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 Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 9:18 pm
The woman who lived in the shoe
Took a bat and a spike, attached them with glue
And beat her children until they were blue,
Staining the walls with a crimson red goo
And child abuse prevention threatened to sue.
So the woman took up a gun,
Deciding to have a bit of fun.
The child abuse prevention started to run,
But alas, their fate was done,
For survivors there would be none.
The children were out of luck,
And none of them had enough pluck,
To tell mommy to suck
Eggs of a Mandarin duck,
So themselves in bed did they tuck.
Then came along Deadly Bill,
A gigantic man who lived in the hill,
Working a mammoth drill.
His massive hands were holding a will,
Written by their father from the mill.
The papers of late pop read:
“Dear children, I am now dead.
I hope you’ve been well-fed.
If mother seems wrong in the head,
Smother her while she is in bed.”
“For children I shall never be back,
And your mother spends too much on crack.
You cannot survive with a mother who does lack
A brain, and a head like a tack.
Simply smother her with a sack.”
“My wish is for you children is clear,
I want you to become famous. Dear
Children, live with good cheer,
For a good future is near.
But remember, don’t overdose on beer.”
So children disposed of their beloved mum,
And gained quite a great sum,
Of money that daddy had invested in gum.
But the killing had left them numb:
To violence, they were now dumb.
Sonny boy first majored in rap,
Oldest daughter danced on a lap,
Third child, boy, worked at Gap,
Fourth child, girl, married a dumb chap,
And fifth child, transvestite, remained a sap.
So Deadly Bill came once more,
With a pocket full of s’more,
And with a ferocious roar,
He busted down the door,
Of the shoe in a condition so poor.
“Now listen here,” he did yell,
“I was a friend of your father Nell.
He wanted you to be well,
And live a live that was so swell.
But by God, what the Hell?”
“Your pitiful conditions I can no longer eye,
Why, children, why?
You could have built a plane that could fly,
But you chose to let your futures fry!
In this case, you might as well die!”
“There is still time to make,
Something of your life, so take,
Time, for God’s sake!
Exercise, revitalize, bake a cake!
Come, children, from slumber awake!”
Inspired by the words of the man,
Who was taller than a min-van,
The children of Nell ran,
Deciding to do what they can,
Like that guy, Jackie Chan!
That’s the end to this tale,
Written by me, the gregarious snail.
Of five children who ended up in jail,
For Deadly Bill they chained to a rail,
Because to reach them, his words did fail.
Now I ask of you, who stuck with me till the end,
What do you think of this story, does it send
A message of hope, faith and love? Lend
Me your opinions! So I can mend,
The problems of the world and bend
The fabrics of reality! And vend
All of the worthless fools of this world who spend
Too much time on useless things! So that I can blend
Them into one common human race that follows my trend!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
GYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
KYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA-
Cack! Cough! HA HA- Urk! Cough cough! Ugh… Gra…
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 9:21 pm
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 9:24 pm
I was bored an wrote it during English lecture.
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 9:43 pm
......................Wow. xd
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 9:44 pm
`Aine Chievious ......................Wow. xd
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:08 pm
YOU SEE? YOU SEE? THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE AROUND SHOES TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!! THATS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME IF I KEEP WORKING AT PAYLESS!
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:18 pm
heart
Very moving.
Might I smother you now? :D
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:19 pm
KingShoy heart Very moving. Might I smother you now? : D
I died at the end.
Plus, I'm not the old woman.
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:21 pm
Magnius of the Chaos KingShoy heart Very moving. Might I smother you now? : D
I died at the end.
Plus, I'm not the old woman.: D What about your possible zombie raising remains? (Who did the art in your siggy anways, and how much did it cost? DX)  That one.
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:22 pm
KingShoy Magnius of the Chaos KingShoy heart Very moving. Might I smother you now? : D
I died at the end.
Plus, I'm not the old woman.: D What about your possible zombie raising remains? (Who did the art in your siggy anways, and how much did it cost? DX) That one.
All slots are full right now, I think.
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:24 pm
Magnius of the Chaos KingShoy Magnius of the Chaos KingShoy heart Very moving. Might I smother you now? : D
I died at the end.
Plus, I'm not the old woman.: D What about your possible zombie raising remains? (Who did the art in your siggy anways, and how much did it cost? DX) -IMG- That one.
All slots are full right now, I think.... 40k... I wouldn't be able to afford it. DX
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