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 Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 10:34 am
Ok. So I'm a freshman in college and I'm engaged. My fiance and I have set the date for the summer before our senior year, but my parents don't want us to get married until we're out of college. They don't know about the date yet and I don't know how to tell them. They're main argument is going to be kids because I don't beleive in and refuse to take any kind of birth control. I can disarm every other argument they can come up with, but I don't know what to do about that one. And four years is a very long time to be engaged. Can you help me?
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 10:39 am
Personally, i dont plan on getting married until after college AND medical school (i'll probably be about 26 by then. long time, i know, but it is the wisest decision for me that i know of at this point), when im actually ready to have kids. Even if i do take birth control, there is always the chance that i'll get pregnant and i refuse to have an abortion. I give you this advice from personal experience. I would say not to get married until you're ready to have children, even if you dont want to have children. Many parents are right about more than we give them credit for even if they are wrong many times too.
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:45 pm
Princessofwhatever Many parents are right about more than we give them credit for even if they are wrong many times too. This is true! Anyway... why don't you just not have sex until you're ready to have kids then? Personally, I think a bit too much weight is put on sex and birth control. It's just sex. And birth control is just a convenient thing to help you if you want to have sex. (Most of your sperm/eggs are gonna die anyway, that's just what happens.. that's why you start out with so many) But if you're gonna have sex just for kids... well, then look forward to either not having much sex at all, or having to deal with zillions of kids for the rest of your life.
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:50 pm
I don't think that's quite how it works guacamole....
You should probably listen to your parents, they only want what's best for you. Yes four years is a long time to be engaged, but if you decide to take this path, just think how much stronger your relationship with your fiancee will be when you're married. If you choose not to wait, just be careful. Don't have sex when you ovation period's starting...it's not foolproof, but it may help.
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 3:45 pm
But what do you mean by "ready"? If it's when I think I can handle raising children, I'd already be married and have one. And the wait isn't helping the relationship. There have been many times when my fiance has held me because I'm crying because I want a child and it hurts him because he knows there's nothing he can do except hold me and make promises for the future....I know that what we've planned is for the best. I need to know how to show that to my parents.
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Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:31 am
Shadow Singer Ok. So I'm a freshman in college and I'm engaged. My fiance and I have set the date for the summer before our senior year, but my parents don't want us to get married until we're out of college. They don't know about the date yet and I don't know how to tell them. They're main argument is going to be kids because I don't beleive in and refuse to take any kind of birth control. I can disarm every other argument they can come up with, but I don't know what to do about that one. And four years is a very long time to be engaged. Can you help me? silly freshman you really need to take bio chem
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Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 1:29 pm
Shadow Singer But what do you mean by "ready"? If it's when I think I can handle raising children, I'd already be married and have one. And the wait isn't helping the relationship. There have been many times when my fiance has held me because I'm crying because I want a child and it hurts him because he knows there's nothing he can do except hold me and make promises for the future....I know that what we've planned is for the best. I need to know how to show that to my parents.
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Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 2:21 pm
First off, you should tell your parents the date. It doesn't matter (or at least not that much anymore) if they don't like it, it's your life now. But once they know the set date, then you're free to tell them your feelings on the kids issue. talk to them, they can help. they've been through this stuff before. and pray about this too. and even if you get married before your senior year, you'll have a kid when God wants you to have a kid.
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Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 3:08 pm
Shadow Singer There have been many times when my fiance has held me because I'm crying because I want a child and it hurts him because he knows there's nothing he can do except hold me and make promises for the future....I know that what we've planned is for the best. I need to know how to show that to my parents. heh, at least you have someone...I'd really love to have someone to love like that and to have kids...probably more than anything. But I'm only 16 and I have no one to love. And I have to get through college....count yourself lucky that at least you have the possibility within the next 4 years. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:21 pm
thestarthatshines Shadow Singer There have been many times when my fiance has held me because I'm crying because I want a child and it hurts him because he knows there's nothing he can do except hold me and make promises for the future....I know that what we've planned is for the best. I need to know how to show that to my parents. heh, at least you have someone...I'd really love to have someone to love like that and to have kids...probably more than anything. But I'm only 16 and I have no one to love. And I have to get through college....count yourself lucky that at least you have the possibility within the next 4 years. 3nodding its sad to see you limiting yourself of corse you have people to love you just don't know it yet you should go to college but love doesn't need to be second and so what if your 16 i found my one and only when i was 13 and we've been together ever since follow what your heart tells you is right
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Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 4:00 pm
everyone keeps telling me that, but I don't think so... sweatdrop
besides, I think I want to finish college first. =3
and yay for you for having found your love! ^_^
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