm


crystalsmuse
Aww... It doesn't utterly suck. I just don't have time to post a lot. It was a fun read. Reminds me of dreams I have when I'm half asleep in the wee hours of the morning.

*hugs* Yay! A comment! I successfully made it a fun thing to read?...sorta?....kinda?.....

Yay? sweatdrop

If you would like me to ramble about my story, ask and I will <.<

glorybaby


Aeric Brightleaf

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 12:54 pm


It's neat. Reminds me of those choose your own adventure stories my brother used to read me when I was younger. (not just the second-person narrative, plotwise too, actually)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 2:45 pm


It's like... free-verse writing *shudders*

I never really like choose your own adventure books, which this reads a lot like. Sorry, I just don't like it. The flow, form and events don't quite make for an enjoyable read. I guess I'm just old fashioned, or stubborn.

the Demon

Desert_Demon


glorybaby

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 9:32 pm


o.o Plot? It's supposed to have a plot? << >> Hehehe...

Basically, so far...it sounds like you're all indirectly calling it immature writing ^.^ Good to know though. *suddenly breaks down and cries, curling up into a ball*
PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 5:48 am


It's not immature, it's just a different style than most people are used to. I really do think it was a fun read. ^^

*hands tissue*

Aeric Brightleaf


glorybaby

PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 11:56 am


Aeric Brightleaf
It's not immature, it's just a different style than most people are used to. I really do think it was a fun read. ^^

*hands tissue*

Mmk... Thank you...*takes the tissue and uses it* Eh...doubt you want this back... *vaporizes it* I'm talented...sometimes... ninja

Interestingly, I've never heard of "free-style" story writing. In my studies of writing and grammar it has never come up o.o I've never seen anything about free-style or anything. Mostly I've seen different ways plots develop and POV...but never true styles like you see in poetry O.o

Studying writing and grammar is like a hobby of mine...like my only hobby really...and it's not much of a hobby...
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